BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA II Movie of the Week Story by Charles Proser and Peter David Screenplay by Charles Proser Based on Characters Created by David Z. Weinstein, Cary Goldman and W.D. Richter EXT. SAUSALITO - CHINESE HERITAGE MUSEUM - NIGHT INT. MUSEUM In the middle of a marble floor a single display case topped by a crystal dome. DISTANT BUZZING, A SHAFT of light appears. Then a BURNING INCENSE STICK. The smoke wafts down. TWISTING PULL OUT The incense stick is upside down and being lowered into the room. As the smoke spreads, it reveals laser beams...that form a security barrier. The incense stick is held by a muscular hand, followed by a powerful forearm sporting the tattoo of a Chinese Dragon. Black hair, a black headband with red Chinese characters, dark eyes in a handsome, upside-down face; followed by the rest of BOBBY WANG...in red muscle shirt and black jeans. He is tied upside-down with a red nylon rope. His powerful body moves like a contortionist to avoid the interlocking laser matrix as he's lowered toward the display case. A thin tube slides down his arm. A liquid drops onto the glass and HISSES as it flows in rivulets down the side. Bobby takes a hammer, covers the crystal with a cloth and taps it gently. CRACK. Bobby carefully pries a piece away. He reaches in, plucks a JADE ARTIFACT from its pedestal. CU - THE ARTIFACT THE CHAI TAO...a piece of jade carved into part of a Chinese ideogram. MATCH DISSOLVE CU - COMPUTER A 3D rendering of the JADE PIECE rotates. Text windows appear connecting it to historical references...T'ang Dynasty. INT. ASSISTANT CURATOR'S OFFICE - SAME TIME STEVE Van Buren studies his computer. He's 29, smart and confident. He studies a hologram of the SAME JADE ARTIFACT. Using a voice-recognition computer, he tries to fit it and TWO OTHER SHAPES into a complete CHINESE PUZZLE; the CHAI TAO. He's also on the phone. STEVE ...ROTATE LEFT 10. Yeah Dad, I know what time it is but I thought you'd like to know. The piece we just put on display, I think I found out what it really is. Something even more interesting! Yeah! The CHAI TAO! Well, according to legend it was created by YAMA, the God of Hell. It's the key to unearthly power. CU COMPUTER SCREEN The 3D model, breaks into three pieces, two phantom pieces rendered in wire-frame, the museum's piece in full color. STEVE It disappeared...around 580 AD. Rumored to be separated into THREE PIECES, each piece held by certain moral humans for safety. No, it's not the complete Chai Tao, but it sure looks like one of the pieces! ANGLE - SURVEILLANCE MONITOR - OVER SHOULDER One security camera is picking up Bobby Wang, but Steve doesn't notice. STEVE TILT Z AXIS BACK TEN. What? I don't know. Priceless! ZOOM IN 20. I found it in the Fung collection. Maybe old man Fung was a secret sorcerer. Well, of course not, but that's what they believe... What? Of course it'll be here in the morning, but it's so exciting I just thought you'd like to know. No? Really? INT. GALLERY - BOBBY He slowly slips the JADE from the case, puts it in his pocket but as he does, he dislodges the hammer. It drops from his pocket, hits the glass with a PING. The glass shatters and falls, cutting the laser beams. ALARM! Bobby screams a command into a throat mike. BOBBY Heur-La! Fi-dee! Heur-La! HEUR-LA! (Go! Now! Go go go!) Giou La! (Let's get out of here!) INT. ASSISTANT CURATOR'S' OFFICE - SAME TIME Steve's engrossed in the puzzle when ALARMS BLAST. STEVE What's that? It's nothing... Just the alarm. (suddenly realizes) Look, I gotta go! Bye Dad! (slams down the phone.) Damn! He leaps up, runs out. EXT. HERITAGE MUSEUM - ANOTHER FLAME LORD YEE, an Asian-American kid in black jacket and headset pops the clutch of a Ninja Cycle, ROARS off. ZOOM IN AND HOLD ON THE CYCLE Tied to the back pommel is the red rope. As he rockets away, the taut rope whips by. ON THE ROOF A pulley in a tripod spins madly...as INT. MUSEUM BOBBY is rocketed straight up and out. EXT. THE ROOF Bobby FLIES into the arms of Flame Lords. They grab his gear, stuff it into packs. They tie the rope to the tripod, hook onto it and drop off the roof. FLAME LORDS - TRAVELING They powerslide down the rope and drop to the lawn, hitting with a rolling tumble that brings them up to their bikes. Yee leaps off the ninja cycle as Bobby vaults right into the seat. WIDE ANGLE The Lords take off. Still roped to the tripod, Bobby guns it. EXT. ROOF The tripod SNAPS FREE, LEAPS off the roof. EXT. GROUND The tripod hits and tumbles, dragged by the Cycle. ANGLE BOBBY - TRAVELING He roars by as GUARDS run out screaming into radios. The tripod tumbles across the lawn. STEVE runs out, sees the Flame Lords roar by. A ROAR. He turns. STEVE'S POV A ROARING CYCLE bears down on him. Bobby grins maniacally. Steve DARTS left. The CYCLE darts LEFT. STEVE darts RIGHT. The CYCLE leans RIGHT STEVE feints LEFT, dives RIGHT, just as ... The CYCLE ROARS BY... ripping his clothes as he rolls. Bobby rights the Ninja, laughing back at Steve. Steve goes tumbling. He rolls and flips onto his feet, about to give chase when he notices the rope whipping at his feet. He turns. The tripod tumbles straight at him. He dives to the side, lands in a fountain. He comes up spewing water. EXT. MUSEUM FRONT GATE COP CARS pull up, SIRENS WAILING, LIGHTS FLASHING, blocking the exit. THE CYCLE - TRAVELING Bobby whips out a sword. With one swipe he parts the rope. He rockets up the front hood of a cop car and launches over it, Cops tumble away. They hop back in just as... THE TRIPOD tumbles up and smashes into the cars, wedging them. CU - FLAME LORDS - TRAVELING - OVER TITLES Five young men and women of mixed ethnic types, mostly Asian-Americans in leather jackets with Red Dragons. They wear red head bands with Chinese characters. The cycles sport dragon pennants. They're neon streaks as they ROAR by. EXT. SAN FRANCISCO - CHINATOWN More cops join the chase and close in. The FLAME LORDS slam into LITTLE CHINA, swerve around blind corners, boots kicking sparks. They roar up a culvert. Cop cars appear at the top. Lords swerve, pull up, surrounded. The Lords gun their choppers up a ramp into an alley which turns into a luge tube. They rocket down out of sight. In a flash they are gone. In Little China they are invincible, protected by an invisible architecture of secret ramps, tunnels and bridges. Two cops run up, find them vanished, scratch their heads in disbelief. TITLE MONTAGE A mix of stills, animation and live action. Modern San Francisco is contrasted to the past. Modern Chinatown: Martial Arts and modern bustle is SUPERED over ancient images of China: shrines, architecture, scrolls of misty landscapes and mystic images... Ancient gods are intercut against characters from "Big Trouble". Classical Chinese music is heard in modern arrangements. A quick recap of action from "Big Trouble in Little China", for those who care, is transparent to those new to the genre. END PROLOGUE ACT ONE EXT. STREETS OF LITTLE CHINA - NEXT MORNING Steve and CLARENCE JAMES, a bearish, black SFPD Detective, walk though Chinatown. Steve's upset. He's also stressed out and exasperated. Clarence grins and waves to merchants. He is known and liked in Little China despite the fact that he helps himself to the goods. He takes a fresh lichee nut from a fruit stand, nods to the grocer, pops it into his mouth. STEVE Listen, I already told this to the guys downtown. CLARENCE Indulge me. Tell me again. Try one of these, they're great. Thanks Lu! LU Have a nice day, Sergeant. Take some for the precinct. He does. He stuffs them in his pocket. STEVE I haven't had any sleep! The grocer offers another fruit. LU Insomnia?! Ah... Lo quats! CLARENCE Good for the blood. Thanks Lu. STEVE You believe that? CLARENCE Listen, kid. There are really two Chinatowns. Most people only know of one of them. The one you don't know is a mess 'a mystery. You know, wizards, demons...magic, that kind of stuff. STEVE You don't believe that. CLARENCE It's bull. But they believe. It affects how they behave. STEVE Like breaking into a museum, you mean? CLARENCE Yeah. Red and Black dragons, huh? That'd be Flame Lords. Any Blue and green cycles? STEVE No. Why? Who would that be? CLARENCE White Hearts, rival gang. You know about the Flame Lords? STEVE I've heard of them. CLARENCE They work for Chi Lung. A real charmer. Extortion, smuggling, white slavery... Nothing we can pin on him yet. STEVE And the White Hearts? CLARENCE Run by Egg Shen, another local character. STEVE Egg Shen? Isn't he some sort of martial arts master? CLARENCE Oh, he's got lots of interests ...tour bus company...a curio shop. He's also supposed to be involved in the occult. Steve turns to him, curiously. STEVE The occult? CLARENCE It's Chinatown, pal. Some of our guys come outta there babbling about demons, magic potions and stuff. STEVE Really? Egg Shen...huh? CLARENCE This stuff may sound silly to us, but it's very real to them. It can bite you. STEVE It doesn't sound silly to me. Clarence looks at him curiously. CLARENCE The older Chinese still believe in this magic. Chi Lung and the Flame Lords take advantage of that. Gives them power. There was big trouble here a few years ago. Some truck driver wandered in, got himself shanghaied by devils ... at least that's what he said. Some people claim it was magic. Personally, I think the boys got ahold of too much saki. But it raised a hell of a stink downtown. STEVE They kidnapped him? CLARENCE He was lucky to get out alive. Claimed they tried to kill him. STEVE You think they'd kill someone over these...ancient beliefs? CLARENCE Yeah. I think they will. Now why don't you just let us handle it. STEVE I have to get the jade back. CLARENCE Why? Who the hell are you, Sergeant Preston of the Yukon? STEVE I'm...I'm interested in this. I...I was born in Xi'an. I been studying this all my life. If this jade is what I think it is, your troubles are just beginning. Now can we get on with trying to find it?! CLARENCE Why's this jade thing so important? What's it worth? STEVE If it's what I think it is, it could open a window to the distant past...the earliest Chinese culture and beliefs. CLARENCE No. I mean in money. You know, ...street value... STEVE Well...uh...actually... kind of ...priceless. CLARENCE Insured? STEVE I..uh...I was getting around to that. Hey! There! He points to the street corner. EXT. GRANT STREET In the crowd, Yee, the Flame Lord. He spots Steve, turns and takes off, slipping into the crowd. STEVE Flame Lord! One of the thieves! Clarence looks up from helping himself to a Chinese pastry. He sees Steve bolt, turns, slams into a delivery boy. Chow Fun flies all over the street. They go down, tangled up. CLARENCE Wait! Hey, wait! But Steve's off and running. Clarence struggles up but Steve's already gone, disappearing into the crowd. STEVE - TRAVELING Zipping in and out of the crowd, bumping tourists. He runs up a street stuffed lined with shops for herbal medicines, food, tourist goods. Ahead, a glimpse. The Flame Lord's headband disappears around a corner. STEVE broken field running through the crowd, over trash cans, around barriers. He turns the corner and finds himself in... EXT. KUNG ALLEY ...a QUIET, DESERTED SIDE STREET off the tourist track, lined with the dim windows of small shops. But the Flame Lord has disappeared. STEVE'S POV A Pacific Power truck is parked in front of a SMALL CURIO SHOP. A boom is extended and a worker is affixing a power line to the building. BRAD, a youth in a hard hat, sets out barricades, yells to his partner in the boom basket. Steve notices the partner, a pretty Asian-American woman. KIM CHAN, 22, wears a t-shirt and jeans. She cannot hide her beauty under a hard hat and as she leans out of her basket to wrestle with the power lines, Steve is drawn to stare. Brad's a body builder with a Gold's Gym T-shirt and a Forrest Gump/Fast Times at Ridgemont High demeanor. He has the hots for Kim but they're co-workers. There's an underlying sexual tension as he controls her basket height. KIM Down a little. Up a touch.. Down. There, that's good. BRAD It's great. ANGLE KIM She's very pretty, lithe and strong. She leans over her pod attaching wires, glances down at Brad grinning up at her. KIM Don't start with me, Brad. Try to be professional for once. ANGLE BRAD He glowers, mumbles to himself. BRAD What the hell am I supposed to do, work with my eyes closed? STEVE Excuse me. See a guy in a red headband come through here? Steve's standing on a power cable. Brad moves him back. BRAD Excuse me, pal. Don't stand there, please. We've got hot stuff up there. STEVE Yeah, I see. Kim leans over, straining her t-shirt. She's very sexy. BRAD The wires, I mean. STEVE Yeah, the wires. Brad looks up at Kim impatiently. BRAD Think you'll get that tied off before the Year of the Weasel is over and the Year of the Banana Slug begins? STEVE Actually, it's the Year of the Pig. BRAD The Pig. Oh. Good. KIM Hey Brad, it's your year. BRAD Yah, funny. (to Steve) Well, it's gonna be the year of the fat lip if you don't get off my cable. (he coils cable, mumbling to himself) I'm in the truck with her all day. It's driving me nuts. (notices Steve's still there) Something I can do for you? STEVE A kid. About twenty. Red Headband. Black and red jacket. Flame Lord. BRAD I didn't see nothing. 