BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA II

Movie of the Week

Story

by

Charles Proser and Peter David

Screenplay

by

Charles Proser

Based on Characters Created by

David Z. Weinstein, Cary Goldman and W.D. Richter

EXT. SAUSALITO - CHINESE HERITAGE MUSEUM - NIGHT

INT. MUSEUM

In the middle of a marble floor a single display case topped by a crystal dome. DISTANT BUZZING, A SHAFT of light appears. Then a BURNING INCENSE STICK. The smoke wafts down.

TWISTING PULL OUT

The incense stick is upside down and being lowered into the room. As the smoke spreads, it reveals laser beams...that form a security barrier.

The incense stick is held by a muscular hand, followed by a powerful forearm sporting the tattoo of a Chinese Dragon.

Black hair, a black headband with red Chinese characters, dark eyes in a handsome, upside-down face; followed by the rest of BOBBY WANG...in red muscle shirt and black jeans.

He is tied upside-down with a red nylon rope. His powerful body moves like a contortionist to avoid the interlocking laser matrix as he's lowered toward the display case.

A thin tube slides down his arm. A liquid drops onto the glass and HISSES as it flows in rivulets down the side. Bobby takes a hammer, covers the crystal with a cloth and taps it gently. CRACK. Bobby carefully pries a piece away. He reaches in, plucks a JADE ARTIFACT from its pedestal.

CU - THE ARTIFACT

THE CHAI TAO...a piece of jade carved into part of a Chinese ideogram.

MATCH DISSOLVE

CU - COMPUTER

A 3D rendering of the JADE PIECE rotates. Text windows appear connecting it to historical references...T'ang Dynasty.

INT. ASSISTANT CURATOR'S OFFICE - SAME TIME

STEVE Van Buren studies his computer. He's 29, smart and confident. He studies a hologram of the SAME JADE ARTIFACT. Using a voice-recognition computer, he tries to fit it and TWO OTHER SHAPES into a complete CHINESE PUZZLE; the CHAI TAO. He's also on the phone.

STEVE

...ROTATE LEFT 10.

Yeah Dad, I know what time it is but I thought you'd like to know. The piece we just put on display, I think I found out what it really is. Something even more interesting! Yeah! The CHAI TAO! Well, according to legend it was created by YAMA, the God of Hell. It's the key to unearthly power.

CU COMPUTER SCREEN

The 3D model, breaks into three pieces, two phantom pieces rendered in wire-frame, the museum's piece in full color.

STEVE

It disappeared...around 580 AD. Rumored to be separated into THREE PIECES, each piece held by certain moral humans for safety. No, it's not the complete Chai Tao, but it sure looks like one of the pieces!

ANGLE - SURVEILLANCE MONITOR - OVER SHOULDER

One security camera is picking up Bobby Wang, but Steve doesn't notice.

STEVE

TILT Z AXIS BACK TEN.

What? I don't know. Priceless!

ZOOM IN 20.

I found it in the Fung collection. Maybe old man Fung was a secret sorcerer. Well, of course not, but that's what they believe... What? Of course it'll be here in the morning, but it's so exciting I just thought you'd like to know. No? Really?

INT. GALLERY - BOBBY

He slowly slips the JADE from the case, puts it in his pocket but as he does, he dislodges the hammer. It drops from his pocket, hits the glass with a PING. The glass shatters and falls, cutting the laser beams. ALARM! Bobby screams a command into a throat mike.

BOBBY

Heur-La! Fi-dee! Heur-La! HEUR-LA!

(Go! Now! Go go go!)

Giou La! (Let's get out of here!)

INT. ASSISTANT CURATOR'S' OFFICE - SAME TIME

Steve's engrossed in the puzzle when ALARMS BLAST.

STEVE

What's that? It's nothing... Just the alarm.

(suddenly realizes)

Look, I gotta go! Bye Dad!

(slams down the phone.)

Damn!

He leaps up, runs out.

EXT. HERITAGE MUSEUM - ANOTHER FLAME LORD

YEE, an Asian-American kid in black jacket and headset pops the clutch of a Ninja Cycle, ROARS off.

ZOOM IN AND HOLD ON THE CYCLE

Tied to the back pommel is the red rope. As he rockets away, the taut rope whips by.

ON THE ROOF

A pulley in a tripod spins madly...as

INT. MUSEUM

BOBBY is rocketed straight up and out.

EXT. THE ROOF

Bobby FLIES into the arms of Flame Lords. They grab his gear, stuff it into packs. They tie the rope to the tripod, hook onto it and drop off the roof.

FLAME LORDS - TRAVELING

They powerslide down the rope and drop to the lawn, hitting with a rolling tumble that brings them up to their bikes. Yee leaps off the ninja cycle as Bobby vaults right into the seat.

WIDE ANGLE

The Lords take off. Still roped to the tripod, Bobby guns it.

EXT. ROOF

The tripod SNAPS FREE, LEAPS off the roof.

EXT. GROUND

The tripod hits and tumbles, dragged by the Cycle.

ANGLE BOBBY - TRAVELING

He roars by as GUARDS run out screaming into radios. The tripod tumbles across the lawn.

STEVE

runs out, sees the Flame Lords roar by. A ROAR. He turns.

STEVE'S POV

A ROARING CYCLE bears down on him. Bobby grins maniacally.

Steve DARTS left. The CYCLE darts LEFT.

STEVE darts RIGHT. The CYCLE leans RIGHT

STEVE feints LEFT, dives RIGHT, just as ...

The CYCLE ROARS BY... ripping his clothes as he rolls. Bobby rights the Ninja, laughing back at Steve.

Steve goes tumbling. He rolls and flips onto his feet, about to give chase when he notices the rope whipping at his feet. He turns. The tripod tumbles straight at him. He dives to the side, lands in a fountain. He comes up spewing water.

EXT. MUSEUM FRONT GATE

COP CARS pull up, SIRENS WAILING, LIGHTS FLASHING, blocking the exit.

THE CYCLE - TRAVELING

Bobby whips out a sword. With one swipe he parts the rope.

He rockets up the front hood of a cop car and launches over it, Cops tumble away. They hop back in just as...

THE TRIPOD

tumbles up and smashes into the cars, wedging them.

CU - FLAME LORDS - TRAVELING - OVER TITLES

Five young men and women of mixed ethnic types, mostly Asian-Americans in leather jackets with Red Dragons. They wear red head bands with Chinese characters. The cycles sport dragon pennants. They're neon streaks as they ROAR by.

EXT. SAN FRANCISCO - CHINATOWN

More cops join the chase and close in. The FLAME LORDS slam into LITTLE CHINA, swerve around blind corners, boots kicking sparks. They roar up a culvert. Cop cars appear at the top. Lords swerve, pull up, surrounded.

The Lords gun their choppers up a ramp into an alley which turns into a luge tube. They rocket down out of sight.

In a flash they are gone. In Little China they are invincible, protected by an invisible architecture of secret ramps, tunnels and bridges. Two cops run up, find them vanished, scratch their heads in disbelief.

TITLE MONTAGE

A mix of stills, animation and live action. Modern San Francisco is contrasted to the past. Modern Chinatown: Martial Arts and modern bustle is SUPERED over ancient images of China: shrines, architecture, scrolls of misty landscapes and mystic images... Ancient gods are intercut against characters from "Big Trouble". Classical Chinese music is heard in modern arrangements. A quick recap of action from "Big Trouble in Little China", for those who care, is transparent to those new to the genre.

END PROLOGUE

ACT ONE

EXT. STREETS OF LITTLE CHINA - NEXT MORNING

Steve and CLARENCE JAMES, a bearish, black SFPD Detective, walk though Chinatown. Steve's upset. He's also stressed out and exasperated. Clarence grins and waves to merchants. He is known and liked in Little China despite the fact that he helps himself to the goods. He takes a fresh lichee nut from a fruit stand, nods to the grocer, pops it into his mouth.

STEVE

Listen, I already told this to the guys downtown.

CLARENCE

Indulge me. Tell me again. Try one of these, they're great. Thanks Lu!

LU

Have a nice day, Sergeant. Take some for the precinct.

He does. He stuffs them in his pocket.

STEVE

I haven't had any sleep!

The grocer offers another fruit.

LU

Insomnia?! Ah... Lo quats!

CLARENCE

Good for the blood. Thanks Lu.

STEVE

You believe that?

CLARENCE

Listen, kid. There are really two Chinatowns. Most people only know of one of them. The one you don't know is a mess 'a mystery. You know, wizards, demons...magic, that kind of stuff.

STEVE

You don't believe that.

CLARENCE

It's bull. But they believe. It affects how they behave.

STEVE

Like breaking into a museum, you mean?

CLARENCE

Yeah. Red and Black dragons, huh? That'd be Flame Lords. Any Blue and green cycles?

STEVE

No. Why? Who would that be?

CLARENCE

White Hearts, rival gang. You know about the Flame Lords?

STEVE

I've heard of them.

CLARENCE

They work for Chi Lung. A real charmer. Extortion, smuggling, white slavery... Nothing we can pin on him yet.

STEVE

And the White Hearts?

CLARENCE

Run by Egg Shen, another local character.

STEVE

Egg Shen? Isn't he some sort of martial arts master?

CLARENCE

Oh, he's got lots of interests ...tour bus company...a curio shop. He's also supposed to be involved in the occult.

Steve turns to him, curiously.

STEVE

The occult?

CLARENCE

It's Chinatown, pal. Some of our guys come outta there babbling about demons, magic potions and stuff.

STEVE

Really? Egg Shen...huh?

CLARENCE

This stuff may sound silly to us, but it's very real to them. It can bite you.

STEVE

It doesn't sound silly to me.

Clarence looks at him curiously.

CLARENCE

The older Chinese still believe in this magic. Chi Lung and the Flame Lords take advantage of that. Gives them power. There was big trouble here a few years ago. Some truck driver wandered in, got himself shanghaied by devils ... at least that's what he said. Some people claim it was magic. Personally, I think the boys got ahold of too much saki. But it raised a hell of a stink downtown.

STEVE

They kidnapped him?

CLARENCE

He was lucky to get out alive. Claimed they tried to kill him.

STEVE

You think they'd kill someone over these...ancient beliefs?

CLARENCE

Yeah. I think they will. Now why don't you just let us handle it.

STEVE

I have to get the jade back.

CLARENCE

Why? Who the hell are you, Sergeant Preston of the Yukon?

STEVE

I'm...I'm interested in this. I...I was born in Xi'an. I been studying this all my life. If this jade is what I think it is, your troubles are just beginning. Now can we get on with trying to find it?!

CLARENCE

Why's this jade thing so important? What's it worth?

STEVE

If it's what I think it is, it could open a window to the distant past...the earliest Chinese culture and beliefs.

CLARENCE

No. I mean in money. You know, ...street value...

STEVE

Well...uh...actually... kind of ...priceless.

CLARENCE

Insured?

STEVE

I..uh...I was getting around to that. Hey! There!

He points to the street corner.

EXT. GRANT STREET

In the crowd, Yee, the Flame Lord. He spots Steve, turns and takes off, slipping into the crowd.

STEVE

Flame Lord! One of the thieves!

Clarence looks up from helping himself to a Chinese pastry. He sees Steve bolt, turns, slams into a delivery boy. Chow Fun flies all over the street. They go down, tangled up.

CLARENCE

Wait! Hey, wait!

But Steve's off and running. Clarence struggles up but Steve's already gone, disappearing into the crowd.

STEVE - TRAVELING

Zipping in and out of the crowd, bumping tourists. He runs up a street stuffed lined with shops for herbal medicines, food, tourist goods.

Ahead, a glimpse. The Flame Lord's headband disappears around a corner.

STEVE

broken field running through the crowd, over trash cans, around barriers. He turns the corner and finds himself in...

EXT. KUNG ALLEY

...a QUIET, DESERTED SIDE STREET off the tourist track, lined with the dim windows of small shops. But the Flame Lord has disappeared.

STEVE'S POV

A Pacific Power truck is parked in front of a SMALL CURIO SHOP. A boom is extended and a worker is affixing a power line to the building. BRAD, a youth in a hard hat, sets out barricades, yells to his partner in the boom basket.

Steve notices the partner, a pretty Asian-American woman. KIM CHAN, 22, wears a t-shirt and jeans. She cannot hide her beauty under a hard hat and as she leans out of her basket to wrestle with the power lines, Steve is drawn to stare.

Brad's a body builder with a Gold's Gym T-shirt and a Forrest Gump/Fast Times at Ridgemont High demeanor. He has the hots for Kim but they're co-workers. There's an underlying sexual tension as he controls her basket height.

KIM

Down a little. Up a touch.. Down. There, that's good.

BRAD

It's great.

ANGLE KIM

She's very pretty, lithe and strong. She leans over her pod attaching wires, glances down at Brad grinning up at her.

KIM

Don't start with me, Brad. Try to be professional for once.

ANGLE BRAD

He glowers, mumbles to himself.

BRAD

What the hell am I supposed to do, work with my eyes closed?

STEVE

Excuse me. See a guy in a red headband come through here?

Steve's standing on a power cable. Brad moves him back.

BRAD

Excuse me, pal. Don't stand there, please. We've got hot stuff up there.

STEVE

Yeah, I see.

Kim leans over, straining her t-shirt. She's very sexy.

BRAD

The wires, I mean.

STEVE

Yeah, the wires.

Brad looks up at Kim impatiently.

BRAD

Think you'll get that tied off before the Year of the Weasel is over and the Year of the Banana Slug begins?

STEVE

Actually, it's the Year of the Pig.

BRAD

The Pig. Oh. Good.

KIM

Hey Brad, it's your year.

BRAD

Yah, funny.

(to Steve)

Well, it's gonna be the year of the fat lip if you don't get off my cable.

(he coils cable,

mumbling to himself)

I'm in the truck with her all day. It's driving me nuts.

(notices Steve's still

there)

Something I can do for you?

STEVE

A kid. About twenty. Red Headband. Black and red jacket. Flame Lord.

BRAD

I didn't see nothing. 'Specially no Flame Lord.

STEVE

How about an antique shop.

BRAD

This whole neighborhood is one big antique shop.

STEVE

I'm looking for Egg Shen's.

He shows Brad his map. Brad studies it, glances up.

BRAD

You're in luck, pal. You're here.

He points at the sign EGG SHEN ANTIQUITIES hidden by Kim's basket. Steve looks around. He senses eyes watching him. Then, a shout!

KIM

Hey! You gonna get those ties or what?

They look up at the impatient girl hanging over the basket.

BRAD

Keep your shirt on!

(sees her stiffen, hands

the map back)

Damn! I'm a diabetic in a candy shop!

Grumbling, he turns, slams open the truck doors, WHANG!

Kim glances down at Steve. Their eyes meet for an instant, then she turns back to her work.

Steve turns to the CURIO SHOP, stares in the window.

INT. EGG SHEN ANTIQUITES SHOP - STEVE'S POV

It's dark. Nooks and crannies are stuffed with Oriental curiosities. The window sports pieces of jade.

STEVE

(to himself; surprise, wonder)

Min din yuk...Burma jade...Ayee yaaa!

The shopkeeper, an old but tough Chinese, EGG SHEN, looks up from his antiquities and stares back. He comes to the front and looks out. Steve excitedly indicates the jade.

STEVE

Is that goo yuk, that sun shan yuk?

(antique jade, new jade)

EGG SHEN

Who are you, Bok gwei?

EXT. SHOP - STEVE

He's unsure. It seems that Egg Shen is looking past him toward KIM...up on the boom. He's polishing something.

STEVE

Ngor hai gai dook shu.

(I'm a student, an acolyte.

Ngor man nee see gow.

(I need your advice.)

I seek wisdom.

CU - EGG SHEN'S HANDS

He polishes a jade piece. It's similar to the museum piece, but not identical.

ANGLE - STEVE

Steve focuses in on it. He can't quite see. He's about to make a move toward the shop when he sees a reflection in the glass. He turns.

ACROSS THE STREET

Yee stares at him, tapping ninja-sticks in his palm... From other corners other Flame Lords appear. SFX - BOOMING CYCLE ENGINES. Flame Lord choppers turn a corner and ROAR up.

The Lords pull up, REVVING their choppers. One kicks over a barrier. It slams into Brad's truck with a LOUD BOOM! Brad rockets out of the truck holding his head and SCREAMING.

BRAD

Hey! What the hell!?

Bobby Wang just laughs at him. Brad stops dead in his tracks. Two other Flame Lords move up grinning and swinging ninja sticks. One says something demeaning in a Dialect. Others laugh, snicker, move to surround Brad. He backs away.

ANGLE - CURIO SHOP

Flame Lords run past. An ancient Chinese nimbly darts out of their way. But Steve doesn't move fast enough. A Lord slams into him, knocks him down.

KIM

looks down.

KIM'S POV

Brad is quickly surrounded, threatened.

THE STREET

Bobby and the Lords move at Brad, enjoying his growing fear.

While others move on Steve...

BOBBY

Goo Gee! La! Say Liang Jye!

(Be careful, jerk)

A FIGURE DROPS into the confrontation; KIM. The Lords jump back, see a pretty girl, move forward. Kim glares them down.

KIM

Bo Woo Ah! Jye...!

(Get ready, stupid)

What she says inflames the Lords. One moves on her. Brad grabs her, pulls her back.

BRAD

Kim, are you nuts? They're Flame Lords.

KIM

I don't care! They are scum...

KER DEY HAI GEU!!!

(They are pigs!)

She's angry, not intimidated. She snaps a kick that brushes the Lord's nose, snaps his head back. He stumbles back. Kim takes a stand. The Lords surround her, mumbling threats.

STEVE

Why don't you leave her alone?

They stop, turn. A single Anglo glares. Steve gets up.

BOBBY

Why would we do that?

STEVE

You're bothering her.

He turns on Steve...threatening. Moves up into his space, into his face, grins evilly.

BOBBY

It's our job. We're Flame Lords.

STEVE

I know who you are.

BOBBY

And I know who you are.

STEVE

Yeah, I think we have run into each other. Listen, I want to talk to you.

BOBBY

About what?

STEVE

The jade you stole from the Heritage Museum.

The Lords stiffen, look to Bobby Wang. Bobby moves forward.

BOBBY

Cop?

STEVE

Assistant Curator.

A beat... Bobby starts giggling.

BOBBY

Oh....worse. Very Scary.

The Lords snicker, then snap into a menacing stance.

Steve takes a defensive martial-arts stance. They stop and look at his moves. Then they laugh.

BOBBY

No, no, no. It's like this.

He snaps into a very serious stance; deadly, practiced, agressive. The other Flame Lords also click into exaggerated poses. They put on a demonstration of much better moves. Superfast fighting, flying, tumbling. Bobby finishes with a tumbling, whipping combo that catches Steve by surprise, sends him into a pile of garbage.

BOBBY

You should leave Little China, BOK GWEI! (white ghost/Anglo)

Steve jumps to his feet. Bobby moves toward him. they mix it up. Steve is surprisingly good. They exchange quick combos.

DA-LA, Saw Jye!

(Go ahead, fight, stupids!)

They turn.

KIM

is moving into an attack stance. Yee goes for her. In a quick, surprising combo, Kim flips, tumbles, kicks, punches and sends Yee through the window of CHEE FUN LAUNDRY. He stumbles out, covered in dry cleaning. Bobby laughs.

BOBBY

Nei gum lyang! You're beautiful!

KIM

Nei gum aie! You're short.

BOBBY

(he laughs delightedly)

You're angry.

(swings onto his chopper)

...I...like that. Get on.

KIM

Get lost.

He likes that, too. He's about to mess with her more when he HEARS SIRENS SCREAM UP!

BOBBY

Yeah, not a bad idea.

To create a diversion, Bobby breaks the Curio Shop window and sets off the ALARM! A quick, unexpected blow sends Steve into the garbage again. Bobby turns to Kim.

BOBBY

I'll see you again.

KIM

(sarcastic)

I'll lie awake nights.

He laughs, nods to the Flame Lords.

ANGLES -THE FLAME LORDS

smash windows up and down the street. Shopkeepers run out screaming, then see who it is and slip back inside.

EGG SHEN

rushes out of his shop.

EGG SHEN

Flame Lords!!!

(they hesitate)

Nei gall guy! You're off limits!

A beat...then Bobby steps up to him.

BOBBY

Hey, old man, what kind of gang would we be if we obeyed the rules?

EGG SHEN

Nei you jow! Leave. Now!

BOBBY

A demand, old man?

He makes a strange move, half-shadow boxing, half martial arts. A portentious gesture that means something to Bobby.

EGG SHEN

A strong suggestion.

BOBBY

I bow to your wisdom.

A nod. A Lord makes a sudden move. Egg glances around the deserted alley, then makes a furtive move: the shopkeeper claps his hands. A FLASH! The Flame Lord tumbles down the street, slams into other Lords, bringing them down in a heap. Egg makes another gesture, a MUMBLED INCANTATION. Suddenly, the Lords seem to be under some force, some type of mind control. They seem compelled. Bobby sees this, then hops on his cycle, gives Egg a mock salute, pops the clutch, SCREECHES away. Lords vanish into the woodwork.

ANGLE - KIM AND BRAD

Brad's awestruck at Kim's fighting skills.

BRAD

Geez, Kim! Where'd you learn to do that?

KIM

Women's support group.

She walks up to Steve, lying in the garbage, picking fish heads out of his hair. Kim stands over him, hands on hips.

KIM

Thanks for your help.

STEVE

Don't mention it.

KIM

But you shouldn't interfere. Not here.

STEVE

Sorry. Thought you were in trouble. Obviously, a mistake.

KIM

(she studies him)

The Flame Lords are dangerous. You better leave Little China.

STEVE

What about you?

KIM

I work here. Anyway...they'll leave me alone.

STEVE

Yeah, so I see. Hey...

He looks around. In the confusion, Egg has disappeared.

STEVE

The old man. Did you see that?

KIM

See what?

STEVE

Flame shot out of his hand.

KIM

You're crazy.

He sees Egg inside his shop, grabs Kim's arm, moves quickly.

INT. EGG'S ANTIQUITIES SHOP

Steve enters, bringing Kim, invading Egg's space.

STEVE

I saw it! Flame.

KIM

Static electricity.

STEVE

Knocked that guy all the way down the street?

KIM

What are you saying?

STEVE

I....I'm not sure.

She looks him up and down, then notices Egg. He's collecting jade pieces from the smashed display window. They approach. He looks up, notices their interest, hands Kim a jade piece.

EGG SHEN

Jade...magical. The only gemstone that changes color when you touch it. It reacts to body temperature, chemistry ...some say...to the person himself. Or herself.

He studies the jade. It's turned lighter in Kim's hand. Egg seems to see something.

EGG SHEN

It's not wise to stand against the Flame Lords.

KIM

I can take care of myself.

EGG SHEN

Yes, I observed. I am impressed.

Egg smiles at Kim, slips into the back of his store. Kim and Steve look at each other for an awkward moment.

KIM

You're lucky you're in one piece.

STEVE

Yeah, I'm feeling luckier...by the moment. (he moves in) You're from Guangdong.

KIM

I'm from Alameda.

STEVE

You're parents, then... southern Canton.

KIM

How can you tell?

STEVE

Your Cantonese...has a provincial dipthong. Que Ling?

KIM

You're close.

STEVE

Really!?

KIM

Yeah. They're from Oakland. Dad's a systems analyst at Rockedyne. I'm as American as Charlie Chan.

STEVE

But you speak Cantonese.

KIM

I yell it. That's about the extent of it...except for some curses on your ancestors.

SIRENS and LIGHTS up ahead. Cop cars SCREECH. Glass BREAKING, cars CRASHING! BRAD runs in.

BRAD

Come on, Kim. My contract specifically states I don't have to work during earthquakes, atomic attacks, or civil disturbances.

She glances curiously at Steve. So does Brad.

KIM

Well...Gotta go.

STEVE

Joy Geen. (goodbye)

KIM

Yeah. See ya around.

EXT. SHOP - THE TRUCK

Brad hops in, starts it up. Kim gets in the passenger seat. Steve follows, closes the door for her.

KIM

And you, bok gwey?

STEVE

I'm not a white ghost.

KIM

No, what are you then?

STEVE

A student. A ...collector.

KIM

Of what?

STEVE

Beautiful things.

A beat. A moment between them. Imperceptibly, she smiles.

BOBBY

Gotta go!

He lets out the clutch.

STEVE

Wait!

BRAD

Later!

Kim stares at Steve as Brad pulls away. A CLATTER. Steve turns as Egg pulls down metal shutters on the shop.

STEVE

Wait! I want to talk to you.

EGG SHEN

Can't talk now.

STEVE

Why not?

EGG SHEN

Busy. Too busy. I have a tour.

He nods toward a colorful TOUR BUS.

STEVE

A tour, good. I'm a student of Chinese culture myself.

EGG SHEN

I'm busy...very busy.

STEVE

We need to talk about this.

Steve holds up a picture of the stolen jade. Egg reacts. He slips back inside the shop.

INT. SHOP

Egg pulls down the metal shutters, draws the shades, turns the "CLOSED" sign, locks the door.

STEVE

I'm Steve Van Duren.

EGG SHEN

(skeptical)

Curator of the Heritage Museum?

STEVE

That's my father. I'm Steve Junior. Assistant Curator.

EGG SHEN

And your father, the famous scholar...put this... on public display?

STEVE

Ah... no. I did that!

EGG SHEN

You! Why?

STEVE

Well...it's...you must know... it's part of the Chai Tao. Isn't it. It's a key...sort of ....a Rosetta Stone...

EGG SHEN

Really! And where exactly is...this Rosetta Stone?

STEVE

Stolen. Last night. By those guys.

EGG SHEN

The Flame Lords!

STEVE

Yes.

EGG SHEN

Oh, I see. Well, Junior...what would your father say about ambition going before a secure security system.

STEVE

I was working on that.

EGG SHEN

What do you know about this Chai Tao?

STEVE

Lots. I was...I was in Xi'an when Li Toa found the Emperor's tomb.

EGG SHEN

You?

STEVE

Yes.

EGG SHEN

How old were you?

STEVE

Well...I was three. But I remember my father talking about it. And I've been researching it ever since.

Egg pushes him out the door.

EXT. STREET.

They walk up to a gaily painted tour bus.

EGG SHEN

Ahhh...all you young pups. You are all the same. You remind me of Kok Leong. He's just like you.

STEVE

How so?

EGG SHEN

Impatient.

STEVE

I've been studying this subject for nineteen years!

EGG SHEN

And you are still not ready. Otherwise, you wouldn't be in this mess, would you?

STEVE

I want to be ready. I want to learn from you. But I also have this.

Steve hands him the picture. Egg studies it closely.

EGG SHEN

Get on bus.

(Steve jumps on. Egg stops

him.)

But first buy ticket!

Steve fumbles in his pocket as Eggs eyes fall to...

CU - PICTURE OF THE STOLEN JADE

It's very similar to Egg's piece.

EGG SHEN

Saw Jai...what have you done!

END ACT ONE

ACT TWO

CU - THE STOLEN JADE PIECE

EXT./INT. CHI LUNG'S WAREHOUSE - A FORTRESS HEADQUARTERS

Chi Lung admires the stolen JADE as Bobby looks on proudly.

Chi is ancient, powerful and dressed like a mandarin. His room's furnished in exquisite art. He's evil, but with a quirky, Alan Rickman/Jeremy Irons sense of humor.

Bobby's attitude has changed. He's uneasy before this powerful sorcerer. Chi rules by intimidation.

BOBBY

So...what's it worth, Boss? Why's this thing so important to you, anyway?

CHI LUNG

(very scary, threatening)

Oh, you are interested in the secrets of my power?

BOBBY

Ahhh...no. No. Not really. Just curious, that's all.

CHI LUNG

You wouldn't think of questioning my authority...

BOBBY

Me? NOoooo....

CHI LUNG

Your loyalty to me is...

BOBBY

...uh..UNquestioned...Totally!

CHI LUNG

You were a lowly street hood and I made you...

BOBBY

Leader of the Flame Lords, your magnificence, and I am deeply grateful. It's just... well, we have expenses... gas, rope...tolls for the bridge...

CHI LUNG

(angry)

Money! You want money?! From me!

Bobby notes the frenzy with which Chi makes certain incantations. He notices Chi's entranced by the stolen jade.

BOBBY

Ah...no, never mind. You seem a little...out of sorts, Boss. Is anything wrong?

CHI LUNG

(looks up from the jade,

snaps)

Oh, no. Everything's...peachy.

BOBBY

You seem kind of...

CHI LUNG

Irritable?

BOBBY

You, Boss! Irritable? Oh, no!

A FORCE BEAM shoots from Chi's palm, impales Bobby and lifts him by the throat, levitating him, choking...

BOBBY

Oh, no. Nope. It's really clear. Wow, Boss, impressive! You can let me down. Very... very wonderful powers you have. Very... powerful power. I mean, how do you do all this neat stuff, anyway?

(Chi turns away. Bobby

slams to the floor.)

Oooof!