'Specially no Flame Lord. STEVE How about an antique shop. BRAD This whole neighborhood is one big antique shop. STEVE I'm looking for Egg Shen's. He shows Brad his map. Brad studies it, glances up. BRAD You're in luck, pal. You're here. He points at the sign EGG SHEN ANTIQUITIES hidden by Kim's basket. Steve looks around. He senses eyes watching him. Then, a shout! KIM Hey! You gonna get those ties or what? They look up at the impatient girl hanging over the basket. BRAD Keep your shirt on! (sees her stiffen, hands the map back) Damn! I'm a diabetic in a candy shop! Grumbling, he turns, slams open the truck doors, WHANG! Kim glances down at Steve. Their eyes meet for an instant, then she turns back to her work. Steve turns to the CURIO SHOP, stares in the window. INT. EGG SHEN ANTIQUITES SHOP - STEVE'S POV It's dark. Nooks and crannies are stuffed with Oriental curiosities. The window sports pieces of jade. STEVE (to himself; surprise, wonder) Min din yuk...Burma jade...Ayee yaaa! The shopkeeper, an old but tough Chinese, EGG SHEN, looks up from his antiquities and stares back. He comes to the front and looks out. Steve excitedly indicates the jade. STEVE Is that goo yuk, that sun shan yuk? (antique jade, new jade) EGG SHEN Who are you, Bok gwei? EXT. SHOP - STEVE He's unsure. It seems that Egg Shen is looking past him toward KIM...up on the boom. He's polishing something. STEVE Ngor hai gai dook shu. (I'm a student, an acolyte. Ngor man nee see gow. (I need your advice.) I seek wisdom. CU - EGG SHEN'S HANDS He polishes a jade piece. It's similar to the museum piece, but not identical. ANGLE - STEVE Steve focuses in on it. He can't quite see. He's about to make a move toward the shop when he sees a reflection in the glass. He turns. ACROSS THE STREET Yee stares at him, tapping ninja-sticks in his palm... From other corners other Flame Lords appear. SFX - BOOMING CYCLE ENGINES. Flame Lord choppers turn a corner and ROAR up. The Lords pull up, REVVING their choppers. One kicks over a barrier. It slams into Brad's truck with a LOUD BOOM! Brad rockets out of the truck holding his head and SCREAMING. BRAD Hey! What the hell!? Bobby Wang just laughs at him. Brad stops dead in his tracks. Two other Flame Lords move up grinning and swinging ninja sticks. One says something demeaning in a Dialect. Others laugh, snicker, move to surround Brad. He backs away. ANGLE - CURIO SHOP Flame Lords run past. An ancient Chinese nimbly darts out of their way. But Steve doesn't move fast enough. A Lord slams into him, knocks him down. KIM looks down. KIM'S POV Brad is quickly surrounded, threatened. THE STREET Bobby and the Lords move at Brad, enjoying his growing fear. While others move on Steve... BOBBY Goo Gee! La! Say Liang Jye! (Be careful, jerk) A FIGURE DROPS into the confrontation; KIM. The Lords jump back, see a pretty girl, move forward. Kim glares them down. KIM Bo Woo Ah! Jye...! (Get ready, stupid) What she says inflames the Lords. One moves on her. Brad grabs her, pulls her back. BRAD Kim, are you nuts? They're Flame Lords. KIM I don't care! They are scum... KER DEY HAI GEU!!! (They are pigs!) She's angry, not intimidated. She snaps a kick that brushes the Lord's nose, snaps his head back. He stumbles back. Kim takes a stand. The Lords surround her, mumbling threats. STEVE Why don't you leave her alone? They stop, turn. A single Anglo glares. Steve gets up. BOBBY Why would we do that? STEVE You're bothering her. He turns on Steve...threatening. Moves up into his space, into his face, grins evilly. BOBBY It's our job. We're Flame Lords. STEVE I know who you are. BOBBY And I know who you are. STEVE Yeah, I think we have run into each other. Listen, I want to talk to you. BOBBY About what? STEVE The jade you stole from the Heritage Museum. The Lords stiffen, look to Bobby Wang. Bobby moves forward. BOBBY Cop? STEVE Assistant Curator. A beat... Bobby starts giggling. BOBBY Oh....worse. Very Scary. The Lords snicker, then snap into a menacing stance. Steve takes a defensive martial-arts stance. They stop and look at his moves. Then they laugh. BOBBY No, no, no. It's like this. He snaps into a very serious stance; deadly, practiced, agressive. The other Flame Lords also click into exaggerated poses. They put on a demonstration of much better moves. Superfast fighting, flying, tumbling. Bobby finishes with a tumbling, whipping combo that catches Steve by surprise, sends him into a pile of garbage. BOBBY You should leave Little China, BOK GWEI! (white ghost/Anglo) Steve jumps to his feet. Bobby moves toward him. they mix it up. Steve is surprisingly good. They exchange quick combos. DA-LA, Saw Jye! (Go ahead, fight, stupids!) They turn. KIM is moving into an attack stance. Yee goes for her. In a quick, surprising combo, Kim flips, tumbles, kicks, punches and sends Yee through the window of CHEE FUN LAUNDRY. He stumbles out, covered in dry cleaning. Bobby laughs. BOBBY Nei gum lyang! You're beautiful! KIM Nei gum aie! You're short. BOBBY (he laughs delightedly) You're angry. (swings onto his chopper) ...I...like that. Get on. KIM Get lost. He likes that, too. He's about to mess with her more when he HEARS SIRENS SCREAM UP! BOBBY Yeah, not a bad idea. To create a diversion, Bobby breaks the Curio Shop window and sets off the ALARM! A quick, unexpected blow sends Steve into the garbage again. Bobby turns to Kim. BOBBY I'll see you again. KIM (sarcastic) I'll lie awake nights. He laughs, nods to the Flame Lords. ANGLES -THE FLAME LORDS smash windows up and down the street. Shopkeepers run out screaming, then see who it is and slip back inside. EGG SHEN rushes out of his shop. EGG SHEN Flame Lords!!! (they hesitate) Nei gall guy! You're off limits! A beat...then Bobby steps up to him. BOBBY Hey, old man, what kind of gang would we be if we obeyed the rules? EGG SHEN Nei you jow! Leave. Now! BOBBY A demand, old man? He makes a strange move, half-shadow boxing, half martial arts. A portentious gesture that means something to Bobby. EGG SHEN A strong suggestion. BOBBY I bow to your wisdom. A nod. A Lord makes a sudden move. Egg glances around the deserted alley, then makes a furtive move: the shopkeeper claps his hands. A FLASH! The Flame Lord tumbles down the street, slams into other Lords, bringing them down in a heap. Egg makes another gesture, a MUMBLED INCANTATION. Suddenly, the Lords seem to be under some force, some type of mind control. They seem compelled. Bobby sees this, then hops on his cycle, gives Egg a mock salute, pops the clutch, SCREECHES away. Lords vanish into the woodwork. ANGLE - KIM AND BRAD Brad's awestruck at Kim's fighting skills. BRAD Geez, Kim! Where'd you learn to do that? KIM Women's support group. She walks up to Steve, lying in the garbage, picking fish heads out of his hair. Kim stands over him, hands on hips. KIM Thanks for your help. STEVE Don't mention it. KIM But you shouldn't interfere. Not here. STEVE Sorry. Thought you were in trouble. Obviously, a mistake. KIM (she studies him) The Flame Lords are dangerous. You better leave Little China. STEVE What about you? KIM I work here. Anyway...they'll leave me alone. STEVE Yeah, so I see. Hey... He looks around. In the confusion, Egg has disappeared. STEVE The old man. Did you see that? KIM See what? STEVE Flame shot out of his hand. KIM You're crazy. He sees Egg inside his shop, grabs Kim's arm, moves quickly. INT. EGG'S ANTIQUITIES SHOP Steve enters, bringing Kim, invading Egg's space. STEVE I saw it! Flame. KIM Static electricity. STEVE Knocked that guy all the way down the street? KIM What are you saying? STEVE I....I'm not sure. She looks him up and down, then notices Egg. He's collecting jade pieces from the smashed display window. They approach. He looks up, notices their interest, hands Kim a jade piece. EGG SHEN Jade...magical. The only gemstone that changes color when you touch it. It reacts to body temperature, chemistry ...some say...to the person himself. Or herself. He studies the jade. It's turned lighter in Kim's hand. Egg seems to see something. EGG SHEN It's not wise to stand against the Flame Lords. KIM I can take care of myself. EGG SHEN Yes, I observed. I am impressed. Egg smiles at Kim, slips into the back of his store. Kim and Steve look at each other for an awkward moment. KIM You're lucky you're in one piece. STEVE Yeah, I'm feeling luckier...by the moment. (he moves in) You're from Guangdong. KIM I'm from Alameda. STEVE You're parents, then... southern Canton. KIM How can you tell? STEVE Your Cantonese...has a provincial dipthong. Que Ling? KIM You're close. STEVE Really!? KIM Yeah. They're from Oakland. Dad's a systems analyst at Rockedyne. I'm as American as Charlie Chan. STEVE But you speak Cantonese. KIM I yell it. That's about the extent of it...except for some curses on your ancestors. SIRENS and LIGHTS up ahead. Cop cars SCREECH. Glass BREAKING, cars CRASHING! BRAD runs in. BRAD Come on, Kim. My contract specifically states I don't have to work during earthquakes, atomic attacks, or civil disturbances. She glances curiously at Steve. So does Brad. KIM Well...Gotta go. STEVE Joy Geen. (goodbye) KIM Yeah. See ya around. EXT. SHOP - THE TRUCK Brad hops in, starts it up. Kim gets in the passenger seat. Steve follows, closes the door for her. KIM And you, bok gwey? STEVE I'm not a white ghost. KIM No, what are you then? STEVE A student. A ...collector. KIM Of what? STEVE Beautiful things. A beat. A moment between them. Imperceptibly, she smiles. BOBBY Gotta go! He lets out the clutch. STEVE Wait! BRAD Later! Kim stares at Steve as Brad pulls away. A CLATTER. Steve turns as Egg pulls down metal shutters on the shop. STEVE Wait! I want to talk to you. EGG SHEN Can't talk now. STEVE Why not? EGG SHEN Busy. Too busy. I have a tour. He nods toward a colorful TOUR BUS. STEVE A tour, good. I'm a student of Chinese culture myself. EGG SHEN I'm busy...very busy. STEVE We need to talk about this. Steve holds up a picture of the stolen jade. Egg reacts. He slips back inside the shop. INT. SHOP Egg pulls down the metal shutters, draws the shades, turns the "CLOSED" sign, locks the door. STEVE I'm Steve Van Duren. EGG SHEN (skeptical) Curator of the Heritage Museum? STEVE That's my father. I'm Steve Junior. Assistant Curator. EGG SHEN And your father, the famous scholar...put this... on public display? STEVE Ah... no. I did that! EGG SHEN You! Why? STEVE Well...it's...you must know... it's part of the Chai Tao. Isn't it. It's a key...sort of ....a Rosetta Stone... EGG SHEN Really! And where exactly is...this Rosetta Stone? STEVE Stolen. Last night. By those guys. EGG SHEN The Flame Lords! STEVE Yes. EGG SHEN Oh, I see. Well, Junior...what would your father say about ambition going before a secure security system. STEVE I was working on that. EGG SHEN What do you know about this Chai Tao? STEVE Lots. I was...I was in Xi'an when Li Toa found the Emperor's tomb. EGG SHEN You? STEVE Yes. EGG SHEN How old were you? STEVE Well...I was three. But I remember my father talking about it. And I've been researching it ever since. Egg pushes him out the door. EXT. STREET. They walk up to a gaily painted tour bus. EGG SHEN Ahhh...all you young pups. You are all the same. You remind me of Kok Leong. He's just like you. STEVE How so? EGG SHEN Impatient. STEVE I've been studying this subject for nineteen years! EGG SHEN And you are still not ready. Otherwise, you wouldn't be in this mess, would you? STEVE I want to be ready. I want to learn from you. But I also have this. Steve hands him the picture. Egg studies it closely. EGG SHEN Get on bus. (Steve jumps on. Egg stops him.) But first buy ticket! Steve fumbles in his pocket as Eggs eyes fall to... CU - PICTURE OF THE STOLEN JADE It's very similar to Egg's piece. EGG SHEN Saw Jai...what have you done! END ACT ONE ACT TWO CU - THE STOLEN JADE PIECE EXT./INT. CHI LUNG'S WAREHOUSE - A FORTRESS HEADQUARTERS Chi Lung admires the stolen JADE as Bobby looks on proudly. Chi is ancient, powerful and dressed like a mandarin. His room's furnished in exquisite art. He's evil, but with a quirky, Alan Rickman/Jeremy Irons sense of humor. Bobby's attitude has changed. He's uneasy before this powerful sorcerer. Chi rules by intimidation. BOBBY So...what's it worth, Boss? Why's this thing so important to you, anyway? CHI LUNG (very scary, threatening) Oh, you are interested in the secrets of my power? BOBBY Ahhh...no. No. Not really. Just curious, that's all. CHI LUNG You wouldn't think of questioning my authority... BOBBY Me? NOoooo.... CHI LUNG Your loyalty to me is... BOBBY ...uh..UNquestioned...Totally! CHI LUNG You were a lowly street hood and I made you... BOBBY Leader of the Flame Lords, your magnificence, and I am deeply grateful. It's just... well, we have expenses... gas, rope...tolls for the bridge... CHI LUNG (angry) Money! You want money?! From me! Bobby notes the frenzy with which Chi makes certain incantations. He notices Chi's entranced by the stolen jade. BOBBY Ah...no, never mind. You seem a little...out of sorts, Boss. Is anything wrong? CHI LUNG (looks up from the jade, snaps) Oh, no. Everything's...peachy. BOBBY You seem kind of... CHI LUNG Irritable? BOBBY You, Boss! Irritable? Oh, no! A FORCE BEAM shoots from Chi's palm, impales Bobby and lifts him by the throat, levitating him, choking... BOBBY Oh, no. Nope. It's really clear. Wow, Boss, impressive! You can let me down. Very... very wonderful powers you have. Very... powerful power. I mean, how do you do all this neat stuff, anyway? (Chi turns away. Bobby slams to the floor.) Oooof! CHI LUNG Oh, you know. The usual. Pact with the devil. Knowledge that is power and all that. But as usual and very disturbing