CHI LUNG

Oh, you know. The usual. Pact with the devil. Knowledge that is power and all that. But as usual and very disturbing to me...with certain...provisos.

(calls up images. Chinese

ideograms appear.

I've studied the ancient texts.

BOBBY

The ones you had me steal.

CHI LUNG

Borrow. Short term loan. They've revealed the CHAI TAO! The SECRET MAGICAL ARTIFACT that will give me ultimate earthly power.

Bobby takes it.

BOBBY

That?...

Chi snatches it back. With a wave he banishes all aides except Bobby. The others withdraw. The lights dim. A spot highlights just Chi and the jade.

CHI LUNG

ONE of the THREE PIECES separated by YAMA, to prevent their power from falling into...

BOBBY

(helpfully)

Evil hands.

Chi glares daggers at him.

CHI LUNG

Well, when I have the complete Chai Tao, it won't matter, will it?

He pulls a SECOND PIECE from his robe and holds them close. An unearthly GONG RINGS. Bobby staggers, holding his ears.

BOBBY

What the hell is that!

CHI LUNG

Yes. As a matter of fact, it is.

BOBBY

What?

CHI LUNG

Time to complete the bargain. The clock now starts. We have 12 hours from the time the TWO PIECES are combined ...to find and take possession of the THIRD.

BOBBY

Or what? Wait a minute...Or what?!

Chi brings the two pieces together.

CHI LUNG

Yen Lo, Servant of Yama. I summon thee!

A THUNDERCLAP! Bobby grabs his ears and cowers. Chi looks down with disdain. And unearthly HOWL. The statues SHUDDER!

BOBBY

Yen who? Servant of What?!

CHI LUNG

Oh, one of the lords of Hell.

BOBBY

Hell. Real Hell?!

CHI LUNG

Yes, of course.

BOBBY

Of course!? Boss, you been dipping into the Bok Fun again?

CHI LUNG

(threatening roar)

You brought me the power of the Chai Tao! You do believe in what we're trying to do?

Chi threatens. Bobby quakes.

BOBBY

Yes sir...of course! Power is good...more power...just what we need. It's just... what's all this about...Hell?

He notices with fear the changes taking place in the room.

CHI LUNG

Pay attention! Pact with the devil. We have two pieces of the Chai, we get the third piece within 12 hours...no problem. In fact. I will rule hell.

BOBBY

Helloooo! You'll forgive me ...Wise One, but why would anybody make a deal like that? I mean, actually want to go to Hell?

CHI LUNG

Conversation's better. Lot of the deep thinkers are there. I really don't mind, it's just that I hadn't planned on going for... say...several hundred more years.

BOBBY grows uneasy as...

BOBBY'S POV

Statues around the room are changing, coming alive.

CHI LUNG

Besides I'm sure there's a loophole...somewhere.

(glances at Bobby)

Something bothering you?

BOBBY

Uhh...Nothing..No... except ...maybe...well, if I didn't know better, I'd swear that

(points to a gargoyle)

is...coming...to life!

(suddenly wants to depart)

Listen, don't pay me now. I'll just put it on your tab.

Chi places the JADE PIECES on an altar. They emanate power. A RUMBLING HOWL FROM HELL! Gargoyles move. Terrified, Bobby snatches ONE OF THE JADE PIECES, holds it up before him like a protective talisman. Chi is outraged.

CHI LUNG

What are you doing, you fool!

BOBBY

You never mentioned the part about Hell.

CHI LUNG

Must've slipped my mind.

BOBBY

If this has power, maybe it'll protect me.

CHI LUNG

Give me that, you twit!

(Bobby shrinks back)

Don't worry. You're with me!

BOBBY

Yeah sure! The guy about to go to Hell. Great! Look, I want protection!

CHI LUNG

Dammit! Careful what you wish for!

But Bobby's demand triggers a change. The jade GLOWS. He drops it, burning his hand. Chi snaps it up, hides it in the folds of his robe. The room RUMBLES! Walls EXPLODE! In a burst of radiance, Yen Lo arrives. And he is pissed!

The PROCESS SERVER FROM HELL confronts Chi. YEN LO is big and scary as Jack Palance on a bad hair day. He's dressed in blue robes, a conical hat, with a silver serpent embroidered on his chest. He looms over the others, intimidating...

YEN LO

Who commands me?

CHI LUNG

I, Chi Lung, have summoned you, Yen Lo, servant of Yama!

He scoops up the SECOND JADE PIECE from the floor and shows it to him. Yen is shocked.

CHI LUNG

By this piece of the Chai Tao I lay claim to the throne.

YEN LO

You...have violated the rules!

CHI LUNG

Violated. No. I don't think so. No no, I don't believe I have. Certain provisions are, of course, open to legal interpretation.

YEN LO

Don't anger me, Chi Lung! I'm from Hell. We have plenty lawyers. You have violated the agreement and let me see...

(A flaming ledger appears)

Your record doesn't look so good.

CHI LUNG

Oh? How so?

YEN LO

Rape. Pillage. Extortion. Usury. White Slavery. Murder.

CHI LUNG

Now, I believe those are all permitted...under Codicil B...

YEN LO

...Loan sharking, tax evasion, arson, kidnapping, sedition. You tear tags off mattresses. And you never curb your dogs.

CHI LUNG

This is a deal with the devil. Those things are permitted. Encouraged, even! I do them myself. I instigate them in others. How else would you maintain your recruiting volume?

YEN LO

Yes. These are minor things. But you have committed the most serious crime. You've tried to get control of the CHAI TAO. So, I demand that you, Chi Lung, accompany me to...JUDGEMENT. Now!

A BLAST OF THUNDER and LIGHTNING underscores his demand.

The smoke clears. Chi just stands there, unimpressed.

CHI LUNG

No reason for you to get so high and mighty. You ARE, after all, from Hell.

Chi Lung snatches THE JADE from the Altar and fits it with the SECOND PIECE he whips out from beneath his robe. A FLASH! Yen Lo is blown back into a dragon throne. The dragons come alive, snake around and hold him fast.

CHI LUNG

You've grown careless, Yen. I have not one...but two! I now make my claim over the Lords of Hell, and when YOU help me get the THIRD AND FINAL PIECE, I will rule the earth as well!

Yen Lo struggles mightily but the combined power of the two artifacts traps him, holds him on the throne. Bobby's awed.

BOBBY

You have the power? You can hold him there?

YEN LO

Not for long, Chi Lung. The judges have been summoned.

BOBBY

Judges, what judges?

CHI LUNG

Oh, the ones from Hell. Now, I really NEED the third piece.

YEN LO

You have just twelve hours!

BOBBY

Then what?

YEN LO

All Hell breaks loose.

Chi waves...Thunder! Lightning! Flames and smoke break out. The room ROCKS under the evil spell.

END ACT TWO

ACT TWO

INT. CHI LUNG'S FORTRESS - MOMENTS LATER

Bobby studies Yen Lo raging within the dragons' grip.

BOBBY

Is he okay there?

CHI LUNG

Well, if he escapes my control, he's going to be rather cross with you!

BOBBY

Me?!

(Chi nods)

Well, who's got the other piece? How do we get it?

Chi grins down at Yen.

CHI LUNG

You wouldn't care to tell?

(Yen Lo flips him the

Chinese Bird.)

Egg Shen, perhaps?

BOBBY

The good wizard?

CHI LUNG

Good wizard? Good wizard? Oh, he likes to call himself that. Truth is, it's all about power. I've known for years, Egg has the THIRD PIECE. But I didn't dare move until some fool found the SECOND piece and put it on display in a museum!...

BOBBY

Egg's tough. How do we get the piece away from him?

CHI LUNG

My plan is simple. In a word... Trouble. Big Trouble.

BOBBY

That's two words.

CHI LUNG

(turns and bellows!)

Flame Lords!

Doors burst open. Flame Lords rush in. They fall into ranks at stiff attention. Chi Lung struts before them like Patton.

CHI LUNG

(to Bobby)

You give him a message. Unless he surrenders the final Chai Tao, Little China will be reduced to..to...Egg Foo Yung!

(turns to the ranks)

Flame Lords...Out! Out! Begone! Be BAD! Cause Trouble!

He claps. The Lords RUSH OUT for a spree of destruction.

STREETS OF LITTLE CHINA - SAME TIME

A GAILY PAINTED TOURIST BUS rumbles down Grant Street.

INT. BUS

EGG SHEN lectures on Little China. The bus is painted in Chinese motifs finished in red lacquer. Egg looks down the streets, into alleys. He's distracted and lecturing half- heartedly. Steve sits nearby and questions, much to Egg's annoyance, and to the mystification of the tourists.

EGG SHEN

...No. Chinese men were brought over to work on the railroads. Women followed later but the first generations never really assimilated...

STEVE

Yeah, they brought their own beliefs, their mystical priests, their magic.

EGG SHEN

Not true. Actually insulting to Chinese. There are, of course, no such things as demons, sorcery or magic ...within the Chinese scheme of beliefs. Chinese are very rational, law-abiding...

STEVE

What about the Tong wars?

At this, Egg swerves the bus over to the curb in front of a tea shop, opens the door, turns to the few tourist riders.

EGG SHEN

Rest stop. Five minutes. You go shop. Very good tea.

They pile off. Egg turns to Steve, serious, now.

EGG SHEN

The Tong wars?

STEVE

Forty-three people killed. In disputes over drugs, white slavery... gang warfare...

EGG SHEN

Err, that was a long time ago.

STEVE

And there is no power in the Chai Tao...

EGG SHEN

Chai...no. That is just myth.

Steve shows him a photo of the stolen jade again.

EGG SHEN

Where did you get it?

STEVE

I found it. ...by accident... ...in the vault.

EGG SHEN

You did?

STEVE

In the Fung collection.

EGG SHEN

Fung was a guardian!? I knew it!

STEVE

A guardian? What's that?

EGG SHEN

Nothing. Never mind.

(to himself)

If the Flame Lords have it, then Chi Lung has it. That is very bad.

STEVE

Yes, if you believe in the power of the Chai Tao.

EGG SHEN

(dismissive)

Oh, that is just an old story, an old wives' tale.

Steve shows him the COMPUTER RENDERING OF THE Chai Tao piece with the two missing pieces rendered in WIRE FRAME.

STEVE

Whoever stole the piece is likely to have one of these other pieces. That would give him power...would it not?... your friend Chi Lung?

Egg blanches.

EGG SHEN

He would never dare!

(catches himself)

Anyway...it's all rumors, all myth.

STEVE

Maybe, but if it isn't, you might be in danger. Why don't you let me help you?

EGG SHEN

No...no. You do not need to get involved. Thank you. Nothing personal...

STEVE

Everything's personal...

EXT. STREET

The tourists get back on the bus clutching packages as... A LION DANCE approaches...Tumbling kids, streaming banners, Music and gongs. A golden paper Dragon-Lion weaves down the street dancing, leaping, blocking traffic, blocking the bus as the tourists climb back aboard and take seats. One lady proudly shows off a souvenir.

ALMA

Look Ida. A piece of the great wall.

Steve looks askance...

STEVE

The great wall...really! You sent them there, Egg. You're a fraud!

EGG SHEN

Look. If you really had a piece of the great wall would you sell it to a woman in an "Elvis Lives" T-shirt.

STEVE

And you speak pretty good English. Why do you talk like Charlie Chan in front of the tourists?

EGG SHEN

It's what they expect. All part of the experience.

STEVE

You give them what they want to see. And hide the real Chinatown...the magic.

EGG SHEN

One does what one has to do to get by. And to carry out one's responsibilites.

Steve notices a picture of a Chinese kid taped to the dash.

STEVE

And you must pass those responsibilities on to a new generation...Who's this?

EGG SHEN

Yo Ling. My Son.

STEVE

The next...guardian?

EGG

(shakes his head sadly)

He's developing condos in Miami Beach. Not so easy to find respect for the old ways in the new generation. Too many distractions.

ANGLE - BACK OF THE BUS

Two midwestern tourists, ALMA and IDA look at the passing parade, fascinated, clicking their Kodaks. The kid in the lion head leaps on another's shoulders. He shakes and roars.

IDA

Oh look, Alma, a Lion Dance. Isn't that cute...

The Lion leaps at the window. She raises her camera. The lion's mouth opens. She snaps a nice Close-Up of a fearsome FLAME LORD. He SCREAMS at her.

FLAME LORD

Ng ho ying sheung! Bok gwei!

(Don't take photos, White Ghost!)

He smashes the window and grins madly.

IDA

She's gone rigid, too shocked to scream. Her companion hasn't seen a thing. She turns to her.

ALMA

What was that, Ida?

Then she notices Ida's face and the grinning Flame Lord. She...SCREAMS!

Steve turns. The tourists sit terrified, as the lion dancers smash into the bus.

STEVE

So there's no current gang activity?

EGG SHEN

In Chinatown? Of course not.

Just as Egg says it, more Flame Lords burst from an alley and sweep up the street, creating chaos. They overturn trashcans, knock over cyclists. They leap at the bus, run up the sides, dance on the roof. Tourists SCREAM! Doors burst open. Flame Lords fly in.

EGG SHEN

It's nothing. Don't be alarmed. Just a Lion Dance. All part of the show.

BOBBY

Oh no, Egg.

(smashes a window)

A message from Chi Lung.

EGG SHEN

Flame Lords! Begone! You cannot do this!

BOBBY

Wrong. This is just a start. You have something Chi Lung wants. And until he gets it, we take what we want.

Egg slams it into gear, pops the clutch, sending Flame Lords tumbling. Bobby's up, hopping over tourists. He leaps for Egg. They struggle. Bobby yanks the wheel. The bus crashes into a car. Passengers tumble. FLame Lords come forward. Steve again takes a martial arts stance. They laugh, then stop laughing and advance toward him.

BOBBY

No. You still ain't got it.

Look. It's like this.

He snaps into a Martial Arts stance. They surround Steve. Egg Shen moves up, takes a stance next to Steve. He's old, but something about him says 'don't mess with me.'

EGG SHEN

Bok Sum! White Hearts!

It's a call to arm. It echoes through...

EXT. LITTLE CHINA

All along Grant Street, Street Lights in the form of CHINESE LANTERNS GLOW...They PULSE BRIGHTLY...A MESSAGE.

MONTAGE - ALL OVER CHINATOWN

Kids note the flickering lanterns. They slip into alleys, storefronts, parked cars. They re-emerge wearing white jackets with blue and green trim and matching headbands. They are...THE WHITE HEARTS.

INT. THE BUS

Bobby moves on Egg, stalking, feinting attacks.

BOBBY

Give up the jade!