to me...with certain...provisos. (calls up images. Chinese ideograms appear. I've studied the ancient texts. BOBBY The ones you had me steal. CHI LUNG Borrow. Short term loan. They've revealed the CHAI TAO! The SECRET MAGICAL ARTIFACT that will give me ultimate earthly power. Bobby takes it. BOBBY That?... Chi snatches it back. With a wave he banishes all aides except Bobby. The others withdraw. The lights dim. A spot highlights just Chi and the jade. CHI LUNG ONE of the THREE PIECES separated by YAMA, to prevent their power from falling into... BOBBY (helpfully) Evil hands. Chi glares daggers at him. CHI LUNG Well, when I have the complete Chai Tao, it won't matter, will it? He pulls a SECOND PIECE from his robe and holds them close. An unearthly GONG RINGS. Bobby staggers, holding his ears. BOBBY What the hell is that! CHI LUNG Yes. As a matter of fact, it is. BOBBY What? CHI LUNG Time to complete the bargain. The clock now starts. We have 12 hours from the time the TWO PIECES are combined ...to find and take possession of the THIRD. BOBBY Or what? Wait a minute...Or what?! Chi brings the two pieces together. CHI LUNG Yen Lo, Servant of Yama. I summon thee! A THUNDERCLAP! Bobby grabs his ears and cowers. Chi looks down with disdain. And unearthly HOWL. The statues SHUDDER! BOBBY Yen who? Servant of What?! CHI LUNG Oh, one of the lords of Hell. BOBBY Hell. Real Hell?! CHI LUNG Yes, of course. BOBBY Of course!? Boss, you been dipping into the Bok Fun again? CHI LUNG (threatening roar) You brought me the power of the Chai Tao! You do believe in what we're trying to do? Chi threatens. Bobby quakes. BOBBY Yes sir...of course! Power is good...more power...just what we need. It's just... what's all this about...Hell? He notices with fear the changes taking place in the room. CHI LUNG Pay attention! Pact with the devil. We have two pieces of the Chai, we get the third piece within 12 hours...no problem. In fact. I will rule hell. BOBBY Helloooo! You'll forgive me ...Wise One, but why would anybody make a deal like that? I mean, actually want to go to Hell? CHI LUNG Conversation's better. Lot of the deep thinkers are there. I really don't mind, it's just that I hadn't planned on going for... say...several hundred more years. BOBBY grows uneasy as... BOBBY'S POV Statues around the room are changing, coming alive. CHI LUNG Besides I'm sure there's a loophole...somewhere. (glances at Bobby) Something bothering you? BOBBY Uhh...Nothing..No... except ...maybe...well, if I didn't know better, I'd swear that (points to a gargoyle) is...coming...to life! (suddenly wants to depart) Listen, don't pay me now. I'll just put it on your tab. Chi places the JADE PIECES on an altar. They emanate power. A RUMBLING HOWL FROM HELL! Gargoyles move. Terrified, Bobby snatches ONE OF THE JADE PIECES, holds it up before him like a protective talisman. Chi is outraged. CHI LUNG What are you doing, you fool! BOBBY You never mentioned the part about Hell. CHI LUNG Must've slipped my mind. BOBBY If this has power, maybe it'll protect me. CHI LUNG Give me that, you twit! (Bobby shrinks back) Don't worry. You're with me! BOBBY Yeah sure! The guy about to go to Hell. Great! Look, I want protection! CHI LUNG Dammit! Careful what you wish for! But Bobby's demand triggers a change. The jade GLOWS. He drops it, burning his hand. Chi snaps it up, hides it in the folds of his robe. The room RUMBLES! Walls EXPLODE! In a burst of radiance, Yen Lo arrives. And he is pissed! The PROCESS SERVER FROM HELL confronts Chi. YEN LO is big and scary as Jack Palance on a bad hair day. He's dressed in blue robes, a conical hat, with a silver serpent embroidered on his chest. He looms over the others, intimidating... YEN LO Who commands me? CHI LUNG I, Chi Lung, have summoned you, Yen Lo, servant of Yama! He scoops up the SECOND JADE PIECE from the floor and shows it to him. Yen is shocked. CHI LUNG By this piece of the Chai Tao I lay claim to the throne. YEN LO You...have violated the rules! CHI LUNG Violated. No. I don't think so. No no, I don't believe I have. Certain provisions are, of course, open to legal interpretation. YEN LO Don't anger me, Chi Lung! I'm from Hell. We have plenty lawyers. You have violated the agreement and let me see... (A flaming ledger appears) Your record doesn't look so good. CHI LUNG Oh? How so? YEN LO Rape. Pillage. Extortion. Usury. White Slavery. Murder. CHI LUNG Now, I believe those are all permitted...under Codicil B... YEN LO ...Loan sharking, tax evasion, arson, kidnapping, sedition. You tear tags off mattresses. And you never curb your dogs. CHI LUNG This is a deal with the devil. Those things are permitted. Encouraged, even! I do them myself. I instigate them in others. How else would you maintain your recruiting volume? YEN LO Yes. These are minor things. But you have committed the most serious crime. You've tried to get control of the CHAI TAO. So, I demand that you, Chi Lung, accompany me to...JUDGEMENT. Now! A BLAST OF THUNDER and LIGHTNING underscores his demand. The smoke clears. Chi just stands there, unimpressed. CHI LUNG No reason for you to get so high and mighty. You ARE, after all, from Hell. Chi Lung snatches THE JADE from the Altar and fits it with the SECOND PIECE he whips out from beneath his robe. A FLASH! Yen Lo is blown back into a dragon throne. The dragons come alive, snake around and hold him fast. CHI LUNG You've grown careless, Yen. I have not one...but two! I now make my claim over the Lords of Hell, and when YOU help me get the THIRD AND FINAL PIECE, I will rule the earth as well! Yen Lo struggles mightily but the combined power of the two artifacts traps him, holds him on the throne. Bobby's awed. BOBBY You have the power? You can hold him there? YEN LO Not for long, Chi Lung. The judges have been summoned. BOBBY Judges, what judges? CHI LUNG Oh, the ones from Hell. Now, I really NEED the third piece. YEN LO You have just twelve hours! BOBBY Then what? YEN LO All Hell breaks loose. Chi waves...Thunder! Lightning! Flames and smoke break out. The room ROCKS under the evil spell. END ACT TWO ACT TWO INT. CHI LUNG'S FORTRESS - MOMENTS LATER Bobby studies Yen Lo raging within the dragons' grip. BOBBY Is he okay there? CHI LUNG Well, if he escapes my control, he's going to be rather cross with you! BOBBY Me?! (Chi nods) Well, who's got the other piece? How do we get it? Chi grins down at Yen. CHI LUNG You wouldn't care to tell? (Yen Lo flips him the Chinese Bird.) Egg Shen, perhaps? BOBBY The good wizard? CHI LUNG Good wizard? Good wizard? Oh, he likes to call himself that. Truth is, it's all about power. I've known for years, Egg has the THIRD PIECE. But I didn't dare move until some fool found the SECOND piece and put it on display in a museum!... BOBBY Egg's tough. How do we get the piece away from him? CHI LUNG My plan is simple. In a word... Trouble. Big Trouble. BOBBY That's two words. CHI LUNG (turns and bellows!) Flame Lords! Doors burst open. Flame Lords rush in. They fall into ranks at stiff attention. Chi Lung struts before them like Patton. CHI LUNG (to Bobby) You give him a message. Unless he surrenders the final Chai Tao, Little China will be reduced to..to...Egg Foo Yung! (turns to the ranks) Flame Lords...Out! Out! Begone! Be BAD! Cause Trouble! He claps. The Lords RUSH OUT for a spree of destruction. STREETS OF LITTLE CHINA - SAME TIME A GAILY PAINTED TOURIST BUS rumbles down Grant Street. INT. BUS EGG SHEN lectures on Little China. The bus is painted in Chinese motifs finished in red lacquer. Egg looks down the streets, into alleys. He's distracted and lecturing half- heartedly. Steve sits nearby and questions, much to Egg's annoyance, and to the mystification of the tourists. EGG SHEN ...No. Chinese men were brought over to work on the railroads. Women followed later but the first generations never really assimilated... STEVE Yeah, they brought their own beliefs, their mystical priests, their magic. EGG SHEN Not true. Actually insulting to Chinese. There are, of course, no such things as demons, sorcery or magic ...within the Chinese scheme of beliefs. Chinese are very rational, law-abiding... STEVE What about the Tong wars? At this, Egg swerves the bus over to the curb in front of a tea shop, opens the door, turns to the few tourist riders. EGG SHEN Rest stop. Five minutes. You go shop. Very good tea. They pile off. Egg turns to Steve, serious, now. EGG SHEN The Tong wars? STEVE Forty-three people killed. In disputes over drugs, white slavery... gang warfare... EGG SHEN Err, that was a long time ago. STEVE And there is no power in the Chai Tao... EGG SHEN Chai...no. That is just myth. Steve shows him a photo of the stolen jade again. EGG SHEN Where did you get it? STEVE I found it. ...by accident... ...in the vault. EGG SHEN You did? STEVE In the Fung collection. EGG SHEN Fung was a guardian!? I knew it! STEVE A guardian? What's that? EGG SHEN Nothing. Never mind. (to himself) If the Flame Lords have it, then Chi Lung has it. That is very bad. STEVE Yes, if you believe in the power of the Chai Tao. EGG SHEN (dismissive) Oh, that is just an old story, an old wives' tale. Steve shows him the COMPUTER RENDERING OF THE Chai Tao piece with the two missing pieces rendered in WIRE FRAME. STEVE Whoever stole the piece is likely to have one of these other pieces. That would give him power...would it not?... your friend Chi Lung? Egg blanches. EGG SHEN He would never dare! (catches himself) Anyway...it's all rumors, all myth. STEVE Maybe, but if it isn't, you might be in danger. Why don't you let me help you? EGG SHEN No...no. You do not need to get involved. Thank you. Nothing personal... STEVE Everything's personal... EXT. STREET The tourists get back on the bus clutching packages as... A LION DANCE approaches...Tumbling kids, streaming banners, Music and gongs. A golden paper Dragon-Lion weaves down the street dancing, leaping, blocking traffic, blocking the bus as the tourists climb back aboard and take seats. One lady proudly shows off a souvenir. ALMA Look Ida. A piece of the great wall. Steve looks askance... STEVE The great wall...really! You sent them there, Egg. You're a fraud! EGG SHEN Look. If you really had a piece of the great wall would you sell it to a woman in an "Elvis Lives" T-shirt. STEVE And you speak pretty good English. Why do you talk like Charlie Chan in front of the tourists? EGG SHEN It's what they expect. All part of the experience. STEVE You give them what they want to see. And hide the real Chinatown...the magic. EGG SHEN One does what one has to do to get by. And to carry out one's responsibilites. Steve notices a picture of a Chinese kid taped to the dash. STEVE And you must pass those responsibilities on to a new generation...Who's this? EGG SHEN Yo Ling. My Son. STEVE The next...guardian? EGG (shakes his head sadly) He's developing condos in Miami Beach. Not so easy to find respect for the old ways in the new generation. Too many distractions. ANGLE - BACK OF THE BUS Two midwestern tourists, ALMA and IDA look at the passing parade, fascinated, clicking their Kodaks. The kid in the lion head leaps on another's shoulders. He shakes and roars. IDA Oh look, Alma, a Lion Dance. Isn't that cute... The Lion leaps at the window. She raises her camera. The lion's mouth opens. She snaps a nice Close-Up of a fearsome FLAME LORD. He SCREAMS at her. FLAME LORD Ng ho ying sheung! Bok gwei! (Don't take photos, White Ghost!) He smashes the window and grins madly. IDA She's gone rigid, too shocked to scream. Her companion hasn't seen a thing. She turns to her. ALMA What was that, Ida? Then she notices Ida's face and the grinning Flame Lord. She...SCREAMS! Steve turns. The tourists sit terrified, as the lion dancers smash into the bus. STEVE So there's no current gang activity? EGG SHEN In Chinatown? Of course not. Just as Egg says it, more Flame Lords burst from an alley and sweep up the street, creating chaos. They overturn trashcans, knock over cyclists. They leap at the bus, run up the sides, dance on the roof. Tourists SCREAM! Doors burst open. Flame Lords fly in. EGG SHEN It's nothing. Don't be alarmed. Just a Lion Dance. All part of the show. BOBBY Oh no, Egg. (smashes a window) A message from Chi Lung. EGG SHEN Flame Lords! Begone! You cannot do this! BOBBY Wrong. This is just a start. You have something Chi Lung wants. And until he gets it, we take what we want. Egg slams it into gear, pops the clutch, sending Flame Lords tumbling. Bobby's up, hopping over tourists. He leaps for Egg. They struggle. Bobby yanks the wheel. The bus crashes into a car. Passengers tumble. FLame Lords come forward. Steve again takes a martial arts stance. They laugh, then stop laughing and advance toward him. BOBBY No. You still ain't got it. Look. It's like this. He snaps into a Martial Arts stance. They surround Steve. Egg Shen moves up, takes a stance next to Steve. He's old, but something about him says 'don't mess with me.' EGG SHEN Bok Sum! White Hearts! It's a call to arm. It echoes through... EXT. LITTLE CHINA All along Grant Street, Street Lights in the form of CHINESE LANTERNS GLOW...They PULSE BRIGHTLY...A MESSAGE. MONTAGE - ALL OVER CHINATOWN Kids note the flickering lanterns. They slip into alleys, storefronts, parked cars. They re-emerge wearing white jackets with blue and green trim and matching headbands. They are...THE WHITE HEARTS. INT. THE BUS Bobby moves on Egg, stalking, feinting attacks. BOBBY Give up the jade! SUDDENLY - The White Hearts appear and engage the Flame Lords. The leader's a good-looking youth; JACKSON CHIN. He moves and fights so fast, he's a blur, like seeing double. That's why he's called "DOUBLE" CHIN. All over the street, in the bus, on the bus...White Hearts fight the Flame Lords to a standstill. Then they drive them back. Then SIRENS, POLICE. Suddenly, the Flame Lords' position is untenable. Steve faces off against Bobby, but Bobby gives a sign...a challenge. BOBBY We will meet again. STEVE I'm looking forward to it. The Lords leap out the door, chased by the White Hearts. In a wink, they're all gone. Egg Shen slumps. The bus driver has an injured shoulder. He tries to turn the wheel but can't. He winces in pain. Steve pulls him out from behind the wheel, drags him to a seat. EGG SHEN What are you doing? STEVE Just helping out. EGG SHEN No, thank you. STEVE Don't worry. It'll be fine. In the back, some tourists are terrified. TOURIST 1 What was that?!! Some are irate. TOURIST 2 What about our tour? TOURIST 3 Yeah! We paid for a tour. Steve glances at Egg Shen. He has a pained look on his face. STEVE Sorry folks, tour's over. TOURIST 1 At least get us back to our hotel. They look at Egg Shen. He hesitates. STEVE Look, I can drive. More or less. Whadaya got to lose? He slips into the driver's seat, starts up, grinding gears. EGG SHEN Hey kid! STEVE What? EGG SHEN Ever driven a bus before? STEVE Hey, how hard can it be? CRASH! Steve looks outside. STEVE That car was already damaged. It shouldn't count against me. BOOOMM! He rips off the side of a parked car. TOURIST 2 Oh, you can let us out here. STEVE Don't be silly. It's nothing. No trouble at all. Steve tries to pull out, but the tourists clamber off the bus, leaving him with Egg. STEVE Wait. I didn't get to tell you about the Chai Tao. Unlimited earthly power. And you all know how much fun that can be. EGG SHEN Be silent. (to the tourists) Don't believe a word of this. It's all fantasy. Egg slams the door, cutting Steve off. He turns to him. EGG SHEN How do you know such things? STEVE PHd. Asian Studies. Berkeley. EGG SHEN Oh...book learning! STEVE In the twenty seventh century A.D., in the Hsia (Sha) period of Mythical Sages, the Court of Xuang Wa was overrun by horsemen from the north. The Imperial Wizard, Fu Hsi, inventor of the eight trigrams, sacrificed the most beautiful maidens in the Three Kingdoms to the Hell God, Yama, Keeper of the Gate...in return for a secret power to keep the Barbarians at bay. This power was contained in, and focussed by, the Chai Tao. As you know. A beat. Egg's impressed, but dismissive. EGG SHEN Ahh...yes. Very good. But you know nothing about the real Chinatown. STEVE Because I'm not Chinese? EGG SHEN No. Because you are a Saw jai! (young fool) STEVE If I am a Saw jai, you are a Lo Saw See Fool! (foolish old man) I am offering you help and you need help. You could teach me. I'd help you out. We could team up. EGG SHEN No. I don't need your help. A BLAST OF THUNDER. LIGHTNING FLASHES, clouds let go. STEVE Looks like you may need all the help you can get. INT. CHI LUNG'S FORTRESS - SAME TIME ANGRY DISCHARGES SPARK around Chi Lung as he glares at the Flame Lords straggling in...and at Bobby, empty-handed. CHI LUNG The Jade?! (Bobby shrugs helplessly) What about Egg Shen? BOBBY He has what you might call, a bad attitude. CHI LUNG So?!!! BOBBY There were White Hearts, and cops...and some pain-in-the- butt Anglo guy. CHI LUNG Excuses! I ask for the Chai Tao. You bring me excuses! CHI LUNG (CON') Yes...I see... The only way to control people is through fear. And what people fear most are the Demons from Hell. And, of course, the IRS. Therefore, I have captured this demon Yen Lo and bent him to my will. Through him, other demons will be summoned and you, my Flame Lords ... will have the honor...to serve as their willing vessels. There's muttering in the ranks. Chi turns to them, fixes them with his glare. FLAME LORD 1 Willing vessels, Geez, your worship... I don't know. CHI LUNG You will have more power than you ever dreamed of. FLAME LORD 2 But my Lord, I... I mean... if they...if they inhabit our bodies, what happens to us? FLAME LORD 1 Yeah, what if we're not willing? Chi's grin freezes. He levels a scary killer stare at the miscreant. Then he claps his hands. Flame Lord One bursts into flame, burns fiercely, turns to ash. A moment of stunned silence. The other Lords get the point. FLAME LORD 2 Demons. That's not so bad. Chi turns to Yen Lo, SCREAMS! CHI LUNG You paying attention? Demons! Yen Lo steams with anger. He resists. YEN LO You know the price? Chi waves his objection away. CHI LUNG Yes, of course, virgins. Standard price? One virgin for each demon. I so demand! YEN LO Very well. You asked for it. Demons! Day Die Gwei Lei La! (Hell God, come to me!) He claps his hands. Around him Demons coalesce, swirl and stream out, up, into.. INT. THRONE ROOM One by one the Flame Lords are possessed. Their eyes glow with fire, their tongues turn black, steam comes out of their ears. They do a crazy, hip-hop demon dance. CHI LUNG Now...that's the spirit! Bobby notices that he himself hasn't changed. BOBBY Hey Boss. What about me? CHI LUNG Mindless slaves are only so useful. Your loyalty is unquestioned. Right?! BOBBY Oh, absolutely your worshipfulness. CHI LUNG Good. Glad to have you on board. Now...think TROUBLE!!! He makes a magical wave. EXT. STREETS OF SAN FRANCISCO Above Little China, clouds roll in, thunder and spiked lightning...a Chinese Walpurgisnacht. END ACT THREE ACT FOUR EXT. DOWNTOWN SAN FRANCISCO The storm cloud seems to hang directly over Chinatown like another dimension of darkness, rain and mystery. Egg's bus zooms by the China Gate. A police car pulls out and follows. INT. POLICE CAR. Clarence guns it, grabs the radio mike, calls in. CLARENCE Unit Twelve. I've got Egg at the China Gate. I'm going in. Something's happening in Little China. I want back up! EXT. CHINA GATE The bus zips through but Clarence, following closely, seems to hit a magical barrier. The GATE BULGES IN AND SNAPS BACK. The car stalls. Clarence is out, tries to run through the BARRIER but is thrown back as if bounced off a trampoline. EXT. CHINATOWN STREETS The PACIFIC POWER truck weaves through a downpour. INT. TRUCK. Kim and BRAD, wrestle their truck through the wet streets. BRAD Jeez, look at that! Looks like it's hanging right over Little China. Maybe we should get help. KIM Pull yourself together, Brad. EXT. EGG'S STREET - ANTIQUE SHOP Egg's bus pulls into the Egg's Antiquities Shop garage. INT. GARAGE Egg hops out and scurries off, distracted. Steve is suddenly left alone. But what he sees amazes him. Everywhere he looks, books, artifacts, objets d'art...it's a curator's wet dream. The back of the store is a maze, a rabbit's warren of boxes and shelves piled to the ceiling with (cheap props). STEVE Wow! Look at this stuff. Shen! Mr. Egg! The Yut Lick Tung Sing! The Chinese almanac; the T'ang codex. Mr. Egg, can I have a word with you? Steve walks through the maze to the front of the shop, fascinated. It too is filled with ancient, weird Chinese things...dusty books, artifacts, curios of all types. Then he looks up. The shop's been trashed! STEVE Geeez! Egg...somebody's been here. And looking for something...looks like... Egg pushes him out the door. EGG SHEN Thank you. Goodbye. STEVE Goodbye?! No. Wait... you can't do that! (Egg turns back...) I have some questions. But Egg's distracted. He looks out at the gathering storm and moves around the shop muttering to himself and gathering up old dusty jars filled with strange powders and liquids. EGG SHEN No. It's dangerous. Too dangerous. You must go. Egg shoos him out and closes the shop. END OF EGG'S STREET Kim and Brad pull up in spooky darkness and flickering power lines. One sparking line is attached to Egg's shop. BRAD Jeez. It's dark! KIM And it's our job to turn on the lights. Come on. She hops out but Brad is reluctant. EXT. STREET Electricity crackles from downed powerlines. All business, Kim slips on a hardhat, a climbing belt. She gracefully and powerfully scales the pole. Brad is spooked. BRAD Kim...be careful. KIM Cut the power, Brad. Brad opens up a manhole and slips down to cut the circuit. EXT. EGG'S ANTIQUE SHOP Steve stands outside in the rain. Egg Shen can't believe it. He goes to the door, arms full of magical elements, jars, powders, potions...He's exasperated. EGG SHEN What do you think you're doing? STEVE Admit it. You're testing me. EGG SHEN Worse. I'm ignoring you. STEVE I saw it on Kung Fu. All the other students ran off when it rained. Grasshopper stayed where he was. EGG SHEN Grasshopper was an ACTOR! He was the STAR of the show! In real life, we look for intelligence. Egg slams the door. Steve looks at us. It's not supposed to go this way. He stands dripping in the rain. The door opens. EGG SHEN Am I supposed to be impressed by someone too dumb to get out of the rain? STEVE Confucious says, "The journey of a thousand miles starts with one step." EGG SHEN Confucius also said, 'Get Lost!' He slams the door. STEVE That part must've been lost in translation. He jumps at a particularly vicious crash of lightning. EXT. LITTLE CHINA STREETS - MONTAGE The lightning strikes the tops of buildings and ripples along the eaves like St. Elmo's Fire. INT. FORTUNE COOKIE FACTORY A DEMON LORD slams a crank. The cookie machine goes into overdrive. Cookies fly out like tiny frisbees, tattoo the room. Cooks flee screaming as cookies whiz by their heads. EXT. GRANT STREET - SFX - RAPID DINGING! A CABLE CAR SCREAMS around a turn, roars up the track, tourists screaming, hanging on for dear life as WE ZOOM into the driver, a DEMONIC LORD WAILING, FUR FLYING IN THE WIND and ringing the bell like Buddy Rich on the drums. INT. THE FORTRESS THRONE ROOM - SAME TIME More demons stand around scratching and chafing at the bit. Bobby stares at Chi's face. It's changed, become more evil. A CLAP OF LIGHTNING. Bobby snaps to. Chi Lung glowers. CHI LUNG Virgins. BOBBY What? CHI LUNG Find me 13 beautiful virgins! BOBBY In San Francisco? Chi glares daggers at him, snaps his fingers. Bobby's hair glows. Flames dance about his face. He's terrified. BOBBY Virgins. Right! Good idea. Much prefer them, myself. CHI LUNG Virgins are critical. BOBBY Well, they are certainly nice. CHI LUNG They are payment for the demons. And they will also amuse the judges until I can consolidate my power. BOBBY Yeah, virgins'll do that. But Bobby's becoming disillusioned. He notices a new transformation in Chi. His features have distorted. BOBBY Are you okay, Wise One? CHI LUNG Never better. What is it? BOBBY Oh, nothing...just...well you're becoming a little... Chi's changing, becoming more demon than man, scaring Bobby. CHI LUNG It's nothing....Hormone imbalance. It makes me very... (Boom! A beam SHOOTS from his hands, levitates Bobby by a terrible grip on his throat.) ...irritable. Now get those virgins while I make special arrangements for Egg Shen. Demons...BEGONE! Bobby and the remaining demons rush out. Chi turns to Yen. CHI LUNG And you...will accompany me. MONTAGE - LITTLE CHINA The Demon Lords fan out through Chinatown, yanking poor helpless girls away from their screaming, frightened families. They hold their demon features under cloaks and hats...in shadow, barely but scarily glimpsed. EXT. GRANT STREET The Flame Lords run up to a family. One grabs a pretty girl. FATHER What are you doing? BOBBY Special party. Virgin Night at Chi Lung's. Come. GIRL No.... But they tear her away from her screaming parents, run off. FONG STREET Lords spot another pretty young girl. They rush up pushing bystanders aside. BOBBY She is a virgin? MOTHER (aghast, insulted) Of course! BOBBY Special Party at Chi Lung's. He grabs the girl. Her father moves to stop them. BOBBY No. invitation only. They knock him down, turn to another girl, cowering... YEE Virgin? She looks at her mom and dad... MEI LI Errr. Yes. A demon Lord turns back to her, Bobby. BOBBY Mei Li? MEI LI Bobby Wong! BOBBY A virgin? She looks sheepishly from him back and forth to her parents. MEI LI Yes, of course. A demon grabs her but Bobby surreptitiously shakes his head. The girl's released. Bobby takes her back to her parents. Her mother glares at her. She looks sheepish, puts her head down, embarrassed. The demon ROARS, runs off, Bobby grins, waves goodbye to Mei Li, leaving her parents trembling. EXT. KIM'S POWER POLE Kim's on the power line in insulated boots and gloves, searching for the source of the outage. She looks around. KIM I just fixed this thing... Strange. Only Little China seems affected. A bolt of lightning strikes nearby. INT. MANHOLE BRAD Kim, Come down! It's too dangerous! ON THE POLE KIM I'm perfectly sa... Another bolt ripples down the building eaves, hits the pole, knocks Kim off her perch. She dangles by her safety strap, stunned. EXT. GRANT STREET - BELOW THE POWER POLE Steve rushes up, sees Kim dangling. INT. MANHOLE Brad calls her on the intercom but gets no answer. Curious. BRAD Kim, Kim. Are you alright? THE POLE She's stunned, hanging in her straps. Steve's climbing up. He reaches her, unhooks her, takes her in his arms just as rampaging Demon Flame Lords appear. KIM Brad? STEVE Steve. KIM Steve? STEVE Bok Gwei. KIM Oh...you. THE STREET A Flame Lord drops into the manhole. INT. MANHOLE The demon knocks Brad aside, starts crossing circuits. Terrified, Brad scrambles out of there. MONTAGE - ALL OVER CHINATOWN signs explode, bulbs vaporize. Flashes...then darkness, except for the glow from the