SUDDENLY - The White Hearts appear and engage the Flame Lords. The leader's a good-looking youth; JACKSON CHIN. He moves and fights so fast, he's a blur, like seeing double. That's why he's called "DOUBLE" CHIN. All over the street, in the bus, on the bus...White Hearts fight the Flame Lords to a standstill. Then they drive them back. Then SIRENS, POLICE. Suddenly, the Flame Lords' position is untenable. Steve faces off against Bobby, but Bobby gives a sign...a challenge.

BOBBY

We will meet again.

STEVE

I'm looking forward to it.

The Lords leap out the door, chased by the White Hearts. In a wink, they're all gone.

Egg Shen slumps. The bus driver has an injured shoulder. He tries to turn the wheel but can't. He winces in pain. Steve pulls him out from behind the wheel, drags him to a seat.

EGG SHEN

What are you doing?

STEVE

Just helping out.

EGG SHEN

No, thank you.

STEVE

Don't worry. It'll be fine.

In the back, some tourists are terrified.

TOURIST 1

What was that?!!

Some are irate.

TOURIST 2

What about our tour?

TOURIST 3

Yeah! We paid for a tour.

Steve glances at Egg Shen. He has a pained look on his face.

STEVE

Sorry folks, tour's over.

TOURIST 1

At least get us back to our hotel.

They look at Egg Shen. He hesitates.

STEVE

Look, I can drive. More or less. Whadaya got to lose?

He slips into the driver's seat, starts up, grinding gears.

EGG SHEN

Hey kid!

STEVE

What?

EGG SHEN

Ever driven a bus before?

STEVE

Hey, how hard can it be?

CRASH! Steve looks outside.

STEVE

That car was already damaged. It shouldn't count against me.

BOOOMM! He rips off the side of a parked car.

TOURIST 2

Oh, you can let us out here.

STEVE

Don't be silly. It's nothing. No trouble at all.

Steve tries to pull out, but the tourists clamber off the bus, leaving him with Egg.

STEVE

Wait. I didn't get to tell you about the Chai Tao. Unlimited earthly power. And you all know how much fun that can be.

EGG SHEN

Be silent.

(to the tourists)

Don't believe a word of this. It's all fantasy.

Egg slams the door, cutting Steve off. He turns to him.

EGG SHEN

How do you know such things?

STEVE

PHd. Asian Studies. Berkeley.

EGG SHEN

Oh...book learning!

STEVE

In the twenty seventh century A.D., in the Hsia (Sha) period of Mythical Sages, the Court of Xuang Wa was overrun by horsemen from the north. The Imperial Wizard, Fu Hsi, inventor of the eight trigrams, sacrificed the most beautiful maidens in the Three Kingdoms to the Hell God, Yama, Keeper of the Gate...in return for a secret power to keep the Barbarians at bay. This power was contained in, and focussed by, the Chai Tao. As you know.

A beat. Egg's impressed, but dismissive.

EGG SHEN

Ahh...yes. Very good. But you know nothing about the real Chinatown.

STEVE

Because I'm not Chinese?

EGG SHEN

No. Because you are a Saw jai!

(young fool)

STEVE

If I am a Saw jai, you are a Lo Saw See Fool! (foolish old man) I am offering you help and you need help. You could teach me. I'd help you out. We could team up.

EGG SHEN

No. I don't need your help.

A BLAST OF THUNDER. LIGHTNING FLASHES, clouds let go.

STEVE

Looks like you may need all

the help you can get.

INT. CHI LUNG'S FORTRESS - SAME TIME

ANGRY DISCHARGES SPARK around Chi Lung as he glares at the Flame Lords straggling in...and at Bobby, empty-handed.

CHI LUNG

The Jade?!

(Bobby shrugs helplessly)

What about Egg Shen?

BOBBY

He has what you might call, a bad attitude.

CHI LUNG

So?!!!

BOBBY

There were White Hearts, and cops...and some pain-in-the- butt Anglo guy.

CHI LUNG

Excuses! I ask for the Chai Tao. You bring me excuses!

CHI LUNG (CON')

Yes...I see... The only way to control people is through fear. And what people fear most are the Demons from Hell. And, of course, the IRS. Therefore, I have captured this demon Yen Lo and bent him to my will. Through him, other demons will be summoned and you, my Flame Lords ... will have the honor...to serve as their willing vessels.

There's muttering in the ranks. Chi turns to them, fixes them with his glare.

FLAME LORD 1

Willing vessels, Geez, your worship... I don't know.

CHI LUNG

You will have more power than you ever dreamed of.

FLAME LORD 2

But my Lord, I... I mean... if they...if they inhabit our bodies, what happens to us?

FLAME LORD 1

Yeah, what if we're not willing?

Chi's grin freezes. He levels a scary killer stare at the miscreant. Then he claps his hands. Flame Lord One bursts into flame, burns fiercely, turns to ash. A moment of stunned silence. The other Lords get the point.

FLAME LORD 2

Demons. That's not so bad.

Chi turns to Yen Lo, SCREAMS!

CHI LUNG

You paying attention? Demons!

Yen Lo steams with anger. He resists.

YEN LO

You know the price?

Chi waves his objection away.

CHI LUNG

Yes, of course, virgins. Standard price? One virgin for each demon. I so demand!

YEN LO

Very well. You asked for it. Demons! Day Die Gwei Lei La!

(Hell God, come to me!)

He claps his hands. Around him Demons coalesce, swirl and stream out, up, into..

INT. THRONE ROOM

One by one the Flame Lords are possessed. Their eyes glow with fire, their tongues turn black, steam comes out of their ears. They do a crazy, hip-hop demon dance.

CHI LUNG

Now...that's the spirit!

Bobby notices that he himself hasn't changed.

BOBBY

Hey Boss. What about me?

CHI LUNG

Mindless slaves are only so useful. Your loyalty is unquestioned. Right?!

BOBBY

Oh, absolutely your worshipfulness.

CHI LUNG

Good. Glad to have you on board. Now...think TROUBLE!!!

He makes a magical wave.

EXT. STREETS OF SAN FRANCISCO

Above Little China, clouds roll in, thunder and spiked lightning...a Chinese Walpurgisnacht.

END ACT THREE

ACT FOUR

EXT. DOWNTOWN SAN FRANCISCO

The storm cloud seems to hang directly over Chinatown like another dimension of darkness, rain and mystery. Egg's bus zooms by the China Gate. A police car pulls out and follows.

INT. POLICE CAR.

Clarence guns it, grabs the radio mike, calls in.

CLARENCE

Unit Twelve. I've got Egg at the China Gate. I'm going in. Something's happening in Little China. I want back up!

EXT. CHINA GATE

The bus zips through but Clarence, following closely, seems to hit a magical barrier. The GATE BULGES IN AND SNAPS BACK. The car stalls. Clarence is out, tries to run through the BARRIER but is thrown back as if bounced off a trampoline.

EXT. CHINATOWN STREETS

The PACIFIC POWER truck weaves through a downpour.

INT. TRUCK.

Kim and BRAD, wrestle their truck through the wet streets.

BRAD

Jeez, look at that! Looks like it's hanging right over Little China. Maybe we should get help.

KIM

Pull yourself together, Brad.

EXT. EGG'S STREET - ANTIQUE SHOP

Egg's bus pulls into the Egg's Antiquities Shop garage.

INT. GARAGE

Egg hops out and scurries off, distracted. Steve is suddenly left alone. But what he sees amazes him. Everywhere he looks, books, artifacts, objets d'art...it's a curator's wet dream. The back of the store is a maze, a rabbit's warren of boxes and shelves piled to the ceiling with (cheap props).

STEVE

Wow! Look at this stuff. Shen! Mr. Egg! The Yut Lick Tung Sing! The Chinese almanac; the T'ang codex. Mr. Egg, can I have a word with you?

Steve walks through the maze to the front of the shop, fascinated. It too is filled with ancient, weird Chinese things...dusty books, artifacts, curios of all types. Then he looks up. The shop's been trashed!

STEVE

Geeez! Egg...somebody's been here. And looking for something...looks like...

Egg pushes him out the door.

EGG SHEN

Thank you. Goodbye.

STEVE

Goodbye?! No. Wait... you can't do that!

(Egg turns back...)

I have some questions.

But Egg's distracted. He looks out at the gathering storm and moves around the shop muttering to himself and gathering up old dusty jars filled with strange powders and liquids.

EGG SHEN

No. It's dangerous. Too dangerous. You must go.

Egg shoos him out and closes the shop.

END OF EGG'S STREET

Kim and Brad pull up in spooky darkness and flickering power lines. One sparking line is attached to Egg's shop.

BRAD

Jeez. It's dark!

KIM

And it's our job to turn on the lights. Come on.

She hops out but Brad is reluctant.

EXT. STREET

Electricity crackles from downed powerlines. All business, Kim slips on a hardhat, a climbing belt. She gracefully and powerfully scales the pole. Brad is spooked.

BRAD

Kim...be careful.

KIM

Cut the power, Brad.

Brad opens up a manhole and slips down to cut the circuit.

EXT. EGG'S ANTIQUE SHOP

Steve stands outside in the rain. Egg Shen can't believe it. He goes to the door, arms full of magical elements, jars, powders, potions...He's exasperated.

EGG SHEN

What do you think you're doing?

STEVE

Admit it. You're testing me.

EGG SHEN

Worse. I'm ignoring you.

STEVE

I saw it on Kung Fu. All the other students ran off when it rained. Grasshopper stayed where he was.

EGG SHEN

Grasshopper was an ACTOR! He was the STAR of the show! In real life, we look for intelligence.

Egg slams the door. Steve looks at us. It's not supposed to go this way. He stands dripping in the rain. The door opens.

EGG SHEN

Am I supposed to be impressed by someone too dumb to get out of the rain?

STEVE

Confucious says, "The journey of a thousand miles starts with one step."

EGG SHEN

Confucius also said, 'Get Lost!'

He slams the door.

STEVE

That part must've been lost in translation.

He jumps at a particularly vicious crash of lightning.

EXT. LITTLE CHINA STREETS - MONTAGE

The lightning strikes the tops of buildings and ripples along the eaves like St. Elmo's Fire.

INT. FORTUNE COOKIE FACTORY

A DEMON LORD slams a crank. The cookie machine goes into overdrive. Cookies fly out like tiny frisbees, tattoo the room. Cooks flee screaming as cookies whiz by their heads.

EXT. GRANT STREET - SFX - RAPID DINGING!

A CABLE CAR SCREAMS around a turn, roars up the track, tourists screaming, hanging on for dear life as WE ZOOM into the driver, a DEMONIC LORD WAILING, FUR FLYING IN THE WIND and ringing the bell like Buddy Rich on the drums.

INT. THE FORTRESS THRONE ROOM - SAME TIME

More demons stand around scratching and chafing at the bit. Bobby stares at Chi's face. It's changed, become more evil.

A CLAP OF LIGHTNING. Bobby snaps to. Chi Lung glowers.

CHI LUNG

Virgins.

BOBBY

What?

CHI LUNG

Find me 13 beautiful virgins!

BOBBY

In San Francisco?

Chi glares daggers at him, snaps his fingers. Bobby's hair glows. Flames dance about his face. He's terrified.

BOBBY

Virgins. Right! Good idea. Much prefer them, myself.

CHI LUNG

Virgins are critical.

BOBBY

Well, they are certainly nice.

CHI LUNG

They are payment for the demons. And they will also amuse the judges until I can consolidate my power.

BOBBY

Yeah, virgins'll do that.

But Bobby's becoming disillusioned. He notices a new transformation in Chi. His features have distorted.

BOBBY

Are you okay, Wise One?

CHI LUNG

Never better. What is it?

BOBBY

Oh, nothing...just...well you're becoming a little...

Chi's changing, becoming more demon than man, scaring Bobby.

CHI LUNG

It's nothing....Hormone imbalance. It makes me very...

(Boom! A beam SHOOTS from his hands, levitates Bobby by a terrible grip on his throat.)

...irritable. Now get those virgins while I make special arrangements for Egg Shen. Demons...BEGONE!

Bobby and the remaining demons rush out. Chi turns to Yen.

CHI LUNG

And you...will accompany me.

MONTAGE - LITTLE CHINA

The Demon Lords fan out through Chinatown, yanking poor helpless girls away from their screaming, frightened families. They hold their demon features under cloaks and hats...in shadow, barely but scarily glimpsed.

EXT. GRANT STREET

The Flame Lords run up to a family. One grabs a pretty girl.

FATHER

What are you doing?

BOBBY

Special party. Virgin Night at Chi Lung's. Come.

GIRL

No....

But they tear her away from her screaming parents, run off.

FONG STREET

Lords spot another pretty young girl. They rush up pushing bystanders aside.

BOBBY

She is a virgin?

MOTHER

(aghast, insulted)

Of course!

BOBBY

Special Party at Chi Lung's.

He grabs the girl. Her father moves to stop them.

BOBBY

No. invitation only.

They knock him down, turn to another girl, cowering...

YEE

Virgin?

She looks at her mom and dad...

MEI LI

Errr. Yes.

A demon Lord turns back to her, Bobby.

BOBBY

Mei Li?

MEI LI

Bobby Wong!

BOBBY

A virgin?

She looks sheepishly from him back and forth to her parents.

MEI LI

Yes, of course.

A demon grabs her but Bobby surreptitiously shakes his head. The girl's released. Bobby takes her back to her parents.

Her mother glares at her. She looks sheepish, puts her head down, embarrassed. The demon ROARS, runs off, Bobby grins, waves goodbye to Mei Li, leaving her parents trembling.

EXT. KIM'S POWER POLE

Kim's on the power line in insulated boots and gloves, searching for the source of the outage. She looks around.

KIM

I just fixed this thing... Strange. Only Little China seems affected.

A bolt of lightning strikes nearby.

INT. MANHOLE

BRAD

Kim, Come down! It's too dangerous!

ON THE POLE

KIM

I'm perfectly sa...

Another bolt ripples down the building eaves, hits the pole, knocks Kim off her perch. She dangles by her safety strap, stunned.

EXT. GRANT STREET - BELOW THE POWER POLE

Steve rushes up, sees Kim dangling.

INT. MANHOLE

Brad calls her on the intercom but gets no answer. Curious.

BRAD

Kim, Kim. Are you alright?

THE POLE

She's stunned, hanging in her straps. Steve's climbing up. He reaches her, unhooks her, takes her in his arms just as rampaging Demon Flame Lords appear.

KIM

Brad?

STEVE

Steve.

KIM

Steve?

STEVE

Bok Gwei.

KIM

Oh...you.

THE STREET

A Flame Lord drops into the manhole.

INT. MANHOLE

The demon knocks Brad aside, starts crossing circuits. Terrified, Brad scrambles out of there.