Flame Lords' eyes. EXT. EGG'S ANTIQUITES SHOP - ANGLE EGG Egg sees the Flame Lord Demons rush past. EGG SHEN White Hearts! MONTAGE - ALL OVER CHINATOWN Chinese lantern street lights PULSE BRIGHTLY. Kids note the call, slip into alleys, storefronts, emerge as WHITE HEARTS. ON THE POLE Steve holds the stunned Kim, about to drop down when he sees the FLAME LORDS standing below. Bobby grins up at him. STEVE Get away from us. Leave us alone. BOBBY Or what? He makes a mocking martial arts gesture. Just then, THE WHITE HEARTS appear. They mix it up with the Lords but cannot defeat these Kung-Fu Demons from Hell. Steve carries Kim to the ground. The fight swirls around them. He carries her past Egg, into the shop to safety. ANGLE EGG He directs the White Hearts with gestures. YEN LO Your time is up, old man. He turns as the LOOMING, POWERFULLY DEMONIC figure appears. EGG SHEN Yen Lo! A tangle of battling Flame Lords obscures him for a moment, Egg turns away, runs into his shop. INT. EGG'S ANTIQUITES SHOP Egg enters. Yen Lo is there, waiting. His eyes glower. Then Chi Lung appears beside him in a burst of flame. CHI LUNG Tell him, Yen Lo. YEN LO I said...your time is up. (a long disgusted pause) Chi Lung has so decreed. EGG SHEN (furious) Chi Lung?! Chi Lung cannot decree anything! Chi Lung is not the Lord of Hell. He notices Chi Lung off to the side glaring imperiously. CHI LUNG Not yet! YEN LO Chi's got part of the Chai Tao. I must do his bidding. Part of the job I don't like. Chi glowers. Yen Lo moves around the shop, examining a dusty book here, an artifact there. He passes Steve and the semi-consious Kim, hiding behind a desk. Steve pulls back to avoid being seen but glances around the desk, fascinated... ANGLE - YEN His frown deepens, then he breaks, shrugs, winks at Egg. He's demonically charming. He and Egg are old acquaintances; veterans of the magic wars. But they keep their eyes on each other...and on Chi Lung. Egg looks at Yen curiously. EGG SHEN You are not happy in your work, Yen Lo. YEN LO Ah..it's a mission from hell. (Egg raises his eyebrow) Well...Chi Lung. Just as bad. EGG SHEN What's he on about now? YEN LO Ah...that usual, rule-the-world stuff. EGG SHEN He's such a low see jye! (old jerk) YEN LO Yes, I know. CHI LUNG (shouts from across room) Tell him! Tell Egg Shen I've got TWO pieces of the Chai. EGG SHEN Two?!! YEN LO Yes. Now, will you come along? EGG SHEN Where? YEN LO Ah, he wants to force you, torture you, that sort of thing. You know how he is. EGG SHEN Yah, love to. Actually, I've got this dentist appointment.. Egg slides toward his shelf...toward ancient potions. Yen moves to keep Egg's hands in sight. Egg stalls... EGG SHEN How could you let demons out? YEN LO You ever really read the rules? EGG SHEN Yeah, but... YEN LO So you know what the deal is. CHI LUNG Yes! Tell him! Tell him I've got TWO parts of the puzzle. (Yen Lo just glares at Chi.) Tell him if I don't get the THIRD PIECE right now I will reduce Chinatown to rubble! EGG SHEN (turns to Yen Lo) You know what's really at stake here? CHI LUNG (interrupting, baiting Egg) Ah...unslavement of all living creatures, the end of the Fin Syn rule. The demise of civilization as we know it? Egg slips his hands toward his potions, but Chi spots the move. A MAGICAL CHARGE from Chi Lung blows them out of his reach. Egg turns on Chi...moves into fighting position. EGG SHEN It's been a long time, Chi. CHI LUNG Yes it has, Egg. Egg grins, goes on guard. They circle. Yen drops his hand like a referee. In a flash, Egg and Chi are mixing it, full contact, full speed. Kicks, flips, twisters. Evenly matched, fast as a blur. They fight. EXT. WINDOW Steve moves out to see. He cannot believe his eyes. A FLASH. Chi's got his jade out. A FORCE BEAM BURSTS from it, but Egg ducks, meets the beam with his own. He flips, kicks the jade out of Chi's hand. The two pieces fly apart. One piece flies to Yen who catches it. Chi scurries after the other piece, grabs it. But Egg's in full control of his power. His beam blasts Chi, blows him right through the window, hanging for dear life onto his piece of the jade. Yen, holding his piece, is also sucked into the vortex...and follows Chi out. Steve is caught in the vortex by the powerful force... He grabs a lightpole as he is whipped by, clings to it for a beat....then is WHIPPED AWAY... END ACT FOUR HOUR BREAK ACT FIVE EXT. SHOP Steve's being sucked away in the VORTEX. STEVE Egg! Egg looks up. A quick wave. The wind dies. Unsupported, Steve SCREAMS as he plunges down into...the pile of trash. STEVE Stunned for a beat, then he picks himself up, sees Chi and Yen rocketed up, out of sight. Inside the shop, Egg calmly straightens his clothes. Steve turns. The crash has attracted attention. Bobby and two demonic Lords reach for him. He pops up, runs for the store, but they cut him off. Brad ROARS up in the truck, knocking them aside. Using the truck as a barrier, Brad follows Steve into the store. Steve slams down the shutters. BANG! Demons HOWL outside. INT. SHOP Kim is stumbling around, holding her head. Steve catches her. STEVE Did you see that? KIM What? STEVE Those guys. They burst out of here and he...just phfft! like that...straight into the air. Kim just stares at him, foggily. But Steve is concentrating. He goes to a reference book Egg's left fallen open on the shelf. He flips through rapidly searching...finding... STEVE Wait a minute I know that guy! That was.. (finds an ancient picture... an imposing figure in conical hat, robe and silver chest serpent) ...Yen Lo! Servant of Yama... You know who that is? KIM You...are one strange Anglo. Steve looks up, suddenly realizes... STEVE Where's Egg? They turn around. No Egg Shen. The store seems deserted and half destroyed in the fight. But Steve sees a glimmer of light, a wisp of vapor from behind a shelf. STEVE Yama, the Chai Tao. Have you ever heard of Dai dei... Chinese Hell? KIM I know all about Hell. STEVE No, I mean...the ten levels? KIM Oh, yeah. Myths... Stories my grandmother used to tell. Steve studies the wall, then pulls open a Buddha to reveal a passageway into a maze of boxes and shelf-lined corridors. STEVE Myths huh. KIM Yeah, Myths. STEVE Well...let's see... Gestures toward the dark passage. A pause. KIM Sure. Why not? They step through leaving Brad. Outside, demons howl. He doesn't want to be left there. He steps through. THE MAZE It's dark and spooky. Dimly seen shapes. Brad tags along a confused, scared look on his face. Kim and Steve creep scrunched together, arguing. KIM (scornful, skeptical) Sorcerers, guys flying through the air..ten levels of Hell... BRAD What ten levels? Ten levels of what? What's he talking about? KIM Ancient superstitions. In the first level you're put before the 'Mirror of Retribution'. Your sins determine your form on reincarnation. STEVE So, a lazy soul might come back as an ox. She stops. KIM That's what Grandma Hong used to say... She looks at him with interest as he rattles on. But he's searching through the boxes, examining objects and seems to be following some unseen intellectual or spiritual trail... STEVE In the second court, the gossiper has his tongue pierced. The glutton is starved, the thief has to kneel on steel granules. KIM (getting interested) Yeah, I know...the irreligious are sawn to pieces, the wicked are boiled in a cauldron. BRAD Whew! And I thought Catholicism was tough! STEVE It gets worse. In the Third Court of Justice, the disrespectful have their hearts, eyes and livers torn out. In the Fourth, sinful are thrown into a river. Liars get split lips. BRAD Anybody ever tell you you're a lotta fun? Where are we, anyway? STEVE The Fifth is where cheaters have their hearts torn out with hooks. BRAD Hooks? STEVE Hooks. In the Sixth, thieves are gnawed by rats. In the Seventh, torn apart by dogs. In the Eighth, run over, made to swallow burning oil...their skulls smashed. You do remember? Kim is getting intrigued...despite herself. Suddenly, it's a weird mantra...as if she's seducing him. KIM Yeah, and in the Ninth Court druggies are attacked by snakes and dismembered. STEVE And in the Tenth court final judgement is passed. Kim and Steve. A moment. A look. Interest. Brad's oblivious. BRAD Whew! And you believe all this. I mean is all this real? Then the mood breaks. Kim is her rational self again. KIM As real as a little man flying through the... She gapes at what she sees up ahead. KIM'S POV Egg Shen is in a cul-de-sac surrounded by his magical implements. He is in a trance and levitated a few inches off the floor. He smiles at her. Behind him THE THIRD CHAI TAO JADE glows softly in an altar, emanating a glowing pulse... INSIDE CHI LUNG'S FORTRESS HQ - SAME TIME Yen Lo CRASHES through a skylight. Unsteadily he gets to his feet, straightens his robes, dusts off his piece of jade. YEN LO I hate when that happens! He looks around. Chi Lung now in control of his jade piece glides down to the floor, glaring furiously, his Flame Lords nearby. He snatches the SECOND JADE PIECE from Yen Lo and fits them back together. Yen Lo glances at him, then over his shoulder. He snaps to attention. A JUDGE stands there; A judge from the COURTS OF HELL. And he's glaring at Yen Lo. YEN LO First Judge! Your Honor! The judge looks at him distastefully. JUDGE So? What's all this? YEN LO He's got two pieces of the Chai Tao. JUDGE So you're legally bound. You must do his bidding. YEN LO I was trying to. CHI LUNG I sent him out for a wizard. We're back. No wizard! YEN LO It's not just any wizard. It's Egg Shen. CHI LUNG (mimicking Yen Lo) It's Egg Shen, it's Egg Shen. (furious) I want him! And his jade. YEN LO That's not so easy. JUDGE You're a Court Officer...a Demon of the Court. YEN LO Egg's still got part of the puzzle. So it's an even fight. CHI LUNG Even? Egg and Me? YEN LO Yes. Because he isn't a say liang jye (jerk) like you! CHI LUNG You dare to insult me?! In my seat of power?! JUDGE Okay, you two. I've heard enough. I've made a judgement. (moves to Yen Lo.) I'm sorry, oh Great One, and I use that term sincerely...But you are held by the power of the Chai Tao. If you are unable to perform your duties by the next rising of the sun, we will be forced to appoint Chi Lung the new overlord of Hell; Pro Tempore. I don't like it, but you are legally bound. I cannot interfere. He disappears in a blue flash. At a gesture from Chi, Yen Lo is sucked to the dragon chair. Dragons snake around him. YEN LO No. Wait! Stop......Very well, your wish, Chi Lung? CHI LUNG You will bring Egg Shen to me. With the jade! More Demon Lords surround Yen. He angrily salutes, is gone. INT. BACK OF EGG'S SHOP - THE MAZE - SAME TIME Egg lowers himself to the floor, turns to his visitors. Steve is fascinated, Kim's skeptical, Brad's terrified. STEVE What's happened, Egg Shen? EGG SHEN Some idiot uncovered a piece of the Chai Tao and put it on display in a museum! STEVE Oh. EGG SHEN Now Chi Lung's got it. He's also got just a few hours to get my piece or go to Hell. STEVE What'll he do? EGG SHEN I don't know. He's desperate. (turns to his work) Leave me now. BRAD What a good idea! STEVE Why don't you trust me? I just want to help. EGG SHEN (sarcastic) You've helped sufficiently, thank you. (a beat) You just want to learn the magic. STEVE That too. EGG SHEN It will not work unless your heart is true. Egg takes the jade, slips away...It's so fast, for a moment they don't realize he's gone. They Steve runs to catch up. BRAD Okaaaay! That pretty much leaves us out of the picture. Let's go. He tries to lead Kim off. She doesn't move. KIM No. Wait. BRAD Wait! For what? KIM Nothing. I'm...I'm curious, that's all. BRAD You don't believe in... KIM Magic, myths, legends... No. She runs after Egg and Steve. Brad brings up the rear. Kim finds Steve. Egg scurries on ahead. Steve has stopped to study an object. STEVE Chu'an do! I don't believe it! KIM Another holy object? STEVE Ancient surgical instrument. These people...your people were doing open heart surgery four centuries before Christ. At least...I think they were. I can't really prove it. KIM Why are you so interested? STEVE (dreamily) I...was born in Shaanxi Provence. The first image I can remember is of the ancient quarter...the temples...the Gum Lung ceremony. KIM The first image I remember is The Flintstones. That breaks the spell. STEVE Don't you wonder...? I mean, we're so modern..so arrogant ... but we have no idea of the beauty of the ancient ways... of what was lost over time. Of what the real powers are... KIM You mean my grandma's myths... STEVE Yeah. Myths. Even China isn't China anymore. There's a Burger King across from the Forbidden City. Only in certain areas...well hidden... do the ancient mysteries live. They have a moment. Steve turns. Brad's there, frowning. BRAD Can we get on with this. I'm hungry. For me, lunch is an ancient mystery. Kim glances at Steve. STEVE The magic has left China. But I think it's here...in Little China. This jade...it's the key...proof of the existance of the ancient beliefs. Kim smiles, glances at Brad, then slips away. INT. STORE Egg's busy. With mental powers alone, he repairs objects broken in the fight. Pieces fly onto shelves, broken pottery reassembles itself. Kim's stumbles in. Her mouth drops open. KIM Was that...? Egg putters around, combining ingredients into spheres. EGG SHEN Magic?...Perhaps. KIM You don't expect me to believe that? EGG SHEN No. As the community becomes more Americanized, these mysteries fall into disuse, disrespect ...disbelief. STEVE