MONTAGE - ALL OVER CHINATOWN

signs explode, bulbs vaporize. Flashes...then darkness, except for the glow from the Flame Lords' eyes.

EXT. EGG'S ANTIQUITES SHOP - ANGLE EGG

Egg sees the Flame Lord Demons rush past.

EGG SHEN

White Hearts!

MONTAGE - ALL OVER CHINATOWN

Chinese lantern street lights PULSE BRIGHTLY. Kids note the call, slip into alleys, storefronts, emerge as WHITE HEARTS.

ON THE POLE

Steve holds the stunned Kim, about to drop down when he sees the FLAME LORDS standing below. Bobby grins up at him.

STEVE

Get away from us. Leave us alone.

BOBBY

Or what?

He makes a mocking martial arts gesture. Just then, THE WHITE HEARTS appear. They mix it up with the Lords but cannot defeat these Kung-Fu Demons from Hell.

Steve carries Kim to the ground. The fight swirls around them. He carries her past Egg, into the shop to safety.

ANGLE EGG

He directs the White Hearts with gestures.

YEN LO

Your time is up, old man.

He turns as the LOOMING, POWERFULLY DEMONIC figure appears.

EGG SHEN

Yen Lo!

A tangle of battling Flame Lords obscures him for a moment, Egg turns away, runs into his shop.

INT. EGG'S ANTIQUITES SHOP

Egg enters. Yen Lo is there, waiting. His eyes glower. Then Chi Lung appears beside him in a burst of flame.

CHI LUNG

Tell him, Yen Lo.

YEN LO

I said...your time is up.

(a long disgusted pause)

Chi Lung has so decreed.

EGG SHEN

(furious)

Chi Lung?! Chi Lung cannot decree anything! Chi Lung is not the Lord of Hell.

He notices Chi Lung off to the side glaring imperiously.

CHI LUNG

Not yet!

YEN LO

Chi's got part of the Chai Tao. I must do his bidding. Part of the job I don't like.

Chi glowers. Yen Lo moves around the shop, examining a dusty book here, an artifact there. He passes Steve and the semi-consious Kim, hiding behind a desk. Steve pulls back to avoid being seen but glances around the desk, fascinated...

ANGLE - YEN

His frown deepens, then he breaks, shrugs, winks at Egg.

He's demonically charming. He and Egg are old acquaintances; veterans of the magic wars. But they keep their eyes on each other...and on Chi Lung. Egg looks at Yen curiously.

EGG SHEN

You are not happy in your work, Yen Lo.

YEN LO

Ah..it's a mission from hell.

(Egg raises his eyebrow)

Well...Chi Lung. Just as bad.

EGG SHEN

What's he on about now?

YEN LO

Ah...that usual, rule-the-world stuff.

EGG SHEN

He's such a low see jye!

(old jerk)

YEN LO

Yes, I know.

CHI LUNG

(shouts from across room)

Tell him! Tell Egg Shen I've got TWO pieces of the Chai.

EGG SHEN

Two?!!

YEN LO

Yes. Now, will you come along?

EGG SHEN

Where?

YEN LO

Ah, he wants to force you, torture you, that sort of thing. You know how he is.

EGG SHEN

Yah, love to. Actually, I've got this dentist appointment..

Egg slides toward his shelf...toward ancient potions. Yen moves to keep Egg's hands in sight. Egg stalls...

EGG SHEN

How could you let demons out?

YEN LO

You ever really read the rules?

EGG SHEN

Yeah, but...

YEN LO

So you know what the deal is.

CHI LUNG

Yes! Tell him! Tell him I've got TWO parts of the puzzle.

(Yen Lo just glares at Chi.)

Tell him if I don't get the THIRD PIECE right now I will reduce Chinatown to rubble!

EGG SHEN

(turns to Yen Lo)

You know what's really at stake here?

CHI LUNG

(interrupting, baiting Egg)

Ah...unslavement of all living creatures, the end of the Fin Syn rule. The demise of civilization as we know it?

Egg slips his hands toward his potions, but Chi spots the move. A MAGICAL CHARGE from Chi Lung blows them out of his reach. Egg turns on Chi...moves into fighting position.

EGG SHEN

It's been a long time, Chi.

CHI LUNG

Yes it has, Egg.

Egg grins, goes on guard. They circle. Yen drops his hand like a referee. In a flash, Egg and Chi are mixing it, full contact, full speed. Kicks, flips, twisters. Evenly matched, fast as a blur. They fight.

EXT. WINDOW

Steve moves out to see. He cannot believe his eyes. A FLASH. Chi's got his jade out. A FORCE BEAM BURSTS from it, but Egg ducks, meets the beam with his own. He flips, kicks the jade out of Chi's hand. The two pieces fly apart. One piece flies to Yen who catches it. Chi scurries after the other piece, grabs it. But Egg's in full control of his power. His beam blasts Chi, blows him right through the window, hanging for dear life onto his piece of the jade. Yen, holding his piece, is also sucked into the vortex...and follows Chi out. Steve is caught in the vortex by the powerful force... He grabs a lightpole as he is whipped by, clings to it for a beat....then is WHIPPED AWAY...

END ACT FOUR

HOUR BREAK

ACT FIVE

EXT. SHOP

Steve's being sucked away in the VORTEX.

STEVE

Egg!

Egg looks up. A quick wave. The wind dies. Unsupported, Steve SCREAMS as he plunges down into...the pile of trash.

STEVE

Stunned for a beat, then he picks himself up, sees Chi and Yen rocketed up, out of sight. Inside the shop, Egg calmly straightens his clothes. Steve turns. The crash has attracted attention. Bobby and two demonic Lords reach for him. He pops up, runs for the store, but they cut him off.

Brad ROARS up in the truck, knocking them aside. Using the truck as a barrier, Brad follows Steve into the store. Steve slams down the shutters. BANG! Demons HOWL outside.

INT. SHOP

Kim is stumbling around, holding her head. Steve catches her.

STEVE

Did you see that?

KIM

What?

STEVE

Those guys. They burst out of here and he...just phfft! like that...straight into the air.

Kim just stares at him, foggily. But Steve is concentrating. He goes to a reference book Egg's left fallen open on the shelf. He flips through rapidly searching...finding...

STEVE

Wait a minute I know that guy! That was..

(finds an ancient picture...

an imposing figure in

conical hat, robe and

silver chest serpent)

...Yen Lo! Servant of Yama... You know who that is?

KIM

You...are one strange Anglo.

Steve looks up, suddenly realizes...

STEVE

Where's Egg?

They turn around. No Egg Shen. The store seems deserted and half destroyed in the fight. But Steve sees a glimmer of light, a wisp of vapor from behind a shelf.

STEVE

Yama, the Chai Tao. Have you ever heard of Dai dei... Chinese Hell?

KIM

I know all about Hell.

STEVE

No, I mean...the ten levels?

KIM

Oh, yeah. Myths... Stories my grandmother used to tell.

Steve studies the wall, then pulls open a Buddha to reveal a passageway into a maze of boxes and shelf-lined corridors.

STEVE

Myths huh.

KIM

Yeah, Myths.

STEVE

Well...let's see...

Gestures toward the dark passage. A pause.

KIM

Sure. Why not?

They step through leaving Brad. Outside, demons howl. He doesn't want to be left there. He steps through.

THE MAZE

It's dark and spooky. Dimly seen shapes. Brad tags along a confused, scared look on his face. Kim and Steve creep scrunched together, arguing.

KIM

(scornful, skeptical) Sorcerers, guys flying through the air..ten levels of Hell...

BRAD

What ten levels? Ten levels of what? What's he talking about?

KIM

Ancient superstitions. In the first level you're put before the 'Mirror of Retribution'. Your sins determine your form on reincarnation.

STEVE

So, a lazy soul might come back as an ox.

She stops.

KIM

That's what Grandma Hong used to say...

She looks at him with interest as he rattles on. But he's searching through the boxes, examining objects and seems to be following some unseen intellectual or spiritual trail...

STEVE

In the second court, the gossiper has his tongue pierced. The glutton is starved, the thief has to kneel on steel granules.

KIM

(getting interested)

Yeah, I know...the irreligious are sawn to pieces, the wicked are boiled in a cauldron.

BRAD

Whew! And I thought Catholicism was tough!

STEVE

It gets worse. In the Third Court of Justice, the disrespectful have their hearts, eyes and livers torn out. In the Fourth, sinful are thrown into a river. Liars get split lips.

BRAD

Anybody ever tell you you're a lotta fun? Where are we, anyway?

STEVE

The Fifth is where cheaters have their hearts torn out with hooks.

BRAD

Hooks?

STEVE

Hooks. In the Sixth, thieves are gnawed by rats. In the Seventh, torn apart by dogs. In the Eighth, run over, made to swallow burning oil...their skulls smashed. You do remember?

Kim is getting intrigued...despite herself. Suddenly, it's a weird mantra...as if she's seducing him.

KIM

Yeah, and in the Ninth Court druggies are attacked by snakes and dismembered.

STEVE

And in the Tenth court final judgement is passed.

Kim and Steve. A moment. A look. Interest. Brad's oblivious.

BRAD

Whew! And you believe all this. I mean is all this real?

Then the mood breaks. Kim is her rational self again.

KIM

As real as a little man flying through the...

She gapes at what she sees up ahead.

KIM'S POV

Egg Shen is in a cul-de-sac surrounded by his magical implements. He is in a trance and levitated a few inches off the floor. He smiles at her. Behind him THE THIRD CHAI TAO JADE glows softly in an altar, emanating a glowing pulse...

INSIDE CHI LUNG'S FORTRESS HQ - SAME TIME

Yen Lo CRASHES through a skylight. Unsteadily he gets to his feet, straightens his robes, dusts off his piece of jade.

YEN LO

I hate when that happens!

He looks around. Chi Lung now in control of his jade piece glides down to the floor, glaring furiously, his Flame Lords nearby.

He snatches the SECOND JADE PIECE from Yen Lo and fits them back together. Yen Lo glances at him, then over his shoulder. He snaps to attention. A JUDGE stands there; A judge from the COURTS OF HELL. And he's glaring at Yen Lo.

YEN LO

First Judge! Your Honor!

The judge looks at him distastefully.

JUDGE

So? What's all this?

YEN LO

He's got two pieces of the Chai Tao.

JUDGE

So you're legally bound. You must do his bidding.

YEN LO

I was trying to.

CHI LUNG

I sent him out for a wizard. We're back. No wizard!

YEN LO

It's not just any wizard. It's Egg Shen.

CHI LUNG

(mimicking Yen Lo)

It's Egg Shen, it's Egg Shen.

(furious)

I want him! And his jade.

YEN LO

That's not so easy.

JUDGE

You're a Court Officer...a Demon of the Court.

YEN LO

Egg's still got part of the puzzle. So it's an even fight.

CHI LUNG

Even? Egg and Me?

YEN LO

Yes. Because he isn't a say liang jye (jerk) like you!

CHI LUNG

You dare to insult me?! In my seat of power?!

JUDGE

Okay, you two. I've heard enough. I've made a judgement.

(moves to Yen Lo.)

I'm sorry, oh Great One, and I use that term sincerely...But you are held by the power of the Chai Tao. If you are unable to perform your duties by the next rising of the sun, we will be forced to appoint Chi Lung the new overlord of Hell; Pro Tempore. I don't like it, but you are legally bound. I cannot interfere.

He disappears in a blue flash. At a gesture from Chi, Yen Lo is sucked to the dragon chair. Dragons snake around him.

YEN LO

No. Wait! Stop......Very well, your wish, Chi Lung?

CHI LUNG

You will bring Egg Shen to me. With the jade!

More Demon Lords surround Yen. He angrily salutes, is gone.

INT. BACK OF EGG'S SHOP - THE MAZE - SAME TIME

Egg lowers himself to the floor, turns to his visitors. Steve is fascinated, Kim's skeptical, Brad's terrified.

STEVE

What's happened, Egg Shen?

EGG SHEN

Some idiot uncovered a piece of the Chai Tao and put it on display in a museum!

STEVE

Oh.

EGG SHEN

Now Chi Lung's got it. He's also got just a few hours to get my piece or go to Hell.

STEVE

What'll he do?

EGG SHEN

I don't know. He's desperate.

(turns to his work)

Leave me now.

BRAD

What a good idea!

STEVE

Why don't you trust me? I just want to help.

EGG SHEN

(sarcastic)

You've helped sufficiently, thank you. (a beat) You just want to learn the magic.

STEVE

That too.

EGG SHEN

It will not work unless your heart is true.

Egg takes the jade, slips away...It's so fast, for a moment they don't realize he's gone. They Steve runs to catch up.

BRAD

Okaaaay! That pretty much leaves us out of the picture. Let's go.

He tries to lead Kim off. She doesn't move.

KIM

No. Wait.

BRAD

Wait! For what?

KIM

Nothing. I'm...I'm curious, that's all.

BRAD

You don't believe in...

KIM

Magic, myths, legends... No.

She runs after Egg and Steve. Brad brings up the rear. Kim finds Steve. Egg scurries on ahead. Steve has stopped to study an object.

STEVE

Chu'an do! I don't believe it!

KIM

Another holy object?

STEVE

Ancient surgical instrument. These people...your people were doing open heart surgery four centuries before Christ. At least...I think they were. I can't really prove it.

KIM

Why are you so interested?

STEVE

(dreamily)

I...was born in Shaanxi Provence. The first image I can remember is of the ancient quarter...the temples...the Gum Lung ceremony.

KIM

The first image I remember is The Flintstones.

That breaks the spell.

STEVE

Don't you wonder...? I mean, we're so modern..so arrogant ... but we have no idea of the beauty of the ancient ways... of what was lost over time. Of what the real powers are...

KIM

You mean my grandma's myths...

STEVE

Yeah. Myths. Even China isn't China anymore. There's a Burger King across from the Forbidden City. Only in certain areas...well hidden... do the ancient mysteries live.

They have a moment. Steve turns. Brad's there, frowning.

BRAD

Can we get on with this. I'm hungry. For me, lunch is an ancient mystery.

Kim glances at Steve.

STEVE

The magic has left China. But I think it's here...in Little China. This jade...it's the key...proof of the existance of the ancient beliefs.

Kim smiles, glances at Brad, then slips away.

INT. STORE

Egg's busy. With mental powers alone, he repairs objects broken in the fight. Pieces fly onto shelves, broken pottery reassembles itself. Kim's stumbles in. Her mouth drops open.

KIM

Was that...?

Egg putters around, combining ingredients into spheres.

EGG SHEN

Magic?...Perhaps.

KIM

You don't expect me to believe that?