You know what I think? That the wise ones permit the secrets to fall into myth. The less the public knows the better. But it's also their prime mission to evaluate and test promising young people. EGG SHEN Yes...it's a constant struggle to keep the ancient beliefs alive yet secret...and to find young people with the moral character to become guardians of the CHAI TAO. He looks intently at Kim. She turns away. Egg looks pensive. STEVE What do you say, old man? Egg considers then reaches around his neck. The CHAI TAO piece dangles from a gold chain. Egg takes off his necklace, steps forward. Steve grins and reaches for it but Egg presents it to KIM. KIM What's this? Kim looks at it. The colors ripple in her hand. EGG SHEN It... is meant for you. KIM It's beautiful...but... EGG SHEN If you are going to act so recklessly you must carry it at all times. KIM No, I can't... EGG SHEN You must!... (He's overstated something, backs off, to save face.) Please... Steve slips in next to her. STEVE Take the piece. Take it. KIM What's it to you? He says nothing. Kim knows something's going on, but doesn't know quite what. And the piece is very beautiful. Egg grins. KIM Well, okay. Thank you. EGG SHEN No. Thank you. Egg smiles enigmatically, slips away. Kim and Steve look at each other and the jade for an awkward moment, then follow.. KIM Why are you looking at me? I'm American, not Asian. I want nothing to do with the old ways. STEVE You study martial arts. KIM For self-defense. STEVE The jade? KIM It's pretty but magic powers? She shakes her head. STEVE You deny it? Even when you see mystical things? KIM What ....mystical things. (She holds up a Chinese tourist gimcrack.) Magic, is that what you think? STEVE I believe it's magic... I also believe...it's real. KIM Sorcerers, demons? It's fantasy! STEVE But you saw Egg... KIM Ah...the light was bad. STEVE Then how do you explain this... He tries a trick. He rubs his hands, mumbles incantations, spreads his palms. A flash. He staggers back. She looks contemptuous. Then Egg is back, smiling...at Steve. STEVE I almost had it down. KIM That's it? The magic? You're going to go up against... "sorcerers"...with that? Egg steps forward...holding ancient texts. EGG SHEN He thinks he knows everything. Egg makes a quick move, a glowing lotus blossoms appears, then dissolves into golden mist. STEVE How'd you do that? EGG SHEN You know the thing up here? (indicates his head) You must know it down here. (his heart) STEVE But I do. EGG SHEN You think...you have the gift? STEVE Yes. Steve makes the same kind of gesture. A blossom starts to appear. Then dissolves in a poof! Egg is slightly impressed. STEVE See. You believe me? EGG SHEN No. But I do need all the help I can get. (He smiles. He's kidding. He likes to rag Steve.) Come. We must prepare. He zips through the maze, grabbing a vial here, a lacquer box there. Steve hops to follow. EGG SHEN Lung quat; Dragon Bones. Fut show; Buddha's Hand. Mow ngon; Cat's Eye...And...tiger bile. Tannis blossom. Lichee tea. STEVE Tea? EGG SHEN Replaces electrolytes lost fighting demons. Some mandrake root...corn starch for body. Now mix it up. Steve mixes it. Egg drinks. A TRANSFORMATION! He's no longer a wizened old man, but a powerful wizard. He turns to Kim. KIM Don't look at me like that, old man. He offers the potion. She ignores it. Steve sneaks a sip. EGG SHEN You deny your heritage? KIM My heritage? Subservience to men...to the old ways? EGG SHEN Ahhhh...yes. You are overly rational. Not a common failing among women. KIM (irritated) Thank you. Steve just smiles at her...he feels a strange potion power. A lotus blossom appears in his hand. It throws her off... KIM Who are you to tell me about Chinese mysticism? STEVE I study. I'm interested. Do I have to be Chinese? He turns to face Egg Shen...Egg hesitates, then is forced... EGG SHEN A worthy pupil is a worthy pupil. STEVE And that worthy one...is one who believes. Steve spreads his hands. A faint charge flickers between his palms. Egg's intrigued. He points to a glowing incense coal on his altar to his ancestors. . EGG SHEN If one really believed...one could pick it up in his bare hands ...that is, if one is truly worthy. STEVE And if not? EGG SHEN Oh, it'll burn the hell out of you. You must have faith. And a comprehensive health plan. Egg looks at Steve critically, gauging his reaction. Steve picks up the fiery ember. Egg's intrigued. Steve glances at Kim, loses concentration, cries out, drops the coal. EGG SHEN Of course, hot coals are a problem for those with short attention spans. Egg picks up the coal, pops it into his mouth, swallows it. He burps discreetly. A small flame bursts from his mouth. EGG SHEN Excuse me. See, not just faith but heart. Otherwise all you'll wind up with is heartburn. Steve stares wide-eyed at Shen, at the blazing coals. Egg turns away...a whispered aside. EGG SHEN Anybody seen my bromide? Kim starts to say something but he winks at her. It's a joke. He moves over and opens the shutters. The demons are long gone. The street is deserted. Brad senses the attraction between Steve and Kim. BRAD Come on. KIM What? BRAD We gotta go. KIM Go? BRAD This is not our fight...or whatever it is...I mean, we have a job to do. And they're calling us. We gotta go in. She looks at Steve. STEVE Oh, that's okay. I'll stay and fight alone. Kim turns, hesitates. KIM Alone? You two against all the forces of Hell? STEVE That's alright. We can handle it. KIM You couldn't handle a Kung Fu move last time I looked. STEVE Thanks for your concern. Bye. KIM You don't think you need help? You don't think he does? BRAD Come on. They don't need you. KIM They need...something. They just won't admit it. BRAD Yeah, well, what can you do? A beat as she considers. KIM Stay. You go. BRAD Go? Where am I gonna go? You're my partner, right? KIM Right. BRAD Even when you're wrong, right? KIM Like now, you mean? BRAD Right. I must be out of my mind, but there's one thing I do know... There is no such thing as demons and magic. Just then, a GIANT FLAME BALL bounds up the street and bursts through the windows. Out of the flame a Demonic Chi Lung appears. He waves his arms. The flaming ball roars at them. Steve steps in front of Brad and Kim and catches it in his hands. He SCREAMS, his hands FLAME. CHI LUNG Yes, Does it burn and sizzle?! STEVE No. I like to do this. CHI LUNG Give me the Chai or... The FLAMES ROAR. So does Steve. EGG Mind over matter. Mind over matter! STEVE Do you mind? It's my matter. KIM Help him! EGG SHEN You must treat the bad magic with contempt. (turns to Kim) You must also believe... KIM Me? EGG SHEN It couldn't hurt. (to Steve) Relate it to something real. STEVE Something real? The last time I was holding a ball of fire. Let's see...that Kung Pao chicken in Beijing. It was my birthday. I made a wish. EGG SHEN Make it now. You can do it! STEVE I can't. KIM Make a wish. This gets him. A look determination crosses his face. Steve stares at his hands burning fiercely. He takes a deep breath and blows with all his might. The flame flickers out. Chi Lung's gone. Egg's pleasantly surprised. EGG SHEN Very good, grasshopper. KIM What did you wish for? STEVE Train set. Same as always. EGG SHEN Well, whatever it was, it worked. I'm proud of you. STEVE You mean that? EGG SHEN Yeah, proud as any inscrutable person can be. There may be hope for you two yet. KIM What are you talking about? EGG SHEN Yin and Yang. Man and woman. Each incomplete without the other. But when they come together, BAM! (He punctuates with a tiny explosion.) You are not one of us, but... you have something. Here...the ancient texts. Maybe if you two work together... STEVE I don't know if that's possible. But at Egg's gesture the walls open up to reveal a LABORATORY with potions, flasks, mortars and pestles. EGG SHEN You've heard of Aladdin's lamp. Well, same thing. The holder of the complete Chai can ask a wish. It must be granted. Chi will ask to rule. BRAD So? What the hell? KIM Yeah, if it's Hell who cares? EGG SHEN Well, you know Chi. He who rules hell can screw up everything! KIM/BRAD Ohhhhhh.... Steve's in the back, beside himself with excitement. He runs his hands over the books. Then he notices movement from the nooks and crannies. They've been surrounded by figures. The White Hearts appear. Double Chin looks alert, on guard. EGG SHEN It's okay, they're with us. Double relaxes a touch...studies Kim, Brad, Steve. DOUBLE CHIN Egg, we need help. The Lords are grabbing young women and tearing up the city. EGG SHEN So, why is this night different from any other? DOUBLE CHIN It's something odd..They don't seem quite...well...human. Suddenly, there's a ruckus outside. EXT. GRANT STREET Flame Lords rush up the street, leading virgins. Citizens try to fight back, but they are no match for the Flame Lords. One girl pulls away, runs to Egg's window. She cries for help, but a Demon Lord pulls her away. EGG SHEN They aren't. Chi Lung has turned them into demons. OUTSIDE - MORE SCREAMS! DOUBLE CHIN White Hearts. Come On! The White Hearts show why they're not called White Brains. They rush out. Kim follows... EGG SHEN No. Wait! Wait for the magic! He just doesn't listen...Come on! Egg frantically stuffs spheres in a pouch. EXT. STREETS - NIGHT The demons rush the virgins ahead. The White Hearts chase, followed by Kim, then Brad and Steve. Egg brings up the rear lugging the pouch. BLIND ALLEY The Flame Lords rush in and disappear. The White Hearts follow...then look around...uneasy. DOUBLE CHIN They're gone. What do we do? BOBBY Prepare to Die! A MAGICAL IMAGE SHIFT (OR A CHEAP DISSOLVE) The empty alley is filled with demons demonstrating demonic powers, nasty weapons and bad attitudes. They surround and move in to attack. The Hearts are rushed from all sides. EGG SHEN rushes up with his pouch of magic. He rolls the spheres at the Lords...They burst like holy shrapnel. KIM AND BRAD fight valiantly, twisting, kicking, leaping. Even Double is impressed. But the Demonic Lords are too much. The White Hearts are driven back. A RUSH. The Demons focus on Kim, grab her and drag her off. Brad lunges for her, but comes up with just the JADE NECKLACE. A Flame Lord tumbles him into a corner. EGG battles madly, but there are too many. They rush him. He disappears in a pile of writhing demons. His pouch drops. The spheres tumble out. STEVE makes a grab for the last of the exploding spheres. It rolls towards a sewer grating... Steve dives for the sphere. Just as it drops into the sewer, he intercepts it, tosses it blindly in the Flame Lords' direction. It EXPLODES! ALLEY - MOMENTS LATER The dust clears. The demons are gone. So are Egg and Kim. Steve helps Brad up and notices the necklace. CU - THE JADE It glows and throbs powerfully. ANGLE - STEVE AND BRAD They are entranced, then they look up...then they notice. STEVE/BRAD My God! Where's Kim?! END OF ACT FIVE ACT SIX EXT. LITTLE CHINA - ALLEY - NIGHT Steve and Brad pick themselves up. The alley is deserted and as it was before. No sign of magic. They walk off quickly into the dark, spooky night. Brad is freaking out! BRAD Cheeshhh!, truck's trashed. Kim's gone. Hey, those were some scary demons! Demons! My god! STEVE They took Egg. We gotta find him. BRAD I'd tell you to go to hell, but I think we're already there. STEVE What about Kim? BRAD Yeah, Kim... I hope she's alright. Hey, how am I gonna explain this to the company? STEVE Do you understand? they kidnapped Kim! BRAD Yeah, Boy, I hope those demons know what they're doing. They get on the wrong side of her, they'll wish they'd never been born...or whatever demons are. They turn into another blind alley and stop. Too late. STEVE You wonder why they took them and not us? BRAD Should we be insulted? STEVE It must be the jade. BRAD What jade? You mean this? Steve reaches for the jade just as Flame Lords drop. One snatches the jade from Brad and holds it up triumphantly. Steve snatches it from the demon and runs. A CHASE Through alleys, tunnels, passages. Steve scampers ahead. The jade holds them off, throwing up weird images of nonexistant alleys. Demons turn into them and slam into walls. CUL-DE-SAC Steve breaks into an open area lit by a trashcan fire that throws scary shadows on the walls. One shadow's a demon. It grabs for Steve. He ducks but Brad is caught, dragged off. BRAD No. Lemme go! You can't do this. I'm in the union! STEVE turns back to help. He's jumped. They fight. Steve's out- numbered. A Lord stuffs Steve head-first into a trashcan. The demonic Lord steps back, pleased with his work. STEVE Chai tao sun! Bong ngor! (Puzzle God, help me!) A BOLT shoots out of the can, enveloping the demon. Steve's BLOWN OUT, spinning. IN MIDAIR He rights himself, holds the jade out before him. He lands softly, amazing himself as much as the demons. He's singed but okay. He unclenches his fist, notices... CU - STEVE'S POV The jade has left a burning imprint. STEVE Ayee yaa! Jun Bong do ngor! (Wow, he really did help me!) A BURST OF PLASMA from the jade. ANGLE - STREET The Lord's now just a pile of smoking ash. Steve's alone. STEVE He studies the jade curiously. It changes color. STEVE Jeezzz. I got 'em, Brad. (he looks around) Brad?... Where are you? INT. CHI LUNG'S FORTRESS - DUNGEON - SHORT TIME LATER Egg and Kim are imprisoned along with a number of sobbing, young girls. Brad is carried in and dumped on his head. BRAD Ooof! Hey, I believe you've just violated my civil rights. You're in big trouble now! The demon LUNGES AND ROARS at him. It curls Brad's hair. He rapidly scrambles backward, away. BRAD And do something about your breath. He catches sight of Egg. BRAD Whew! These guys are kinda lax in personal hygiene. He spots Kim. BRAD Kim...there you are... He looks around. BRAD Kim. Where the hell are we? She looks at Egg. EGG SHEN Not exactly Hell. But close. Egg is strangely calm as Buddha, but Kim is seething. KIM How can you sit there so calmly?! BRAD What's wrong? KIM What's wrong?! We've been captured by demons, imprisoned with a bunch of whining... young...virgins. BRAD Yeah... (eyeing the virgins) You know...it's not so bad... KIM And you! Great Wizard! Why don't you do something! Egg looks up from his meditation. EGG SHEN Why don't you! KIM Me? EGG SHEN The jade has foretold your actions. Trust the Chai Tao. KIM Chai Tao? What kind of hocus pocus...? EGG SHEN Chi Lung must face the Judges of Hell. He doesn't have the complete puzzle. He'll stall ... maybe offer them virgin sacrifices for more demons. And to keep them amused. The mist parts, more virgins are revealed, tied to stakes. BRAD Yep. That would do it for me. KIM Sacrifices? EGG SHEN I'm afraid so. BRAD Wow! Good thing I'm not a virgin. (she glares at him) What are you so mad about? I think you're off the hook, too! KIM Why don't you try to find a way out? EGG SHEN There is no way out. KIM Of course there is... She walks toward a doorway...BLLLZZZT! She's blown back. EGG SHEN The mystic bands are too strong. KIM Are you a top wizard? EGG SHEN You must use the Chai Tao. (She stares at him.) ...the jade. KIM This...? (reaches for her necklace) It's gone. EGG SHEN Gone?! What do you mean? KIM I mean I don't have it anymore. EGG SHEN Then, we are in Big Trouble. BRAD I could'a told ya that! KIM I must've lost it during the fight. EGG SHEN Well the Flame Lords don't have it. ...maybe Steve... BRAD Steve? Last I saw of him, they had him over a barrel. EGG SHEN But he's not here. He's not captured. It's strange, he... has the will. And possibly the ability to accept. Maybe he is the one I'm looking for. (He watches Kim closely for a reaction.) I revealed the ancient ways to him. If he evaded the Lords he must have the magic well in hand. EXT. EGG'S SHOP - SAME TIME A MASSIVE EXPLOSION blows out what's left of the windows. INT. EGG'S SHOP Steve sits at the counter, blackened face, shards of a flask in his hand. He looks up at Double Chin. STEVE Right. Too much nitro. I'll just add some Yun-sum root. Double Chin's unsure. Steve's too excited to be intimidated. He busily mixes potions from Egg's magical ingredients. DOUBLE CHIN Err..what exactly did Egg say to you? STEVE Uh, you know...the magic... it's really a simple thing if you follow the formulas. Of course, you have to believe, have faith and all that. DOUBLE CHIN Did he say anything about talent? ...You know, a feel for the thing? Steve adds a powder. A small BLAST rattles the windows. DOUBLE CHIN Did he mention liability insurance? STEVE I'm sure he's got staff to take care of that. I'm operations. I'm gonna take all this stuff and go and get him and Kim. Maybe Brad. DOUBLE CHIN You? Against Chi Lung? You're just gonna walk in? STEVE No, I'll take the bus. DOUBLE CHIN You're crazy! STEVE Yeah, people always say that. DOUBLE CHIN There's a good reason. If you think you...can go against Chi Lung and the demons, you're out of your mind. STEVE What about your master? DOUBLE CHIN We will handle it. We don't need your help. We are quite capable. Come on, Hearts, let's go. They turn, march out. EXT. CURIO SHOP They emerge to find Steve standing there. Stunned, they turn and see Steve still standing inside. Steve raises his hands parallel to each other. Electricity dances between them. DOUBLE CHIN How'd you know how to do that? STEVE Oh, the Mau Soot! ...the "Two places, One Time"? ancient hat trick. Still want to leave? DOUBLE CHIN More than ever. STEVE Before the main event? Maybe they should call you Mo Dam... the Faint Hearts. The White Hearts look at each other, stiffen at the insult. STEVE They got demons, they got most of the Chai Tao. They got Egg Shen. I think you guys can use all the help you can get. Look, I don't know what I'm doing ...I'm just learning about this. DOUBLE CHIN Then why do you interfere with us? STEVE I have to get the jade back. For the museum. I also...well I just want to learn about this. Look... He creates a hologram of the jade. It shimmers before them. DOUBLE CHIN You've learned the magic... STEVE Yeah. And I've devised a potion. I think it'll enhance strength and speed. At least that's what it says in the book, here. They look uneasy. He offers it. It bubbles from flask to glass and foams toxically. STEVE The first one's always free. DOUBLE CHIN (excessively polite) Oh, no. You first. Then he's not so sure. He screws up his courage and swallows it. He drinks, stands blinking and burping. DOUBLE CHIN How d'you feel? STEVE Strong as an ox. (sniff, sniff) ...Same fragrance. Care for a sharpener? They back away. STEVE You want to grow big and strong like the demons, don't you? DOUBLE CHIN How can you know of this? STEVE I'm a quick study. DOUBLE CHIN No. It's impossible for you to lead us, to learn the magic, the ancient ways...Only Egg Shen can know these things. STEVE Oh? (flips, lands in the same place, TWANGS with energy.) Well, maybe it's because my heart is pure. (A flask blows, showering them with shrapnel.) Then again, maybe not. Maybe I need the jade. Well, your move. You want me faster and stronger. You want to leave a stranger to save your master? Alone? Against all the forces of Hell? Well? Do ya? At the dare. Double grabs the potion, takes it in a gulp. STEVE Well... DOUBLE CHIN I think I...feel...something. Hey, I feel great! STEVE That's just the caffeine. Can you move really fast? DOUBLE CHIN How's that? STEVE How's what? DOUBLE CHIN See, really fast. Steve rolls his eyes, but Double turns and high-fives him, making a mild thunderclap. DOUBLE CHIN Haiiii Loh! Fat seut do! (Yes, Victory! Magical powers!) He flips, spins, tumbles, darts around the room at incredible speed. The White Hearts are clearly seeing double. He's a blur. Then appears in a flash before Steve. DOUBLE CHIN What do you think? STEVE Looks like happy hour at the espresso bar. Who's next? The White Hearts line up, grab cups. STEVE Potion, potionccino, or potion latte? EXT. LITTLE CHINA - LATER THAT NIGHT EGG SHEN'S BUS creeps through the darkened streets. INT. BUS Steve and the Hearts are wired and jabbering like magpies. Double Chin notices the sky above the warehouse. DOUBLE CHIN Shhhhh... Uh oh! EXT. LITTLE CHINA The sky boils with swirled lightning and dark clouds. INT. CHI'S FORTRESS - THRONE ROOM Egg, Kim and Brad are dragged in. The Flame Lords present the virgins. Chi's more demonic than ever. He grins at the terrified girls, at Egg, Kim and Brad. CHI LUNG Thirteen beautiful virgins. BOBBY Yeah, practically every one in the Bay Area. CHI LUNG And the jade? BOBBY The jade? CHI LUNG (furious) I told you to get the final piece of the Chai Tao! Time's running out! BOBBY He doesn't have it. We looked all over, took his shop apart. Chi's overcome with fury, and grows madder and madder. CHI LUNG Where's the jade, Egg Shen? EGG SHEN With a worthy mortal. CHI LUNG I will have that Jade! EGG SHEN Yes, I know. In fact, isn't this where you gloat over your power? CHI LUNG (in a fury) No. this is where you die! A sword appears in Chi's hand. He WHIPS it through the old man's chest. A Flash! Bobby looks in horror as Egg dissolves into thin air. END OF ACT SIX ACT SEVEN INT. CHI LUNG'S FORTRESS - SAME TIME Bobby looks at smoking ash that used to be Egg Shen. BOBBY Boss, you gotta work on your temper. Egg's gone! Now, how you gonna ask him stuff? CHI LUNG Ah, Egg...forgotten but not gone! Don't worry. EXT. CHI LUNG'S FORTRESS - SAME TIME The bus idles as the White Hearts surveil the perimeter. DOUBLE CHIN Well? Double is apprehensive. Other White Hearts report. WHITE HEART Reinforced gate. Tripwires, interrupter beams. Motion sensors...possibly gas. DOUBLE CHIN (turns to Steve) What do you think? STEVE I think this calls for something elegant DOUBLE CHIN Right. Like what? INT. FORTRESS Flame Lords stand guard. Suddenly, THE DOOR SHATTERS, sending them flying. The bus ROCKETS through, filled with screaming White Hearts, SLAMS into a wall and comes to rest steaming. Double shakes his head. DOUBLE CHIN That...was elegant? STEVE I thought so. You know...in terms of simplicity. INT. FORTRESS / EXT. BUS The Demon Lords are down but not out. They swarm as the White Hearts tumble off the bus. The battle's joined. It's demon versus potion, magic against magic. The demons are horrific and terrifying, slashing the air with their razor claws. The White Hearts are so quick the demons can't nail them, can't land a blow. The White Hearts are inside their defenses, are flipping overhead. They're everywhere. Double Chin flips to get out of a jam and lands in a cache of firecrackers. He rubs them together at super speed, springs out just as they go off in a technicolor BLAST!. White Hearts fall upon the demons. The White Hearts penetrate further into the hidden domain. Then...the Demon Lords back away. Double warns... DOUBLE CHIN No! Wait! Hold up! Too Late! The trap is sprung. The walls DISSOLVE and they are alone, in a MAZE. Chi Lung's LAUGHTER RINGS... INT. THRONE ROOM The Flame Lords retreat into this innermost sanctum, licking their wounds. Chi Lung's LAUGHTER stops. He's not happy to see them. HOWLING! He turns back. The Judges of Hell appear. They're old, they're decrepit, ill-tempered. They glare at him with ill-concealed contempt. He puts on a happy face. CHI LUNG (mumbles to himself) ...not quite ready... (then to the judges) Judges of Hell...Welcome! Good to see you! Glad you could come! How've you been? The first judge just scowls. Chi's smile freezes. He turns to Judge 2. SECOND JUDGE We've been in Hell, Chi Lung. How good could it be? CHI LUNG Yah, well...Okay then, right to the show! Presenting... He spreads his arms like a Master of Ceremonies. Thirteen altars appear in a circle. On the altars the sobbing virgins are bound. Among them is Kim, being tied down by Bobby. ANGLE - KIM AND BOBBY KIM What's all this for? BOBBY The virgins? Oh, sacrifices. Down payments on the demons. KIM So what am I doing here? BOBBY Kind of an honorary thing. You know, you could come to the dark side with me. KIM I don't think so. BOBBY Are you sure? You'd look good in red and black. KIM You are working for an evil psychopathic maniac. BOBBY Hey, well...Nobody's perfect. You gonna let a little thing like good and evil come between us? KIM Look at him. He isn't even human anymore. How will you come out of this? You think he'll let you live when it's over? BOBBY (shocked at the thought) He'd never... KIM Yeah? Look at your friends. More Flame Lords stumble in. One is badly wounded and GROANING. Annoyed, Chi Lung turns, lofts a PLASMIC BLAST, BLOWS HIM AWAY. Clumps of demon fur float to the floor. ANGLE BOBBY Distracted, or possibly intentionally...he fails to secure Kim's hand. ANGLE CHI LUNG He glares at the smoking spot, turns back to his guests. CHI LUNG Ahem...Now, the sacrifice will come to order. GONGS RING. Demons come to attention. The ceremony begins. Chi Lung goes to the first young woman, putting his hands on her shoulders. She struggles to withdraw in horror. CHI LUNG It's alright. It's not sex. Kim struggles to break free. KIM You maniac, you'll kill them! CHI LUNG Please miss. Is that really helpful? He turns to the terrified girl, leering. CHI LUNG Not death as we know it. Just the temporary use of their souls. Hardly miss 'em. Kind of like living in Cleveland. Trust me. With glowing eyes, the evil sorcerer starts to pull the girl's soul right out of her body. Her eyes bulge...green mist drifts out and curls about her head. She struggles and pulls it back. CHI LUNG That's right, don't make it too easy. He leans in, his eyes glow red, his face morphs into a horrible monster. The Virgin opens her mouth to scream. With a SUCKING SOUND her soul exits her mouth as a column of pale green smoke. The girl's soul becomes a bright sphere that floats above her empty head. CHI LUNG See, if women would just learn to keep their mouths shut. ANGLE - KIM KIM (outraged) You...Geu! (pig) Chi Lung turns his awful attention on her. He glares. He takes an interest and moves to her. CHI LUNG And who is this? BOBBY Extra added attraction. Kim. Chi is pleasantly surprised. CHI LUNG Oh, yes. The new...moral one. A force for hope. Perhaps... the keeper of the jade? KIM I don't have the jade. Chi turns to Bobby, glaring... CHI LUNG Did you check? BOBBY I'd be happy to look again. He moves to Kim, grinning. ROAR! Bobby's lifted in a PLASMIC BEAM. He flames for a bit, then drops. Chi turns away. ANGLE - BRAD BRAD This guy's really starting to get on my nerves. Chi looks over and BLASTS BRAD out of the room. ELSEWHERE - CORRIDORS Steve, Double, and the White Hearts penetrate deeper into the TUNNELLED MAZE of Chi Lung's lair. A RUMBLE - A BLAST Brad SLAMS DOWN nearby, stunned. STEVE Brad. How'd you escape? BRAD They called for virgins. I guess I just don't fit the job description. DOUBLE CHIN You're lucky. BRAD Hey, I'm the last guy picked on softball teams too. STEVE Come on. BRAD 'Come on,' he says. Like he knows what direction. STEVE Any direction but here. They explore the subterranean galleries. Hidden doorways lead to secret passages held by mysterious visual and