EGG SHEN

No. As the community becomes more Americanized, these mysteries fall into disuse, disrespect ...disbelief.

STEVE

You know what I think? That the wise ones permit the secrets to fall into myth. The less the public knows the better. But it's also their prime mission to evaluate and test promising young people.

EGG SHEN

Yes...it's a constant struggle to keep the ancient beliefs alive yet secret...and to find young people with the moral character to become guardians of the CHAI TAO.

He looks intently at Kim. She turns away. Egg looks pensive.

STEVE

What do you say, old man?

Egg considers then reaches around his neck. The CHAI TAO piece dangles from a gold chain. Egg takes off his necklace, steps forward. Steve grins and reaches for it but Egg presents it to KIM.

KIM

What's this?

Kim looks at it. The colors ripple in her hand.

EGG SHEN

It... is meant for you.

KIM

It's beautiful...but...

EGG SHEN

If you are going to act so recklessly you must carry it at all times.

KIM

No, I can't...

EGG SHEN

You must!...

(He's overstated something,

backs off, to save face.)

Please...

Steve slips in next to her.

STEVE

Take the piece. Take it.

KIM

What's it to you?

He says nothing. Kim knows something's going on, but doesn't know quite what. And the piece is very beautiful. Egg grins.

KIM

Well, okay. Thank you.

EGG SHEN

No. Thank you.

Egg smiles enigmatically, slips away. Kim and Steve look at each other and the jade for an awkward moment, then follow..

KIM

Why are you looking at me? I'm American, not Asian. I want nothing to do with the old ways.

STEVE

You study martial arts.

KIM

For self-defense.

STEVE

The jade?

KIM

It's pretty but magic powers?

She shakes her head.

STEVE

You deny it? Even when you see mystical things?

KIM

What ....mystical things.

(She holds up a Chinese

tourist gimcrack.)

Magic, is that what you think?

STEVE

I believe it's magic... I also believe...it's real.

KIM

Sorcerers, demons? It's fantasy!

STEVE

But you saw Egg...

KIM

Ah...the light was bad.

STEVE

Then how do you explain this...

He tries a trick. He rubs his hands, mumbles incantations, spreads his palms. A flash. He staggers back. She looks contemptuous. Then Egg is back, smiling...at Steve.

STEVE

I almost had it down.

KIM

That's it? The magic? You're going to go up against... "sorcerers"...with that?

Egg steps forward...holding ancient texts.

EGG SHEN

He thinks he knows everything.

Egg makes a quick move, a glowing lotus blossoms appears, then dissolves into golden mist.

STEVE

How'd you do that?

EGG SHEN

You know the thing up here?

(indicates his head)

You must know it down here.

(his heart)

STEVE

But I do.

EGG SHEN

You think...you have the gift?

STEVE

Yes.

Steve makes the same kind of gesture. A blossom starts to appear. Then dissolves in a poof! Egg is slightly impressed.

STEVE

See. You believe me?

EGG SHEN

No. But I do need all the help I can get.

(He smiles. He's kidding.

He likes to rag Steve.)

Come. We must prepare.

He zips through the maze, grabbing a vial here, a lacquer box there. Steve hops to follow.

EGG SHEN

Lung quat; Dragon Bones. Fut show; Buddha's Hand. Mow ngon; Cat's Eye...And...tiger bile. Tannis blossom. Lichee tea.

STEVE

Tea?

EGG SHEN

Replaces electrolytes lost fighting demons. Some mandrake root...corn starch for body. Now mix it up.

Steve mixes it. Egg drinks. A TRANSFORMATION! He's no longer a wizened old man, but a powerful wizard. He turns to Kim.

KIM

Don't look at me like that, old man.

He offers the potion. She ignores it. Steve sneaks a sip.

EGG SHEN

You deny your heritage?

KIM

My heritage? Subservience to men...to the old ways?

EGG SHEN

Ahhhh...yes. You are overly rational. Not a common failing among women.

KIM

(irritated)

Thank you.

Steve just smiles at her...he feels a strange potion power. A lotus blossom appears in his hand. It throws her off...

KIM

Who are you to tell me about Chinese mysticism?

STEVE

I study. I'm interested. Do I have to be Chinese?

He turns to face Egg Shen...Egg hesitates, then is forced...

EGG SHEN

A worthy pupil is a worthy pupil.

STEVE

And that worthy one...is one who believes.

Steve spreads his hands. A faint charge flickers between his palms. Egg's intrigued. He points to a glowing incense coal on his altar to his ancestors. .

EGG SHEN

If one really believed...one could pick it up in his bare hands ...that is, if one is truly worthy.

STEVE

And if not?

EGG SHEN

Oh, it'll burn the hell out of you. You must have faith. And a comprehensive health plan.

Egg looks at Steve critically, gauging his reaction.

Steve picks up the fiery ember. Egg's intrigued. Steve glances at Kim, loses concentration, cries out, drops the coal.

EGG SHEN

Of course, hot coals are a problem for those with short attention spans.

Egg picks up the coal, pops it into his mouth, swallows it. He burps discreetly. A small flame bursts from his mouth.

EGG SHEN

Excuse me. See, not just faith but heart. Otherwise all you'll wind up with is heartburn.

Steve stares wide-eyed at Shen, at the blazing coals.

Egg turns away...a whispered aside.

EGG SHEN

Anybody seen my bromide?

Kim starts to say something but he winks at her. It's a joke. He moves over and opens the shutters. The demons are long gone. The street is deserted. Brad senses the attraction between Steve and Kim.

BRAD

Come on.

KIM

What?

BRAD

We gotta go.

KIM

Go?

BRAD

This is not our fight...or whatever it is...I mean, we have a job to do. And they're calling us. We gotta go in.

She looks at Steve.

STEVE

Oh, that's okay. I'll stay and fight alone.

Kim turns, hesitates.

KIM

Alone? You two against all the forces of Hell?

STEVE

That's alright. We can handle it.

KIM

You couldn't handle a Kung Fu move last time I looked.

STEVE

Thanks for your concern. Bye.

KIM

You don't think you need help? You don't think he does?

BRAD

Come on. They don't need you.

KIM

They need...something. They just won't admit it.

BRAD

Yeah, well, what can you do?

A beat as she considers.

KIM

Stay. You go.

BRAD

Go? Where am I gonna go? You're my partner, right?

KIM

Right.

BRAD

Even when you're wrong, right?

KIM

Like now, you mean?

BRAD

Right. I must be out of my mind, but there's one thing I do know... There is no such thing as demons and magic.

Just then, a GIANT FLAME BALL bounds up the street and bursts through the windows. Out of the flame a Demonic Chi Lung appears. He waves his arms. The flaming ball roars at them. Steve steps in front of Brad and Kim and catches it in his hands. He SCREAMS, his hands FLAME.

CHI LUNG

Yes, Does it burn and sizzle?!

STEVE

No. I like to do this.

CHI LUNG

Give me the Chai or...

The FLAMES ROAR. So does Steve.

EGG

Mind over matter. Mind over matter!

STEVE

Do you mind? It's my matter.

KIM

Help him!

EGG SHEN

You must treat the bad magic with contempt.

(turns to Kim)

You must also believe...

KIM

Me?

EGG SHEN

It couldn't hurt.

(to Steve)

Relate it to something real.

STEVE

Something real? The last time I was holding a ball of fire. Let's see...that Kung Pao chicken in Beijing. It was my birthday. I made a wish.

EGG SHEN

Make it now. You can do it!

STEVE

I can't.

KIM

Make a wish.

This gets him. A look determination crosses his face. Steve stares at his hands burning fiercely. He takes a deep breath and blows with all his might. The flame flickers out. Chi Lung's gone. Egg's pleasantly surprised.

EGG SHEN

Very good, grasshopper.

KIM

What did you wish for?

STEVE

Train set. Same as always.

EGG SHEN

Well, whatever it was, it worked. I'm proud of you.

STEVE

You mean that?

EGG SHEN

Yeah, proud as any inscrutable person can be. There may be hope for you two yet.

KIM

What are you talking about?

EGG SHEN

Yin and Yang. Man and woman. Each incomplete without the other. But when they come together, BAM!

(He punctuates with a

tiny explosion.)

You are not one of us, but... you have something. Here...the ancient texts. Maybe if you two work together...

STEVE

I don't know if that's possible.

But at Egg's gesture the walls open up to reveal a LABORATORY with potions, flasks, mortars and pestles.

EGG SHEN

You've heard of Aladdin's lamp. Well, same thing. The holder of the complete Chai can ask a wish. It must be granted. Chi will ask to rule.

BRAD

So? What the hell?

KIM

Yeah, if it's Hell who cares?

EGG SHEN

Well, you know Chi. He who rules hell can screw up everything!

KIM/BRAD

Ohhhhhh....

Steve's in the back, beside himself with excitement. He runs his hands over the books. Then he notices movement from the nooks and crannies. They've been surrounded by figures. The White Hearts appear. Double Chin looks alert, on guard.

EGG SHEN

It's okay, they're with us.

Double relaxes a touch...studies Kim, Brad, Steve.

DOUBLE CHIN

Egg, we need help. The Lords are grabbing young women and tearing up the city.

EGG SHEN

So, why is this night different from any other?

DOUBLE CHIN

It's something odd..They don't seem quite...well...human.

Suddenly, there's a ruckus outside.

EXT. GRANT STREET

Flame Lords rush up the street, leading virgins. Citizens try to fight back, but they are no match for the Flame Lords. One girl pulls away, runs to Egg's window. She cries for help, but a Demon Lord pulls her away.

EGG SHEN

They aren't. Chi Lung has turned them into demons.

OUTSIDE - MORE SCREAMS!

DOUBLE CHIN

White Hearts. Come On!

The White Hearts show why they're not called White Brains. They rush out. Kim follows...

EGG SHEN

No. Wait! Wait for the magic!

He just doesn't listen...Come on!

Egg frantically stuffs spheres in a pouch.

EXT. STREETS - NIGHT

The demons rush the virgins ahead. The White Hearts chase, followed by Kim, then Brad and Steve. Egg brings up the rear lugging the pouch.

BLIND ALLEY

The Flame Lords rush in and disappear. The White Hearts follow...then look around...uneasy.

DOUBLE CHIN

They're gone. What do we do?

BOBBY

Prepare to Die!

A MAGICAL IMAGE SHIFT (OR A CHEAP DISSOLVE)

The empty alley is filled with demons demonstrating demonic powers, nasty weapons and bad attitudes. They surround and move in to attack. The Hearts are rushed from all sides.

EGG SHEN

rushes up with his pouch of magic. He rolls the spheres at the Lords...They burst like holy shrapnel.

KIM AND BRAD

fight valiantly, twisting, kicking, leaping. Even Double is impressed. But the Demonic Lords are too much. The White Hearts are driven back.

A RUSH. The Demons focus on Kim, grab her and drag her off. Brad lunges for her, but comes up with just the JADE NECKLACE. A Flame Lord tumbles him into a corner.

EGG

battles madly, but there are too many. They rush him. He disappears in a pile of writhing demons. His pouch drops. The spheres tumble out.

STEVE

makes a grab for the last of the exploding spheres. It rolls towards a sewer grating...

Steve dives for the sphere. Just as it drops into the sewer, he intercepts it, tosses it blindly in the Flame Lords' direction. It EXPLODES!

ALLEY - MOMENTS LATER

The dust clears. The demons are gone. So are Egg and Kim. Steve helps Brad up and notices the necklace.

CU - THE JADE

It glows and throbs powerfully.

ANGLE - STEVE AND BRAD

They are entranced, then they look up...then they notice.

STEVE/BRAD

My God! Where's Kim?!

END OF ACT FIVE

ACT SIX

EXT. LITTLE CHINA - ALLEY - NIGHT

Steve and Brad pick themselves up. The alley is deserted and as it was before. No sign of magic. They walk off quickly into the dark, spooky night. Brad is freaking out!

BRAD

Cheeshhh!, truck's trashed. Kim's gone. Hey, those were some scary demons! Demons! My god!

STEVE

They took Egg. We gotta find him.

BRAD

I'd tell you to go to hell, but I think we're already there.

STEVE

What about Kim?

BRAD

Yeah, Kim... I hope she's alright. Hey, how am I gonna explain this to the company?

STEVE

Do you understand? they kidnapped Kim!

BRAD

Yeah, Boy, I hope those demons know what they're doing. They get on the wrong side of her, they'll wish they'd never been born...or whatever demons are.

They turn into another blind alley and stop. Too late.

STEVE

You wonder why they took them and not us?

BRAD

Should we be insulted?

STEVE

It must be the jade.

BRAD

What jade? You mean this?

Steve reaches for the jade just as Flame Lords drop. One snatches the jade from Brad and holds it up triumphantly. Steve snatches it from the demon and runs.

A CHASE

Through alleys, tunnels, passages. Steve scampers ahead. The jade holds them off, throwing up weird images of nonexistant alleys. Demons turn into them and slam into walls.

CUL-DE-SAC

Steve breaks into an open area lit by a trashcan fire that throws scary shadows on the walls. One shadow's a demon. It grabs for Steve. He ducks but Brad is caught, dragged off.

BRAD

No. Lemme go! You can't do this. I'm in the union!

STEVE

turns back to help. He's jumped. They fight. Steve's out- numbered. A Lord stuffs Steve head-first into a trashcan. The demonic Lord steps back, pleased with his work.

STEVE

Chai tao sun! Bong ngor!

(Puzzle God, help me!)

A BOLT shoots out of the can, enveloping the demon. Steve's BLOWN OUT, spinning.

IN MIDAIR

He rights himself, holds the jade out before him. He lands softly, amazing himself as much as the demons. He's singed but okay. He unclenches his fist, notices...

CU - STEVE'S POV

The jade has left a burning imprint.

STEVE

Ayee yaa! Jun Bong do ngor!

(Wow, he really did help me!)

A BURST OF PLASMA from the jade.

ANGLE - STREET

The Lord's now just a pile of smoking ash. Steve's alone.

STEVE

He studies the jade curiously. It changes color.

STEVE

Jeezzz. I got 'em, Brad.

(he looks around)

Brad?... Where are you?

INT. CHI LUNG'S FORTRESS - DUNGEON - SHORT TIME LATER

Egg and Kim are imprisoned along with a number of sobbing, young girls. Brad is carried in and dumped on his head.

BRAD

Ooof! Hey, I believe you've just violated my civil rights. You're in big trouble now!

The demon LUNGES AND ROARS at him. It curls Brad's hair. He rapidly scrambles backward, away.

BRAD

And do something about your breath.

He catches sight of Egg.

BRAD

Whew! These guys are kinda lax in personal hygiene.

He spots Kim.

BRAD

Kim...there you are...

He looks around.

BRAD

Kim. Where the hell are we?

She looks at Egg.

EGG SHEN

Not exactly Hell. But close.

Egg is strangely calm as Buddha, but Kim is seething.

KIM

How can you sit there so calmly?!

BRAD

What's wrong?

KIM

What's wrong?! We've been captured by demons, imprisoned with a bunch of whining... young...virgins.

BRAD

Yeah...

(eyeing the virgins)

You know...it's not so bad...

KIM

And you! Great Wizard! Why don't you do something!

Egg looks up from his meditation.

EGG SHEN

Why don't you!

KIM

Me?

EGG SHEN

The jade has foretold your actions. Trust the Chai Tao.

KIM

Chai Tao? What kind of hocus pocus...?

EGG SHEN

Chi Lung must face the Judges of Hell. He doesn't have the complete puzzle. He'll stall ... maybe offer them virgin sacrifices for more demons. And to keep them amused.

The mist parts, more virgins are revealed, tied to stakes.

BRAD

Yep. That would do it for me.

KIM

Sacrifices?

EGG SHEN

I'm afraid so.

BRAD

Wow! Good thing I'm not a virgin.

(she glares at him)

What are you so mad about? I think you're off the hook, too!

KIM

Why don't you try to find a way out?

EGG SHEN

There is no way out.

KIM

Of course there is...

She walks toward a doorway...BLLLZZZT! She's blown back.

EGG SHEN

The mystic bands are too strong.

KIM

Are you a top wizard?

EGG SHEN

You must use the Chai Tao.

(She stares at him.)

...the jade.

KIM

This...?

(reaches for her necklace)

It's gone.

EGG SHEN

Gone?! What do you mean?

KIM

I mean I don't have it anymore.

EGG SHEN

Then, we are in Big Trouble.

BRAD

I could'a told ya that!

KIM

I must've lost it during the fight.

EGG SHEN

Well the Flame Lords don't have it. ...maybe Steve...

BRAD

Steve? Last I saw of him, they had him over a barrel.

EGG SHEN

But he's not here. He's not captured. It's strange, he... has the will. And possibly the ability to accept. Maybe he is the one I'm looking for.

(He watches Kim closely

for a reaction.)

I revealed the ancient ways to him. If he evaded the Lords he must have the magic well in hand.

EXT. EGG'S SHOP - SAME TIME

A MASSIVE EXPLOSION blows out what's left of the windows.

INT. EGG'S SHOP

Steve sits at the counter, blackened face, shards of a flask in his hand. He looks up at Double Chin.

STEVE

Right. Too much nitro. I'll just add some Yun-sum root.

Double Chin's unsure. Steve's too excited to be intimidated. He busily mixes potions from Egg's magical ingredients.

DOUBLE CHIN

Err..what exactly did Egg say to you?

STEVE

Uh, you know...the magic... it's really a simple thing if you follow the formulas. Of course, you have to believe, have faith and all that.

DOUBLE CHIN

Did he say anything about talent? ...You know, a feel for the thing?

Steve adds a powder. A small BLAST rattles the windows.

DOUBLE CHIN

Did he mention liability insurance?

STEVE

I'm sure he's got staff to take care of that. I'm operations. I'm gonna take all this stuff and go and get him and Kim. Maybe Brad.

DOUBLE CHIN

You? Against Chi Lung? You're just gonna walk in?

STEVE

No, I'll take the bus.

DOUBLE CHIN

You're crazy!

STEVE

Yeah, people always say that.

DOUBLE CHIN

There's a good reason. If you think you...can go against Chi Lung and the demons, you're out of your mind.

STEVE

What about your master?

DOUBLE CHIN

We will handle it. We don't need your help. We are quite capable. Come on, Hearts, let's go.

They turn, march out.

EXT. CURIO SHOP

They emerge to find Steve standing there. Stunned, they turn and see Steve still standing inside. Steve raises his hands parallel to each other. Electricity dances between them.

DOUBLE CHIN

How'd you know how to do that?

STEVE

Oh, the Mau Soot! ...the "Two places, One Time"? ancient hat trick. Still want to leave?

DOUBLE CHIN

More than ever.

STEVE

Before the main event? Maybe they should call you Mo Dam... the Faint Hearts.

The White Hearts look at each other, stiffen at the insult.

STEVE

They got demons, they got most of the Chai Tao. They got Egg Shen. I think you guys can use all the help you can get. Look, I don't know what I'm doing ...I'm just learning about this.

DOUBLE CHIN

Then why do you interfere with us?

STEVE

I have to get the jade back. For the museum. I also...well I just want to learn about this. Look...

He creates a hologram of the jade. It shimmers before them.

DOUBLE CHIN

You've learned the magic...

STEVE

Yeah. And I've devised a potion. I think it'll enhance strength and speed. At least that's what it says in the book, here.

They look uneasy. He offers it. It bubbles from flask to glass and foams toxically.

STEVE

The first one's always free.

DOUBLE CHIN

(excessively polite)

Oh, no. You first.

Then he's not so sure. He screws up his courage and swallows it. He drinks, stands blinking and burping.

DOUBLE CHIN

How d'you feel?

STEVE

Strong as an ox.

(sniff, sniff)

...Same fragrance. Care for a sharpener?

They back away.

STEVE

You want to grow big and strong like the demons, don't you?

DOUBLE CHIN

How can you know of this?

STEVE

I'm a quick study.

DOUBLE CHIN

No. It's impossible for you to lead us, to learn the magic, the ancient ways...Only Egg Shen can know these things.

STEVE

Oh?

(flips, lands in the same

place, TWANGS with

energy.)

Well, maybe it's because my heart is pure.

(A flask blows, showering

them with shrapnel.)

Then again, maybe not. Maybe I need the jade. Well, your move. You want me faster and stronger. You want to leave a stranger to save your master? Alone? Against all the forces of Hell? Well? Do ya?

At the dare. Double grabs the potion, takes it in a gulp.

STEVE

Well...

DOUBLE CHIN

I think I...feel...something. Hey, I feel great!

STEVE

That's just the caffeine. Can you move really fast?

DOUBLE CHIN

How's that?

STEVE

How's what?

DOUBLE CHIN

See, really fast.

Steve rolls his eyes, but Double turns and high-fives him, making a mild thunderclap.

DOUBLE CHIN

Haiiii Loh! Fat seut do!

(Yes, Victory! Magical powers!)

He flips, spins, tumbles, darts around the room at incredible speed. The White Hearts are clearly seeing double. He's a blur. Then appears in a flash before Steve.

DOUBLE CHIN

What do you think?

STEVE

Looks like happy hour at the espresso bar. Who's next?

The White Hearts line up, grab cups.

STEVE

Potion, potionccino, or potion latte?

EXT. LITTLE CHINA - LATER THAT NIGHT

EGG SHEN'S BUS creeps through the darkened streets.

INT. BUS

Steve and the Hearts are wired and jabbering like magpies.

Double Chin notices the sky above the warehouse.

DOUBLE CHIN

Shhhhh... Uh oh!

EXT. LITTLE CHINA

The sky boils with swirled lightning and dark clouds.

INT. CHI'S FORTRESS - THRONE ROOM

Egg, Kim and Brad are dragged in. The Flame Lords present the virgins. Chi's more demonic than ever. He grins at the terrified girls, at Egg, Kim and Brad.

CHI LUNG

Thirteen beautiful virgins.

BOBBY

Yeah, practically every one in the Bay Area.

CHI LUNG

And the jade?

BOBBY

The jade?

CHI LUNG

(furious)

I told you to get the final piece of the Chai Tao! Time's running out!

BOBBY

He doesn't have it. We looked all over, took his shop apart.

Chi's overcome with fury, and grows madder and madder.

CHI LUNG

Where's the jade, Egg Shen?

EGG SHEN

With a worthy mortal.

CHI LUNG

I will have that Jade!

EGG SHEN

Yes, I know. In fact, isn't this where you gloat over your power?

CHI LUNG

(in a fury)

No. this is where you die!

A sword appears in Chi's hand. He WHIPS it through the old man's chest. A Flash! Bobby looks in horror as Egg dissolves into thin air.

END OF ACT SIX

ACT SEVEN

INT. CHI LUNG'S FORTRESS - SAME TIME

Bobby looks at smoking ash that used to be Egg Shen.

BOBBY

Boss, you gotta work on your temper. Egg's gone! Now, how you gonna ask him stuff?

CHI LUNG

Ah, Egg...forgotten but not gone! Don't worry.

EXT. CHI LUNG'S FORTRESS - SAME TIME

The bus idles as the White Hearts surveil the perimeter.

DOUBLE CHIN

Well?

Double is apprehensive. Other White Hearts report.

WHITE HEART

Reinforced gate. Tripwires, interrupter beams. Motion sensors...possibly gas.

DOUBLE CHIN

(turns to Steve)

What do you think?

STEVE

I think this calls for something elegant

DOUBLE CHIN

Right. Like what?

INT. FORTRESS

Flame Lords stand guard. Suddenly, THE DOOR SHATTERS, sending them flying. The bus ROCKETS through, filled with screaming White Hearts, SLAMS into a wall and comes to rest steaming. Double shakes his head.

DOUBLE CHIN

That...was elegant?

STEVE

I thought so. You know...in terms of simplicity.

INT. FORTRESS / EXT. BUS

The Demon Lords are down but not out. They swarm as the White Hearts tumble off the bus. The battle's joined.

It's demon versus potion, magic against magic. The demons are horrific and terrifying, slashing the air with their razor claws. The White Hearts are so quick the demons can't nail them, can't land a blow. The White Hearts are inside their defenses, are flipping overhead. They're everywhere.

Double Chin flips to get out of a jam and lands in a cache of firecrackers. He rubs them together at super speed, springs out just as they go off in a technicolor BLAST!.

White Hearts fall upon the demons. The White Hearts penetrate further into the hidden domain. Then...the Demon Lords back away. Double warns...

DOUBLE CHIN

No! Wait! Hold up!

Too Late! The trap is sprung. The walls DISSOLVE and they are alone, in a MAZE. Chi Lung's LAUGHTER RINGS...

INT. THRONE ROOM

The Flame Lords retreat into this innermost sanctum, licking their wounds. Chi Lung's LAUGHTER stops. He's not happy to see them. HOWLING! He turns back. The Judges of Hell appear. They're old, they're decrepit, ill-tempered. They glare at him with ill-concealed contempt. He puts on a happy face.

CHI LUNG

(mumbles to himself)

...not quite ready...

(then to the judges)

Judges of Hell...Welcome! Good to see you! Glad you could come! How've you been?

The first judge just scowls. Chi's smile freezes. He turns to Judge 2.

SECOND JUDGE

We've been in Hell, Chi Lung. How good could it be?

CHI LUNG

Yah, well...Okay then, right to the show! Presenting...

He spreads his arms like a Master of Ceremonies. Thirteen altars appear in a circle. On the altars the sobbing virgins are bound. Among them is Kim, being tied down by Bobby.

ANGLE - KIM AND BOBBY

KIM

What's all this for?

BOBBY

The virgins? Oh, sacrifices. Down payments on the demons.

KIM

So what am I doing here?

BOBBY

Kind of an honorary thing. You know, you could come to the dark side with me.

KIM

I don't think so.

BOBBY

Are you sure? You'd look good in red and black.

KIM

You are working for an evil psychopathic maniac.

BOBBY

Hey, well...Nobody's perfect. You gonna let a little thing like good and evil come between us?

KIM

Look at him. He isn't even human anymore. How will you come out of this? You think he'll let you live when it's over?

BOBBY

(shocked at the thought)

He'd never...

KIM

Yeah? Look at your friends.

More Flame Lords stumble in. One is badly wounded and GROANING. Annoyed, Chi Lung turns, lofts a PLASMIC BLAST, BLOWS HIM AWAY. Clumps of demon fur float to the floor.

ANGLE BOBBY

Distracted, or possibly intentionally...he fails to secure Kim's hand.

ANGLE CHI LUNG

He glares at the smoking spot, turns back to his guests.

CHI LUNG

Ahem...Now, the sacrifice will come to order.

GONGS RING. Demons come to attention. The ceremony begins. Chi Lung goes to the first young woman, putting his hands on her shoulders. She struggles to withdraw in horror.

CHI LUNG

It's alright. It's not sex.

Kim struggles to break free.

KIM

You maniac, you'll kill them!

CHI LUNG

Please miss. Is that really helpful?

He turns to the terrified girl, leering.

CHI LUNG

Not death as we know it. Just the temporary use of their souls. Hardly miss 'em. Kind of like living in Cleveland. Trust me.

With glowing eyes, the evil sorcerer starts to pull the girl's soul right out of her body. Her eyes bulge...green mist drifts out and curls about her head. She struggles and pulls it back.

CHI LUNG

That's right, don't make it too easy.

He leans in, his eyes glow red, his face morphs into a horrible monster. The Virgin opens her mouth to scream.

With a SUCKING SOUND her soul exits her mouth as a column of pale green smoke. The girl's soul becomes a bright sphere that floats above her empty head.

CHI LUNG

See, if women would just learn to keep their mouths shut.

ANGLE - KIM

KIM

(outraged)

You...Geu! (pig)

Chi Lung turns his awful attention on her. He glares. He takes an interest and moves to her.

CHI LUNG

And who is this?

BOBBY

Extra added attraction. Kim.

Chi is pleasantly surprised.

CHI LUNG

Oh, yes. The new...moral one. A force for hope. Perhaps... the keeper of the jade?

KIM

I don't have the jade.

Chi turns to Bobby, glaring...

CHI LUNG

Did you check?

BOBBY

I'd be happy to look again.

He moves to Kim, grinning. ROAR! Bobby's lifted in a PLASMIC BEAM. He flames for a bit, then drops. Chi turns away.

ANGLE - BRAD

BRAD

This guy's really starting to get on my nerves.

Chi looks over and BLASTS BRAD out of the room.

ELSEWHERE - CORRIDORS

Steve, Double, and the White Hearts penetrate deeper into the TUNNELLED MAZE of Chi Lung's lair. A RUMBLE - A BLAST

Brad SLAMS DOWN nearby, stunned.

STEVE

Brad. How'd you escape?

BRAD

They called for virgins. I guess I just don't fit the job description.

DOUBLE CHIN

You're lucky.

BRAD

Hey, I'm the last guy picked on softball teams too.

STEVE

Come on.

BRAD

'Come on,' he says. Like he knows what direction.

STEVE

Any direction but here.

They explore the subterranean galleries. Hidden doorways lead to secret passages held by mysterious visual and aural clues. The puzzles are based on Chinese iconography. Steve must decipher the pictorial characters of ideograms.