aural clues. The puzzles are based on Chinese iconography. Steve must decipher the pictorial characters of ideograms. STEVE Fong gon...the character for room. Neur...the sign for woman. DOUBLE CHIN A secret passage? STEVE No. I think its the ladies room. Keep looking. Here. Lo...Heung Ceung Lo...a pathway between villages... He presses. BLINK THE WALLS DISSOLVE They are now in a chamber. At one end is an elaborately carved GOLDEN GATE. Egg, now a GHOSTLY, VAPOROUS FIGURE, is held by a FORCE BEAM. STEVE Egg, what happened? EGG SHEN I lost a little weight. What are you doing here? STEVE Well, actually...we're...well, we're lost. EGG SHEN Lost, Grasshopper? STEVE Yeah, and they've got Kim. And two parts of the jade. EGG SHEN Whew! That's what we in Hell call a major screw up. STEVE Can you help us?! EGG SHEN Not while I'm held here. Not while the jade's lost. BRAD It's not lost. I got it right here. He holds up the THIRD PIECE OF JADE MATCH DISSOLVE INT. THRONE ROOM - SAME TIME Chi sets the other pieces in an altar. The girls' souls drift above their bodies. Kim engages Bobby's attention. KIM Do something! This is horrible. BOBBY This is nothing. You should see when he really loses it. KIM (moves to Bobby) You're better than this. You don't belong with him. BOBBY You really think so? A beat. Surreptitously Kim works at her bonds. BOBBY Well, I certainly didn't count on this demon stuff. KIM Let me tell you about Hell... Now the first level... ANGLE - CEREMONY Nobody notices Kim. All attention is on the girls' souls. They drift toward the Judges. The Judges look very interested. They move closer to see them dance. CHI LUNG I promised virgins, I gave you virgins. The virgins vanish in a burst of light. CHI LUNG Now we make a deal. JUDGE We make no deals, Chi Lung. ANGLE - KIM still working on Bobby, whispering in his ear. BOBBY Hooks? Really? Hooks?... KIM Yeah, looks like your soul is in real danger. Those judges look friendly to you? Bobby's glances at them. They glare. Unnoticed, Kim slips her bonds, sneaks away. ANGLE - CHI LUNG CHI LUNG Not so easy to find virgins in Hell. Quite a premium on the goods. Think about it. And for the piece de resistance. A resistant one. He turns to Kim's position. No Kim. The dungeon door's open. CHI LUNG Where is she!? BOBBY Uhhh... Gone. CHI LUNG I can see that, you idiot! Bobby's horrified. Chi's grown uglier, demon-like...hellish. BOBBY Boss, can I have a word with you. CHI LUNG Not now! Find her! Bring her back! Flame Lords, Begone! BOBBY Boss, take a look at yourself. This isn't good for you. Chi hurls a BOLT that blows him backward down the hall. He staggers to his feet, shakes his head. BOBBY This isn't right. What am I doing here? (Glances at the demons) Ah, hell. Come on. Demon Flame Lords follow him. INT. CORRIDORS - KIM A MAZE of doorways, chutes, ramps, obstacles. Kim's on the run. She ducks down a ramp into a tunnel. The demons are ROARING close behind...drawing closer. Ahead, Flame Lords, behind, Bobby and more Lords. She ducks left, then is cut off. She slams into a gate. ANGLE - AN ELABORATE GOLDEN GATE Interwoven scrolls and icons, dragons, and idiograms. Bobby catches up. He approaches with the Flame Lords. BOBBY Now you made him really mad. Kim backs against the gate...trapped. KIM I don't believe this. OTHER SIDE OF THE GOLDEN GATE Using the jade puzzle piece, Steve, Double and the White Hearts are trying to figure out the magical unlocking formula. Egg coaches from within his force field. STEVE That sounds familiar... Kim? INTERCUT KIM Steve? They've got you too? No it can't be. STEVE Oh, of course! You demand rationality? At a time like this?! A HOWL from the approaching demons. She turns to face them. KIM This isn't happening. I'm not here. STEVE Fine, tell me where we are. KIM Well I...I...I can't. It doesn't make sense. STEVE Not to our rational sense of the world, but I'm dealing with it, so who's acting rational? KIM You are, huh? And just what do you think? STEVE Near as I can figure out, we're on some other physical plane. KIM And you went to college for that? STEVE I have studied it, yes. Something you might consider. Your mind tells you this can't be. But maybe your heart tells you something else. If you look at everything rationally, well, hell... most things don't make sense. Men, women. You. Me. To do anything, you have to have faith. It's only when you feel...when you suspend your disbelief... KIM You really believe that crap? STEVE Not really. You? KIM Uh unh. The demons move in, ROARING, HISSING, CLAWING. STEVE But we better find something! Egg, help us! EGG SHEN I can't. Yen Lo is the only one who can do that. You must call him. You both must! Use the jade. He holds up the jade to the door. STEVE Remember that phrase your grandmother taught you... EGG SHEN But you must also believe... KIM Believe...I believe...I'm in Big Trouble... STEVE Chai tao sun...do! (Puzzle God...come!) Kim resists...but then...what the hell! She reachs through the carved gate, her finger barely touches the jade... KIM Chai tao sun, bong ngor!... (Puzzle God, help me!) BOTH Yut chai ho hup! (United in harmony!) The jade FLASHES! The GATE flies open. A ROAR OF FIRE. END OF ACT SEVEN ACT EIGHT INT. THE THRONE ROOM - SAME TIME Yen Lo arrives with Brad, Kim and Steve, Egg, Double and Bobby Wang. The White Hearts and Flame Lords tumble in after them. Chi Lung has completed his change...He's been transformed into an ogre. Bobby's shocked and disgusted. BOBBY Here, Chi Lung. The Chai Tao! He holds it up. Chi sends out a BOLT and grabs it, but Bobby hangs on and is carried over to the altar. He drops. Chi glares at him, eyes burning. BOBBY Let them go! Chi Lung! You've got what you want. Chi opens his hand for the jade. Bobby's compelled to release it. Chi grabs the THIRD JADE, knocks Bobby aside,...and puts all the pieces togeth... CHI LUNG No! Bobby leaps at him and knocks them apart! They fly off in different directions. Chi sends a FIREBALL BLASTING at Bobby. He's knocked down, tumbled under the blast. The Flame Lords attack. Double and the White Hearts take them on. ANGLE CHI He throws a BOLT down at the three pieces of jade. They slide across the floor, inexorably drawn back toward Chi. THE CHAI TAO Steve leaps for one piece. He grabs it...He's dragged by it under and through the tumbling combatants. KIM leaps for the second piece and gets dragged, kicking and struggling against it. BOBBY has the other, he digs in his heels trying not to let the pieces come together but, inch by inch, they're drawn in... Demons grab them by the ankles, piling on. Brad and Double try to hold off the demons. Chi turns his power on Kim. Her piece pops out of her hand, flies to Chi, who spears it like a short stop. She's highlighted in a force field. Chi grins triumphantly. He LEVITATES her. Steve runs to her is BLOWN BACK, crawls to her, reaches out. She reaches back but the field has her... and draws her and the jade and drops them before Chi. He grabs her. BOBBY No! CHI LUNG (shocked) No?!! BOBBY Not her. CHI LUNG Not her? Then who? BOBBY Aww...Aww hell. Take me! CHI LUNG You! Who wants your worthless life?! You...Ching Twa! Bobby breaks loose, heaves his jade toward Steve. It hits and slides. Everyone dives for it. Steve gets there first. CHI is furious! The magic sword appears. He SLASHES though Bobby. Blood spatters onto the field that imprisons Yen Lo. STEVE grabs Bobby's piece, slams it together with his. CU - THE JADE PIECES ...COME TOGETHER. POOF! A MASSIVE EXPLOSION! THRONE ROOM -A MILLISECOND LATER Yen Lo appears full-sized and disgruntled. He waves the smoke away. He towers over the terrified Chi Lung. YEN LO Judges..render your judgement! JUDGE What do you think? I kinda lean toward the virgins. YEN LO No! The deed has been done. Your duty is clear. They turn to Chi. CHI LUNG No! I got you virgins. Look at all the trouble I caused. Hell would be nothing without guys like me! He grabs Kim as hostage...and grabs the THIRD CHAI TAO PIECE. Steve lunges for him but he threatens Kim with knifelike claws. Kim slams her elbow into his gut. The CHAI flies from his hands, lands at her feet. She dropkicks it to Steve. The demon in Chi rises up, horrible, threatening... CHI LUNG Give me that jade ...or die! Steve slams the third piece into place and makes the complete CHAI TAO! STEVE Go to Hell! FROM THE JADE - A BLAST KNOCKS STEVE AWAY THEN SHOOTS AT CHI LIKE A SPEAR THROUGH HIS SOLAR PLEXIS. He's rocketed up. Below, a hole opens. THE ENTRANCE TO HELL He's swept in and plunges down...screaming all the way. When the dust clears, there are only bits of cloth floating up from the hole. Brad picks up the CHAI TAO, studies it. Yen Lo looks on complaisantly. YEN LO Never liked that guy. Kim runs to the fallen Steve. She drops to him. KIM No. It can't be. YEN LO Sorry. The decision of the judges is final. KIM No. Please. You must return him to me! YEN LO We're dealing with immutable laws of the universe here. She grabs the Chai Tao from Brad, points it at Yen Lo. KIM You're a wizard. You can do it! YEN LO Would you mind not rubbing the jade when you make suggestions like that. KIM (gets tough) It's not a suggestion! She slams the pieces together. POP! A BEAM shoots. Virgin souls suck back into their bodies. Flame Lords revert from demons to punks. The Judges disappear. But Bobby's ghost still hangs in the air and Steve just lies there. YEN LO Do you have any idea how that screws up the paperwork? KIM I don't care! (Turns to him, fire in her eyes.) NEI YU BONG NGOR! (You must help me!) (a demand) Steve... She slams the pieces together! The air BURSTS, the WIND WHIPS fiercely. The White Hearts drop back, shielding their eyes. The dust settles, Kim stands with Steve at her side. Egg and the virgins appear in human form. Yen Lo smiles. YEN LO You know I really didn't think that would work. KIM I...believed... She and Steve are looking deeply into each other's eyes... getting lost...Yen Lo prattles on... YEN LO You are very impressive for a mortal woman. KIM (sarcastic, ignoring him) Yeah... wow, thanks. YEN LO Yes...Perhaps if you lead a life of quality...and you avoid saturated fats, you... and your soul mate, might be fortunate enough to go to Hell again. KIM (underwhelmed...) Gee...that'd be swell. Steve suddenly notices a lifeless body. STEVE Bobby... EGG SHEN He fought Chi. YEN LO And in so doing, possibly saved his soul. STEVE Aw, you know...He wasn't so bad. He shouldn't go to hell. Yen Lo smiles. YEN LO I'll see what I can do. Well, I must be off...souls to gather, houses to haunt. He glows and rises up, does a kung fu flip about the room, and disappears in a shower of sparks. BRAD I don't get it. KIM (ironic) It's because we Chinese are inscrutable. STEVE I don't know, I find you highly scrutable. KIM You're kind of interesting yourself...in a goyish way. STEVE I'm just trying to learn... EGG SHEN That's admirable, Grasshopper, Now, If you just cut out those one liners. I may take you on. STEVE As partner? EGG SHEN Apprentice. We must study and search for worthy youth. STEVE We've got one right here. KIM Not me, I've got my own career. STEVE You sure I can't change your mind? KIM You can try. A little of that old black magic... They kiss. STEVE Thought you didn't believe in that... KIM Convince me... EXT. LITTLE CHINA - IN FRONT OF EGG'S SHOP - NEXT DAY The KISS continues... Then Kim breaks. Clarence walks out of Egg's shop, hands Steve a cellular phone. CLARENCE He's still yelling. You better take it. STEVE Yeah, Dad, the jade... It's lost...yep, sorry. No way to get it back. Well, Sorry you feel like that. But I'm afraid that jade is gone for good. He winces at a LOUD BLAST as the phone is slammed down... STEVE Oh, and say hello to Mom. CLARENCE He's kinda mad at you. Maybe you should stay in Little China... it's a lot quieter than out there... He gets in his car and pulls away. KIM I'll see you again. STEVE And I'll see you. Kim climbs into the truck with Brad. STEVE Take care of her. BRAD I don't think she needs my help. Brad offers his hand. Rivalry exists, but also friendship. Kim hands Steve the piece of Jade. He fits the pieces together to form the complete CHAI TAO, but Egg takes them. EGG SHEN They must stay separate, Grasshopper. It's better that way. He hands Steve the single museum piece. EGG SHEN See if you can take better care of this. STEVE We both will...okay? Egg gives the second piece to Kim. EGG SHEN Okay. (turns to Brad) But the secret must stay hidden. It's better that we forget about this. Egg makes a quick magical motion. Something comes over Brad. BRAD Forget about what? Steve puts his arm around Egg's shoulder. STEVE Louie, I think this is the start of a beautiful... (looks at Egg. A beat.) ....uh...apprenticeship. Egg laughs. They walk off arm in arm. EXT. - LITTLE CHINA Kim drives away. Brad pulls out a beer. BRAD I don't know...All this mysticism stuff...It's all just a fantasy. I don't believe a word of it. KIM Yeah, you're probably right. Popping off the lid, he tilts his head back to drink. Green smoke rises out of the bottle as he raises it to his mouth. Kim starts to warn him as we...... ZOOM UP AND AWAY...FROM BIG TROUBLE... THE END BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA II Movie of the Week Story by Charles Proser and Peter David Screenplay by Charles Proser Based on Characters Created by David Z. Weinstein, Cary Goldman and W.D. Richter Second Network Draft November 1, 1994 GALAXY WAY PRODUCTIONS Registered WGA,w All Rights Reserved