STEVE

Fong gon...the character for room. Neur...the sign for woman.

DOUBLE CHIN

A secret passage?

STEVE

No. I think its the ladies room. Keep looking. Here. Lo...Heung Ceung Lo...a pathway between villages...

He presses. BLINK

THE WALLS DISSOLVE

They are now in a chamber. At one end is an elaborately carved GOLDEN GATE. Egg, now a GHOSTLY, VAPOROUS FIGURE, is held by a FORCE BEAM.

STEVE

Egg, what happened?

EGG SHEN

I lost a little weight. What are you doing here?

STEVE

Well, actually...we're...well, we're lost.

EGG SHEN

Lost, Grasshopper?

STEVE

Yeah, and they've got Kim. And two parts of the jade.

EGG SHEN

Whew! That's what we in Hell call a major screw up.

STEVE

Can you help us?!

EGG SHEN

Not while I'm held here. Not while the jade's lost.

BRAD

It's not lost. I got it right here.

He holds up the THIRD PIECE OF JADE

MATCH DISSOLVE

INT. THRONE ROOM - SAME TIME

Chi sets the other pieces in an altar. The girls' souls drift above their bodies. Kim engages Bobby's attention.

KIM

Do something! This is horrible.

BOBBY

This is nothing. You should see when he really loses it.

KIM

(moves to Bobby)

You're better than this. You don't belong with him.

BOBBY

You really think so?

A beat. Surreptitously Kim works at her bonds.

BOBBY

Well, I certainly didn't count on this demon stuff.

KIM

Let me tell you about Hell... Now the first level...

ANGLE - CEREMONY

Nobody notices Kim. All attention is on the girls' souls. They drift toward the Judges.

The Judges look very interested. They move closer to see them dance.

CHI LUNG

I promised virgins, I gave you virgins.

The virgins vanish in a burst of light.

CHI LUNG

Now we make a deal.

JUDGE

We make no deals, Chi Lung.

ANGLE - KIM

still working on Bobby, whispering in his ear.

BOBBY

Hooks? Really? Hooks?...

KIM

Yeah, looks like your soul is in real danger. Those judges look friendly to you?

Bobby's glances at them. They glare. Unnoticed, Kim slips her bonds, sneaks away.

ANGLE - CHI LUNG

CHI LUNG

Not so easy to find virgins in Hell. Quite a premium on the goods. Think about it.

And for the piece de resistance. A resistant one.

He turns to Kim's position. No Kim. The dungeon door's open.

CHI LUNG

Where is she!?

BOBBY

Uhhh... Gone.

CHI LUNG

I can see that, you idiot!

Bobby's horrified. Chi's grown uglier, demon-like...hellish.

BOBBY

Boss, can I have a word with you.

CHI LUNG

Not now! Find her! Bring her back! Flame Lords, Begone!

BOBBY

Boss, take a look at yourself. This isn't good for you.

Chi hurls a BOLT that blows him backward down the hall.

He staggers to his feet, shakes his head.

BOBBY

This isn't right. What am I doing here?

(Glances at the demons) Ah, hell. Come on.

Demon Flame Lords follow him.

INT. CORRIDORS - KIM

A MAZE of doorways, chutes, ramps, obstacles. Kim's on the run. She ducks down a ramp into a tunnel. The demons are ROARING close behind...drawing closer. Ahead, Flame Lords, behind, Bobby and more Lords. She ducks left, then is cut off. She slams into a gate.

ANGLE - AN ELABORATE GOLDEN GATE

Interwoven scrolls and icons, dragons, and idiograms.

Bobby catches up. He approaches with the Flame Lords.

BOBBY

Now you made him really mad.

Kim backs against the gate...trapped.

KIM

I don't believe this.

OTHER SIDE OF THE GOLDEN GATE

Using the jade puzzle piece, Steve, Double and the White Hearts are trying to figure out the magical unlocking formula. Egg coaches from within his force field.

STEVE

That sounds familiar... Kim?

INTERCUT

KIM

Steve? They've got you too? No it can't be.

STEVE

Oh, of course! You demand rationality? At a time like this?!

A HOWL from the approaching demons. She turns to face them.

KIM

This isn't happening. I'm not here.

STEVE

Fine, tell me where we are.

KIM

Well I...I...I can't. It doesn't make sense.

STEVE

Not to our rational sense of the world, but I'm dealing with it, so who's acting rational?

KIM

You are, huh? And just what do you think?

STEVE

Near as I can figure out, we're on some other physical plane.

KIM

And you went to college for that?

STEVE

I have studied it, yes. Something you might consider. Your mind tells you this can't be. But maybe your heart tells you something else. If you look at everything rationally, well, hell... most things don't make sense. Men, women. You. Me. To do anything, you have to have faith. It's only when you feel...when you suspend your disbelief...

KIM

You really believe that crap?

STEVE

Not really. You?

KIM

Uh unh.

The demons move in, ROARING, HISSING, CLAWING.

STEVE

But we better find something! Egg, help us!

EGG SHEN

I can't. Yen Lo is the only one who can do that. You must call him. You both must! Use the jade.

He holds up the jade to the door.

STEVE

Remember that phrase your grandmother taught you...

EGG SHEN

But you must also believe...

KIM

Believe...I believe...I'm in Big Trouble...

STEVE

Chai tao sun...do!

(Puzzle God...come!)

Kim resists...but then...what the hell! She reachs through the carved gate, her finger barely touches the jade...

KIM

Chai tao sun, bong ngor!...

(Puzzle God, help me!)

BOTH

Yut chai ho hup!

(United in harmony!)

The jade FLASHES! The GATE flies open. A ROAR OF FIRE.

END OF ACT SEVEN

ACT EIGHT

INT. THE THRONE ROOM - SAME TIME

Yen Lo arrives with Brad, Kim and Steve, Egg, Double and Bobby Wang. The White Hearts and Flame Lords tumble in after them. Chi Lung has completed his change...He's been transformed into an ogre. Bobby's shocked and disgusted.

BOBBY

Here, Chi Lung. The Chai Tao!

He holds it up. Chi sends out a BOLT and grabs it, but Bobby hangs on and is carried over to the altar. He drops. Chi glares at him, eyes burning.

BOBBY

Let them go! Chi Lung!

You've got what you want.

Chi opens his hand for the jade. Bobby's compelled to release it. Chi grabs the THIRD JADE, knocks Bobby aside,...and puts all the pieces togeth...

CHI LUNG

No!

Bobby leaps at him and knocks them apart! They fly off in different directions. Chi sends a FIREBALL BLASTING at Bobby. He's knocked down, tumbled under the blast. The Flame Lords attack. Double and the White Hearts take them on.

ANGLE CHI

He throws a BOLT down at the three pieces of jade. They slide across the floor, inexorably drawn back toward Chi.

THE CHAI TAO

Steve leaps for one piece. He grabs it...He's dragged by it under and through the tumbling combatants.

KIM

leaps for the second piece and gets dragged, kicking and struggling against it.

BOBBY

has the other, he digs in his heels trying not to let the pieces come together but, inch by inch, they're drawn in...

Demons grab them by the ankles, piling on. Brad and Double try to hold off the demons.

Chi turns his power on Kim. Her piece pops out of her hand, flies to Chi, who spears it like a short stop. She's highlighted in a force field. Chi grins triumphantly. He LEVITATES her. Steve runs to her is BLOWN BACK, crawls to her, reaches out. She reaches back but the field has her... and draws her and the jade and drops them before Chi. He grabs her.

BOBBY

No!

CHI LUNG

(shocked)

No?!!

BOBBY

Not her.

CHI LUNG

Not her? Then who?

BOBBY

Aww...Aww hell. Take me!

CHI LUNG

You! Who wants your worthless life?! You...Ching Twa!

Bobby breaks loose, heaves his jade toward Steve. It hits and slides. Everyone dives for it. Steve gets there first.

CHI

is furious! The magic sword appears. He SLASHES though Bobby. Blood spatters onto the field that imprisons Yen Lo.

STEVE

grabs Bobby's piece, slams it together with his.

CU - THE JADE PIECES

...COME TOGETHER. POOF! A MASSIVE EXPLOSION!

THRONE ROOM -A MILLISECOND LATER

Yen Lo appears full-sized and disgruntled. He waves the smoke away. He towers over the terrified Chi Lung.

YEN LO

Judges..render your judgement!

JUDGE

What do you think? I kinda lean toward the virgins.

YEN LO

No! The deed has been done. Your duty is clear.

They turn to Chi.

CHI LUNG

No! I got you virgins. Look at all the trouble I caused. Hell would be nothing without guys like me!

He grabs Kim as hostage...and grabs the THIRD CHAI TAO PIECE. Steve lunges for him but he threatens Kim with knifelike claws. Kim slams her elbow into his gut. The CHAI flies from his hands, lands at her feet. She dropkicks it to Steve. The demon in Chi rises up, horrible, threatening...

CHI LUNG

Give me that jade ...or die!

Steve slams the third piece into place and makes the complete CHAI TAO!

STEVE

Go to Hell!

FROM THE JADE - A BLAST KNOCKS STEVE AWAY THEN SHOOTS AT CHI LIKE A SPEAR THROUGH HIS SOLAR PLEXIS. He's rocketed up. Below, a hole opens.

THE ENTRANCE TO HELL

He's swept in and plunges down...screaming all the way. When the dust clears, there are only bits of cloth floating up from the hole. Brad picks up the CHAI TAO, studies it. Yen Lo looks on complaisantly.

YEN LO

Never liked that guy.

Kim runs to the fallen Steve. She drops to him.

KIM

No. It can't be.

YEN LO

Sorry. The decision of the judges is final.

KIM

No. Please. You must return him to me!

YEN LO

We're dealing with immutable laws of the universe here.

She grabs the Chai Tao from Brad, points it at Yen Lo.

KIM

You're a wizard. You can do it!

YEN LO

Would you mind not rubbing the jade when you make suggestions like that.

KIM

(gets tough)

It's not a suggestion!

She slams the pieces together. POP! A BEAM shoots. Virgin souls suck back into their bodies. Flame Lords revert from demons to punks. The Judges disappear. But Bobby's ghost still hangs in the air and Steve just lies there.

YEN LO

Do you have any idea how that screws up the paperwork?

KIM

I don't care!

(Turns to him, fire in her

eyes.)

NEI YU BONG NGOR!

(You must help me!)

(a demand)

Steve...

She slams the pieces together! The air BURSTS, the WIND WHIPS fiercely. The White Hearts drop back, shielding their eyes. The dust settles, Kim stands with Steve at her side. Egg and the virgins appear in human form. Yen Lo smiles.

YEN LO

You know I really didn't think that would work.

KIM

I...believed...

She and Steve are looking deeply into each other's eyes... getting lost...Yen Lo prattles on...

YEN LO

You are very impressive for a mortal woman.

KIM

(sarcastic, ignoring him) Yeah... wow, thanks.

YEN LO

Yes...Perhaps if you lead a life of quality...and you avoid saturated fats, you... and your soul mate, might be fortunate enough to go to Hell again.

KIM

(underwhelmed...)

Gee...that'd be swell.

Steve suddenly notices a lifeless body.

STEVE

Bobby...

EGG SHEN

He fought Chi.

YEN LO

And in so doing, possibly saved his soul.

STEVE

Aw, you know...He wasn't so bad. He shouldn't go to hell.

Yen Lo smiles.

YEN LO

I'll see what I can do. Well, I must be off...souls to gather, houses to haunt.

He glows and rises up, does a kung fu flip about the room, and disappears in a shower of sparks.

BRAD

I don't get it.

KIM

(ironic)

It's because we Chinese are inscrutable.

STEVE

I don't know, I find you highly scrutable.

KIM

You're kind of interesting yourself...in a goyish way.

STEVE

I'm just trying to learn...

EGG SHEN

That's admirable, Grasshopper, Now, If you just cut out those one liners. I may take you on.

STEVE

As partner?

EGG SHEN

Apprentice. We must study and search for worthy youth.

STEVE

We've got one right here.

KIM

Not me, I've got my own career.

STEVE

You sure I can't change your mind?

KIM

You can try. A little of that old black magic...

They kiss.

STEVE

Thought you didn't believe in that...

KIM

Convince me...

EXT. LITTLE CHINA - IN FRONT OF EGG'S SHOP - NEXT DAY

The KISS continues... Then Kim breaks. Clarence walks out of Egg's shop, hands Steve a cellular phone.

CLARENCE

He's still yelling. You better take it.

STEVE

Yeah, Dad, the jade... It's lost...yep, sorry. No way to get it back. Well, Sorry you feel like that. But I'm afraid that jade is gone for good.

He winces at a LOUD BLAST as the phone is slammed down...

STEVE

Oh, and say hello to Mom.

CLARENCE

He's kinda mad at you. Maybe you should stay in Little China... it's a lot quieter than out there...

He gets in his car and pulls away.

KIM

I'll see you again.

STEVE

And I'll see you.

Kim climbs into the truck with Brad.

STEVE

Take care of her.

BRAD

I don't think she needs

my help.

Brad offers his hand. Rivalry exists, but also friendship.

Kim hands Steve the piece of Jade. He fits the pieces together to form the complete CHAI TAO, but Egg takes them.

EGG SHEN

They must stay separate, Grasshopper. It's better that way.

He hands Steve the single museum piece.

EGG SHEN

See if you can take better care of this.

STEVE

We both will...okay?

Egg gives the second piece to Kim.

EGG SHEN

Okay.

(turns to Brad)

But the secret must stay hidden. It's better that we forget about this.

Egg makes a quick magical motion. Something comes over Brad.

BRAD

Forget about what?

Steve puts his arm around Egg's shoulder.

STEVE

Louie, I think this is the start of a beautiful...

(looks at Egg. A beat.)

....uh...apprenticeship.

Egg laughs. They walk off arm in arm.

EXT. - LITTLE CHINA

Kim drives away. Brad pulls out a beer.

BRAD

I don't know...All this mysticism stuff...It's all just a fantasy. I don't believe a word of it.

KIM

Yeah, you're probably right.

Popping off the lid, he tilts his head back to drink. Green smoke rises out of the bottle as he raises it to his mouth. Kim starts to warn him as we......

ZOOM UP AND AWAY...FROM BIG TROUBLE...

THE END

BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA II

Movie of the Week

Story

by

Charles Proser and Peter David

Screenplay

by

Charles Proser

Based on Characters Created by

David Z. Weinstein, Cary Goldman and W.D. Richter

Second Network Draft

November 1, 1994

GALAXY WAY PRODUCTIONS

Registered WGA,w

All Rights Reserved